Man Abducted By Diocese Of Perth!

An Australian man has come forward claiming he was attacked and abducted by the Archdiocese of Perth. What's more, the Down Under abductee says he can prove it, thanks to satellite imagery.

The alien kidnap victim, Kevin Mooner, alleges that he attempted to punch the Archdiocese of Perth before he was taken aboard the space creature's Mother Ship. 

"The satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the Archdiocese of Perth by punching it in the face.

"The satellite has captured a real alien abduction taking place. The shocking thing about this was that it's me being abducted by a grey alien and the satellite image clearly shows me trying to fight off the grey alien by punching it in the face."

However, skeptics say Mooner's abduction story is untrue. "Everyone has a story to tell about being abducted by the Anglican Church of Australia," stated one expert, "But this is fantasy. These people see this stuff online and copy each other."

The Archdiocese of Perth declined to comment.

Ad Astra,

LSP

American Spirit

There's a lot of  bad news coming out of Houston and a lot of good news (click unmute if there's no sound on the infovideo), how people are pulling together and showing American spirit instead of the risible and destructive identity politics that's been in the air recently. 

America's intrinsically racist, fascist and wicked, say the haters as they run in horror from statues of Columbus into the nearest rainbow transutopia safe space. Or throw bottles of urine and feces at police.

Imagine their dismay, their boiling rage at the spectacle of whites, blacks and latinos rescuing one another from the flood. Not so good for the narrative, sorry, lie, and then there's shotgun man, protecting a strip from dindu looters. 

He's black and... and... and he stands for the law, in his own words, for what's right. I count him with the good guys and devil take the hindmost.

With that in mind, when the rule of law is down it doesn't hurt to be harmed.

Ride on,

LSP

Texas Runs Out Of Gas!

"I'm here, at the end of the world, in a gas line," texted my philisophical pal, GWB. It seemed that gasoline and water were in short supply because of panic buying. To put it bluntly, there was no more gasoline in Dallas.

"It's OK here," I replied, "We're prepared in the country." But not so fast, LSP. On the way back from evening Mass I thought I'd fill up the tank and discovered that all the filling stations in town had run out of their prime commodity. Except two; I chose the one with the shortest line.

A Gas Shortage Dog

Ten minutes later the rig was full and ready to go and I shot off a text to my Wittgensteinian ally, "I have gas, guns, ammo, water, food, axes, knives and wine. Bring. It. On." He was impressed and took a pause from critiquing Bertrand Russell's miserable numbers theory, "You're ready to rock. I have a water filter." 

Hunh, he had me there. What happens when the water's gone and you need to purify what's coming out of the Brazos or the toxic Trinity? That's when the filter comes in handy.

No Gas

Seriously, this incident of panic buying that's created a shortage when there wasn't a shortage makes you wonder what things would be like in a real emergency. Nasty, I'll warrant.

In related news, a banana peel was discovered in a tree at Ole Miss, causing the college to go into a paroxysm of self-recrimination at the sheer racist atrocity of it all. 

But hold on, why should a banana peel in a tree be racist?

You do the math,

LSP

Just Shooting The Breeze

One of the best things about shooting is how awesome it is and the other day's outing with my brother was no exception. Just a lot of fun, shooting the breeze with an AR and a Glock. 

A Typical Aberystwyth Pub

Rumour has it that the Dallas Light Cavalry (DLC irreg) is open to overseas recruits, as long as they have a solid Texan connection and can shoot. 

That might knock Prince Cider (Charles) into touch, but perhaps Aberystwyth is in the running?

One Flyer But Good Work

100 yard head shots with a red dot and pretty much totally fresh to the weapon. Not shabby at all, I'd say.

Well done, bro. Big fun to get out in the field and welcome to the Mess, irregular as it is.

Gun Rights,

LSP

Fish 1 LSP 0

The air was clear, bright and for Texas at the end of August, pleasantly cool. So why not head over to the dam after visiting the sick and see if the fish were biting. Good plan, eh?

No, bad plan because of the War on Weather, which stopped the dam letting water out of Lake Whitney into the Brazos and further inundating an already flooded Houston.  That meant there weren't any fish in the channel apart from a few lazy Gar and lots of turtles.

So I didn't catch anything. Still, it was good to unwind for an hour or so overlooking the water and, to be honest, I was more in it for the country air and relaxation than anything else. Mind you, there's no escaping the fact that the fish won this round.

Good luck next time, fish. This isn't over.

Fish on,

LSP

Shoot!

In Aberystwyth you're not allowed to shoot Glocks or AR15s because they're far too dangerous. So when my brother drove over from Dallas, where he's taking a vacation from "Aber", I loaded up the rig with some deadly assault rifles and a couple of .45s. And off we went to the range.

