Monday, August 31, 2015

Texas Border Overwhelmed By Migrant Surge!

A wave of immigrants threatens to overwhelm Texas' already hard-pressed border, as an unprecedented surge of Californians attempt to enter the Lone Star State.

Californians Attempting to Enter Texas

An estimated 600,000 Californians have swarmed into Texas, trying to escape deteriorating living conditions in the one-time Golden State, which is characterized by drought, oppressive taxation and soaring costs of living.

Militia Defend Texas Border

The flood of Californians has caused citizen's militias to mobilize in defense of the border, and what they see as Governor Rick Perry's failure to secure his state from the unprecedented surge of Californian immigrants.

A Makeshift Camp of Californians

"Rick's alright," stated one militia commander, on the condition of anonymity, "But he's not the sharpest stick in the pack. He invited all these Californians here thinking they'd boost the economy and vote for him. 

Fire on the Mountain

"All they do is thieve, trash everyone's land and lay around high all day. They won't even vote for him, they're like a Trojan horse. That's why we're mobilizing, to close our border with California and stop this threat. We don't want Texas to turn into some kind of shakedown street."

Californian Border Surge

Governor Perry invited Californians to move to Texas in 2013, stating that it was "impossible to start a business in California." It appears that his invitation has been answered.

Typical Austin Park Scene

The City of Austin is estimated to be at least 92% Californian.

Your Pal,



LL said...

Coming to a town near you with the intent to californicate Texas.

jenny said...

Is it as low as 92%?? I'd have put that figure higher.
Relieved I escaped when I did. Now training to join the militia, along with the rest of the DLC.

LSP said...

I'm sorry, LL. There are good Californians...

LSP said...

Train, train, train, Jenny. Fitness is key.

LL said...


We Kalifornians need a Kardashian Flag (like the Obama hope and change flag but more homo).

LL said...


LL said...

Infidel de Manahatta said...

People have always left impoverished nations for freedom. Glad to know it's still happening.

LSP said...

I've always kind of liked that song.

LSP said...

You can't blame them, Infidel.