Walking in Texas? Take a Gun.

They say that walking's good for you but in Texas you don't know what you'll find. 

Some Crew, All Wigged-Out In The Woods

Packs of wild dogs, turkeys, fierce hogs, maybe a dove or two and the occasional wigged-out crew of freaks, holed up in the brush, trying to "find the gig" and get back to Austin.

Mind How You Go

So I like to take a 12 gauge. 

Be safe,

LSP

Jefferts Schori, Episcopal Bishop or Two-Bit Space Alien?

Katherine Jefferts Schori is the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church (TEC). But we have to ask, is Jefferts Schori a bishop, or a no-account, two-bit, space alien?

Here's what Jefferts Schori had to say about the Islamic terror attack on the World Trade Center:

"I saw a pickup truck a couple of weeks ago with a waving American flag painted on its rear window. As I walked through the parking lot, I realized there was something written on the tailgate – the word ISLAM stood out first. Finally I saw the whole sorry slogan, “everything I need to know about Islam I learned on September 11th.” How will we change hearts that seem closed to learning more about peace?

"Are we willing to recognize and then proclaim that as children of Abraham, Christians, Jews, and Muslims share that vision of a healed world that Micah paints for us?"

Here's what people in Saudi Arabia were saying:

"Then we all knew it wasn't an accident. We heard sporadic yelling in the streets and happy shouts from Saudis in our own hospital. In the terminal cancer ward, patients were hooting and screaming “Down with USA,” much to the horror of the American nurses tending them."

Maybe the Saudis weren't, you know, Muslims.

And maybe Jefferts Schori isn't "off-world."

LSP

Shoot the Red Menace

Sometimes a morning at the range involves the blast of the redoubtable Lee Enfield, or the sound and fury of a 30-06, or the explosive power of the .45. Sometimes it means hours of carbine amusement with a deadly assault rifle. All that's good and has its place but at other times I like to shoot shotgun cartridges off of a steel frame with a .22.

And that's what I did today. Lined up the Red Menace on the target frame and shot them off at around 40 yards. Then, when you've taken out the first wave, set up the fallen Reds and take them down again. Repeat at will.

Sure, it's only .22 plinking but what's wrong with that? Nothing at all and it's neat to see the targets fly up when you hit them.

So here's a tip for all you green shooters: Help combat Climate Change by recycling range trash and using your spent shotgun shells as targets.

Cheers,

LSP

Some Kind Of Sick Joke?

Here's a picture of an Episcopal priest. He lives in California. I'll leave it to you to work out whether he went to Harvard or not.

And maybe you think this is some kind of joke, like, look at this goof-off clown LSP pulled off the internet.

All real. Thanks for the tip, GWB.

God bless,

LSP

David Cameron Goes Full O-Tard

The U.K's Prime Minister, David Cameron, has gone full O-Tard, claiming that the savage Muslim terror group, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), isn't Muslim.

Unh Hunh.

"They boast of their brutality; they claim to do this in the name of Islam," stated Cameron. "That is nonsense. Islam is a religion of peace. They are not Muslims, they are monsters.”

Where's all the Muslims?

Er, OK then, Dave, so what are they? Quakers?

Obey

Rumours that Mr. Cameron was seen earlier this week being walked by President Obama while wearing a poodle costume are entirely true unfounded.

Will this ever end?

LSP

I Drove to Dallas

I drove to Dallas yesterday to visit a sick man in hospital. After that I fell back to to the DFW HQ with a view to meeting up with some friends at one of the local restaurants. Nothing fancy, just a pizza (they call them "flatbreads"...) and convivial company. But no. That was apparently too much for the team, one of whom "had to go hunting" early the next day. Interesting excuse.

DFW HQ

So I stayed in, creating a powerful marketing strategy for a restaurant/food blog called Cheapskates. The byline being, "We Want Great Scoff at a Great Price."  Stay tuned.

Home Again. Note Kyptek

Then, today, it was time to get back on the road for the country. No complaints there and tomorrow's plan is simple. Say the Mass(es), chair a meeting, go for a horse ride, maybe followed by a shoot.

Golden Void

Speaking of which, I suggested that the Diocese screen potential clergy on their ability to ride and shoot. "If you can't ride, and you can't shoot, you can'get in," I told our bishop, disarmingly. He didn't say no.

I take that as a promising sign.

God bless,

LSP

Well Done, Woodentop! Or, Kerry Goofs Again.

U.S. Commander in Chief, President Barack Hussein Obama, has launched a new weapon, an artificial intelligence, (AI) in his attempt to build a coalition of allies dedicated to overthrowing the non-Islamic terror group that mistakenly calls itself the Islamic State.

The Commander

Affectionately known to its clandestine DAARPA handlers as "Woodentop", the Kerry AI is a Fast Boat Class, experimental war android.

The Android

Since arriving in Turkey to cement an alliance against the brutal non-Islamic Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the lantern-jawed Kerry AI has stated that fighting an anti-terrorist war against ISIS is not, in fact, a "war."

ISIS Laughs

Instead, Kerry warned that military action against the Islamists that aren't Islamists is"a very significant counterterrorism operation" that will take "some period of time" and "have many different moving parts." 