First off, we tackled a green silhouette at 30 and 50 yards with a banned-in-the-UK carbine, topped with a Primary Arms red dot. It's a fun gun to shoot and my brother did well, handily putting down the green terrorist. Take that, paper aggressor, you lose.

Note Cooking Glock

Then it was time for some banned-because-Brits-can't be-trusted-with-pistols Glock action. Mostly against steel plates at 10, 18, 24 and 30 yards. Big excitement as the workmanlike bit of Austrian engineering roared in the hand with explosive fury. Great enjoyment.

The best shots of the day went to my brother, who scored a series of headshots at 100 yards against the green enemy. Not bad, given no magnification and a dot.

Moral of the story? Shoot more.

Gun rights,

LSP

Hurricane Harvey Pounds Texas Coast Statues Remain

Hurricane Harvey has pounded the Texas coast bringing flooding, destruction, injury and death to the Lone Star State. Houston was badly hit, with widespread flooding that looks set to increase in severity this week. 

Houston has not removed its Confederate statues.

Destruction

New Orleans, by contrast, has taken down its Confederate statues and has so far been spared the fury of the hurricane. According to one meteorlogical expert, this was a matter of "math."

"New Orleans tore their statues down and guess what? No hurricane. You do the math."

Houston's Spirit Of The Confederacy Before The Hurricane

Hurricane Harvey has been downgraded to a tropical storm but is set to deluge southeastern Texas with rain and flooding. The National Weather Service has called the event "unprecedented."

A Typical Confederate Statue

Confederate statues still remain in Houston, albeit submerged for now under the waves of a turbulent and destructive sea.

Divine Judgement Falls Upon The Galleria

Here at the Compound, rain lashes down with primal, intense fury. The Confederate war memorial still stands, resolute, in the town square, facing North East.

Dixie Forever,

LSP

Rebel Son - Bury Me In Southern Ground

Dixie. Carry on.

LSP

A Sign

Presented without comment.

LSP

That's Pretty Country

This sure is country, I thought as I looked at the machinery in the back of someone's rig in Walmart's famous country car park. Perhaps I should set up a chapel at this particular super-center and doubtless do a roaring trade. 

But seriously, what's happened to all the country pursuits that LSPland is famous for; shooting, fishing, riding, armed walkabouts in the bucolic mesquite groves of Olde Texas. What's happened to all of that? 

Getting a 17 year old into the hallowed halls of rural academe is what's happened, and I tell you this. It's not necessarily easy transferring a kid from the Canadian system into the Texan one, at least academically. By contrast, the football part wasn't hard at all; come on in and join the team was their motto.

Still, the High School enrollment evolution is almost over, which means the horizons of sporting life are starting to open up again, thank God. Must get back in the saddle, catch some fish and see if I still know how to shoot.

Look At All The Great Guns I've Bought!

Speaking of shooting, I'm tempted to do two things. One, buy an over and under shotgun and two, a .357 Magnum revolver. But all that's hypothetical. After Hurricane Harvey, Texas may have ceased to exist, sinking, like Atlantis, under the waves of a tumultuous sea.

Thunder is heaving across the sky as I write this fascinating entry, and that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP

Is Taylor Swift A Nazi?!?

Some see singer-songwriter pop legend, Taylor Swift, as the hottest performer to ever grace the recording studio. Others think that the millionaire songstress has migraine-inducing eyes and a mean little face. But whatever your opinion, shocking new evidence has emerged showing that the super-talented diva is, in fact, a Nazi.

According to one expert, "It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world. Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump's son, and they will be crowned American royalty."

The remarkably talented star has been hailed as anti-communist icon and even has a Facebook page, Taylor Swift for Fascist Europe, which has over 18,000 likes. 

"Only through the destruction of Marxism can Europe be restored to its former glory, and only fascism can ensure this destruction," stated one Swift fan.

However, the musical genius' lawyer insists that Swift is not a far-right Nazi:

The association of Ms. Swift with Adolf Hitler undisputedly is 'harmful,' 'abusive,' 'ethnically offensive,' 'humiliating to other people,' 'libelous,' and no doubt 'otherwise objectionable.' It is of no import that Ms. Swift may be a public figure or that Pinterest conveniently now argues that the Offending Material is mere satire or parody. Public figures have rights. And, there are certain historical figures, such as Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson and the like, who are universally idocententified in the case law and popular culture as lightning rods for emotional and negative reaction.

Taylor Swift, Nazi icon or innocent pop genius. You, the reader, be the judge.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

The Great Nazigasm Of 2017

It was a beautiful, stirring vision. America, by 2017, was going to be a rainbow-hued, sushi-eating transutopia, all under the beneficent gaze of the country's first ever woman President, Hillary herself. Like Sweden but better and bigger. Then disaster struck, the nation elected a man who put ketchup on his steak and lived in a golden tower.

