Friday, September 1, 2017

Texas Runs Out Of Gas!

"I'm here, at the end of the world, in a gas line," texted my philisophical pal, GWB. It seemed that gasoline and water were in short supply because of panic buying. To put it bluntly, there was no more gasoline in Dallas.

"It's OK here," I replied, "We're prepared in the country." But not so fast, LSP. On the way back from evening Mass I thought I'd fill up the tank and discovered that all the filling stations in town had run out of their prime commodity. Except two; I chose the one with the shortest line.

A Gas Shortage Dog

Ten minutes later the rig was full and ready to go and I shot off a text to my Wittgensteinian ally, "I have gas, guns, ammo, water, food, axes, knives and wine. Bring. It. On." He was impressed and took a pause from critiquing Bertrand Russell's miserable numbers theory, "You're ready to rock. I have a water filter." 

Hunh, he had me there. What happens when the water's gone and you need to purify what's coming out of the Brazos or the toxic Trinity? That's when the filter comes in handy.

No Gas

Seriously, this incident of panic buying that's created a shortage when there wasn't a shortage makes you wonder what things would be like in a real emergency. Nasty, I'll warrant.

In related news, a banana peel was discovered in a tree at Ole Miss, causing the college to go into a paroxysm of self-recrimination at the sheer racist atrocity of it all. 

But hold on, why should a banana peel in a tree be racist?

You do the math,



LL said...

Somebody ate the delicious white part out of the banana and threw away the YELLOW part. That's clearly racist. It's also racist to eat an apple because of the desecration of the red man. You insult Hindus when you eat a steak and both Jews and Muslims when you eat a pork chop or bacon. The white man's burden is indeed great. My solution is to fix bayonets and stand-to.

You need to get one of those Swiss mountain rescue dog casques and put it around Blue Water-Bearer's neck to refresh the troops who are defending the gas station.

A gasoline shortage in Dallas (a long way from the flooding) is strange - surreal. But once everyone has a full tank, the panic should subside. Or maybe Dallas will end up in a dystopian, post-modern world like Thunderdome in a Mad Max scenario? I'm standing by to see how it all turns out.

LSP said...

It is surreal, LL. Everyone just freaked out and bought out all the gas. When there WASN'T A SHORTAGE.

The WWM is sirely a good investment. The banana peel? We're clearly reaching peak idiocy.

LL said...

I plan on buying "fuel caddies" for storage at the WWM.

They come in different sizes, but I like the 30 gallon capacity units. I don't know how many I will buy - they're not cheap. but having two on hand (60 gallons) makes sense. Use the fuel and rotate it so that it's always fresh.

The banana peel is a clear sign of social injustice. The mere sight of the photo on your blog made me put on a pajama onesie, make a cup of hot chocolate and run for my safe space.

LindaG said...

It hurts my brain to even try to figure out the significance of the banana peel; other than people have no respect for anything any more. The picture doesn't show it, but I'd bet there was a trash can within 50 feet or so of that tree.

Or maybe squirrels like banana peels and that is a squirrel cache...

Adrienne said...

I read about about "banana gate" and was appalled. That is all. Glad you got some gas, LSP

LSP said...

Nice fuel solution, LL, and I'm impressed by your reaction to the racist enormity at Ole Miss.

A new, gentler, foamy beverage LL is emerging.

LSP said...

Linda, I get the feeling that there's a lot about Ole Miss to hurt the mind!

LSP said...

Banana Gate is especially triggering, Adrienne...

Infidel de Manahatta said...

We must destroy all bananas. They are a symbol of racism. And we must ban all King Kong movies. Also racist. And we must ban all Van Halen recordings with Sammy Hagar. Not racist but hey, come on! David Lee Roth was the man!