Moving Parts, Woodentop?

Whether the Kerry AI's cognitive functions are solid state or contain moving parts is classified. After listening to the experimental android's arguments, Turkey has refused to let the U.S. use its airbases to strike at ISIS targets.

Since the Kerry made its "war is not war" statements, the White House has refuted its foreign policy android by announcing that it actually is at war with ISIS.

Confused? Neither are we.

Way to go, Woodentop. 

LSP

Anniversaries

Here in this country town people mark the 9/11 attack by putting out flags in their front yards. Red, white and blue. I'd do that too, but some kids stole my flag when I wasn't looking. I'd better get another one.

Some of the flag bearers may even remember that today is the 2nd anniversary of the Benghazi massacre, in which Ambassador Stevens was killed by Islamic savages, but not before he was raped burned and tortured for seven hours. "What difference does it make?" declaimed Hillary Clinton. A fair bit, if you're Stevens or one of the former SEALS who died there too. Well done, SECSTATE Hillary.

But there's another anniversary today which almost everyone has forgotten, the lifting of the Great Siege of Malta, on September 11, 1565. Since May of that year, the Jihad forces of the Ottoman Turks had attempted to overcome the island's small Christian garrison, under the command of the Knights Hospitaller and their courageous Grand Master, Jean de Vallete. 

Thanks to the resolute defense of the Island and the timely arrival of a relief force of knights led by Don Garcia, the Jihad army was routed and fled to their ships. Less than twenty years later, in 1571, the Islamists attempted to dominate the Mediterranean again, hoping to capture Rome and from there  on, Europe itself. They were decisively defeated at Lepanto. 

Perhaps we recognize the pattern. Islam, wherever it's practiced thoroughly, is at war with us, following in the footsteps of its founder, the warlord Mohammed. 

Our President, however, appears to be in a state of denial. The Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant isn't "Islamic", he tells us. So what are they then? Methodists? Parsees?

Don't be fooled,

LSP

Putin, the New Talleyrand?

Thanks to Drudge, everyone knows that Tony Brenton, former UK Ambassador to Moscow, doesn't see Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, as a land-grabbing, latter-day Hitler, but as a new Talleyrand. Here's an excerpt from his article in today's Telegraph:

"The 'we must stand up to Putin as we did to Hitler' line is pure schoolboy politics. Putin, of whom I saw a fair amount as UK ambassador to Moscow, is not an ideologically driven fanatic, but much closer to Talleyrand – the calculating, pragmatic rebuilder of his country’s status in the world." 

Talleyrand

You can read the whole thing here, but if Putin is a new Talleyrand, what does that make Obama? You know, the first LGBTQ President who's developed this smart strategy to defeat ISIS by, er, arming ISIS.

Pyramid Power?

Senior Defense Industry analysts have speculated that Beyonce, Jay Z and Obama himself, are in a bizarre "love triangle."

Perhaps the President's distracted.

Kick out the Jams,

LSP

Is Beyonce an Illuminati Puppet?

Is Beyonce an elitist limousine liberal, New World Order, Illuminati puppet? Good question, let's look at the evidence.

Illuminati Pyramid Power

The pop diva flashes secret Eye-in-the-Pyramid hand signs.

Baphomet Ring Beyonce

She wears a Baphomet Devil Ring.

Police State

Supports the NWO Police State.

Conspiracy?

Serves the Ruler.

Beyonce, talented pop superstar, or willing Illuminati stooge for the New World Order? You, the reader, be the judge.

Kick out the Jams,

LSP

Chickens in the Tree. The Anglo-Catholic Future?

"That's weird!" I thought, "There are chickens in this tree." Seriously, I'd no sooner sooner stepped out on the back porch when I noticed a largish white shape in my neighbor's tree. I walked up for a closer look and sure enough, it was a chicken. One of many.

Flying Bishop?

The chickens are roosting now, "better together", sleeping, high up in the tree. Lots of them. I didn't know they did that, but now I do.

Better Together

Perhaps you're thinking that this is some kind of metaphor for the Anglo-Catholic Movement. And maybe the chickens think they'll be safe, sleeping up there in the tree.

God bless,

LSP

Horoscope

Unlike Hitler, I'm against sorcery and witchcraft. But I have to make an exception for the Manhattan Infidel, who recently produced a Horoscope. Here's an excerpt:

Aries (Mar 21-Apr 20)

You don’t have to push yourself every moment of every day. But you probably should push yourself now. I mean run. You are surrounded by ISIS terrorists who want to cut your head off. And don’t hope to die a martyr. Unless you are a member of the press President Obama will make no mention of your beheading. You probably deserved it anyway you Christian! Your lucky number is eight. Unless you are about to be beheaded, in which case you don’t have a lucky number.

Taurus (Apr 21-May 21)

No. You are not a failure. Unless you have been captured with an Aries by ISIS terrorists and are about to be filmed having your head cut off. In which case, yes, you probably are a failure. Serves you right for being a Christian. At least you will die knowing your head was cut off by a practitioner of the religion of peace.™ Your lucky number is eight. Yes, we were originally going to give that number to an Aries but he’s been beheaded. So take it.

You can read the whole thing here.

Cheers,

LSP