Staring in thwarted infantile agony at their field of shattered dreams, libs everywhere fell into an irrational, hysterical frenzy. Someone or something, anything but themselves, had to be at fault and there it was, Russia! Putin hacked the election, putting a Kremlin spy into the White House but Russia frenzy could only last so long under the burden of no proof whatsoever. 

That sad little unicorn wasn't going to fly despite the best efforts of Blitzer, Maddow, Waters & Co; something else was needed. And lo and behold, boom! Nazism. It was Hitler's fault!

Hitler made Donald Trump a Nazi. And we know this because Trump doesn't think statues of Confederate generals should be smashed but does think that Nazi racists and Anarcho-Marxist revolutionaries are both wrong. That's pretty National Socialist, eh? And we've always known that General Lee was a time-travelling member of the Waffen SS. Columbus, Washington, Jefferson? The Constitution? All Nazi.

The police? Nazis. Gender binary bathrooms? Nazi. Freedom of speech? Nazi. Having a border? Very Nazi. Small government and lower taxes? Disgustingly Nazi. Saying no to Islamic terror? Yes, hideously Nazi.

Perhaps you don't think that makes much sense, that it's the kind of thing someone suffering from dropped-on-head-as-infant syndrome might believe. Well then, racist, you're a Nazi  and maybe you need to change your name to Martin Bormann and stop being such a Gauleiter.

In fact, everyone who isn't a Democrat and a member of Antifa is a Nazi. And that's just the way it is in the great Nazigasm of 2017.

Let's see how long this fit of infantile rage lasts.

LSP

The West And Europe Reacts To Jihad Terror

Another day, another murderous atrocity by the religion of never-ending peace. How will we, the West and Europe, react?

Like a roomful of adorable rainbow ponies or with something stronger? A response that gets its head around the baffling concept that, you know, there might be a correlation between Mohammed's religion and the behavior of his followers.

Jihad Runs From Peace Signs

So far things look promising in Spain, where they've laid floral tributes and made a giant, living, candlelit peace sign. That'll stop the Jihad; Moslem fanatics run from flowers and peace signs every time.

Moslem Head-Choppers Don't Like Teddy Bears And Candles

They're doing well in Denmark too, with their new "hug a jihadi" program. ISIS quakes and who can blame them. After all, who wants to be hugged by a safe-space Dane? Terrifying.

A Typical CNN Dream Catcher

Of course here in America, CNN's busy getting to the root of the problem, which is clearly white supremacism, the Klu Klux Klan and statues of nineteenth century generals. Bye-bye Lee, bye-bye Jihad. And note this, there aren't any statues of Stonewall Jackson in liberated Mosul. Problem. Solved.

But We're Bored Of Jihad! Time To Sleep.

All this aside, the West could do the unthinkable and... no, that would be racist because as everyone knows, Islam's a race.

Behold The Genius Of Yoko, And John

So stay tuned for more daily Jihad terror as the West and Europe in particular, continue to ride the rainbow with gay abandon. And that's just fine until the Sharia Police throw you off the top of the nearest building. 

John and Yoko forever,

LSP

Tales of Country Life in Texas

It was a day much like any other day, triple digit heat bouncing off Walmart's car park and you could feel the nuttiness as soon as you got inside the store. 

There it was, no sooner through the automatic doors and people were acting weird, off-hand and unbalanced, as though things could spin out of control. Maybe it was the heat.

Random SMLE

I took a cart and pushed on to stock up, milk, bread, wine, cheese and for some reason, root beer. It seemed good to me, I don't know why and it wasn't easy to get, there was too much random motion.

As I pulled the 4 pack of IBC into the cart, a weather-beaten woman slid across the aisle in front of me in dirty socks. No shoes, just socks; I guess it's easier to skate over Walmart's vinyl floor in socks, shoes have too much traction. I dodged out of the way but didn't get far.

Furries

A grinning, white haired giant loomed out of the freezer aisle into my path. "Say," he growled, "What's the only room in the hospital where they'll notice you?" I wasn't feeling quick and told him I didn't know. That satisfied him, after all, this was his joke. "I'll tell you, Emergency. They have a sign, says I... C... U..." 

We locked eyes and a grin creased his already lined, tan face. I told him that was pretty funny and he nodded. A moment of understanding. In the meanwhile, sock-skater had disappeared into the depths of the store and I checked out, passing the old men sitting on the bench outside the hair salon, looking brown as nuts under their veterans hats and not doing much at all except regarding the spectacle of the place unfold. This was their afternoon; I noticed one had been in Korea, but don't stare, it's rude.

Note The 12

I loaded my groceries into the rig and there, across the melting asphalt, were two young guys playing show-and-tell with a pump action twelve gauge outside their truck. Hey, why not, it's Walmart in August, there's no rule. 

Back home, Eduardo and Maria were slaughtering chickens in the back yard and getting it on to some Mexican music. They're good people and I like them; sometimes they bring me fresh eggs, which taste better than the things you buy in stores.

And that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP