Monday, November 14, 2016

Hunter Kills Rainbow Unicorn Social Media Erupts



Social media has erupted with death threats after a hunter posted pictures of himself on Facebook with "Libbo," a rainbow unicorn which he shot inside the popular Washington DC game preserve, Hubristika.

Libbo, who was widely regarded as the world's favorite unicorn, was shot last week  on a guided hunt in Hubristika, causing Twitter users to react with outrage and repeated calls for the real estate mogul turned hunter to be "killed" and "murdered."




In Portland, Oregon, anguished unicorn lovers took to the streets in protest against the slaying, rioting and looting.





However, as one pundit commented, "Bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah, bwaah. Nobody cares."





The hunter remains unrepentant and was reportedly offering UK politician and BREXIT architect, Nigel Farage, unicorn steaks in his iconic Golden Tower. "Sometimes you have to cull the herd," he stated, "It's conservation."

Steaks on the grill,

LSP


13 comments:

Adrienne said...

Yum. Unicorn steaks.

LL said...

Unicorn steaks should be the fare for the next edition of Cooking with LSP. There are a lot of people out there who need to know whether to fricassee, BBQ, or cook delicious unicorn steaks in a wok.

Jules said...

Nobody cares. Blah, blah, yaddah, yaddah, blah blah. In fact, this is how much I care: If you want sympathy you’ll find it in the dictionary halfway between shit and syphilis. Boom.

GruntOfMonteCristo said...

This Hubristika sounds like a scary place. I think he did the unicorn a favor!

Theodore Crispino said...

This might be one of my favorite posts yet.

Also, do you know the best part about eating unicorn? Getting to pick your teeth with the horn while enjoying your post dinner cigar and brandy.

LSP said...

I know, Adrienne! So tasty.

LSP said...

That, LL, is a very good idea. I like the skillet/oven method, but that's just me.

LSP said...

Jules, I have to agree. And where is this "Portland" anyway?

LSP said...

Exactly, Grunt. It'd only have been torn apart by hyenas anyway. Thanks for getting the shot.

LSP said...

Theodore, I'm not an expert but I've heard they make good bottle openers and knife handles too. #Exotic

Adrienne said...

I'll be doing my Unicorn roast in my electric pressure cooker. Tender and quick.

LindaG said...

Fun as it is, now we pray for Trump's safety and hope that he fulfills at least the most important of his promises.

Be safe, everyone, and God bless us all.

Infidel de manahatta said...

Dark times ahead. This is the direct result of 50 years of coddling the younger generation.

More and more I'm seeing similarities between the Nazis, the communists and the Democratic party: silence dissent, blame the opposition. Jail the opposition.

Free speech. Was nice while it lasted.