Sorry, No Wommyn, No Liturgical Dance

Our Bishop visits the Missions tomorrow.

Normally, as Anglo-Catholic Anglicans, we'd be dismayed.

But not this time, this bishop is a Christian and a successor of the Apostles.

There will be no wommyn at the Altar and no liturgical dance. And there'll only be two genders, shockingly.

And that's just the way it is.

Sorry to disappoint you, 

LSP

Jefferts Schori, Episcopal Bishop or Two-Bit Space Alien?

Katherine Jefferts Schori is the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church (TEC). But we have to ask, is Jefferts Schori a bishop, or a no-account, two-bit, space alien?

Here's what Jefferts Schori had to say about the Islamic terror attack on the World Trade Center:

"I saw a pickup truck a couple of weeks ago with a waving American flag painted on its rear window. As I walked through the parking lot, I realized there was something written on the tailgate – the word ISLAM stood out first. Finally I saw the whole sorry slogan, “everything I need to know about Islam I learned on September 11th.” How will we change hearts that seem closed to learning more about peace?

"Are we willing to recognize and then proclaim that as children of Abraham, Christians, Jews, and Muslims share that vision of a healed world that Micah paints for us?"

Here's what people in Saudi Arabia were saying:

"Then we all knew it wasn't an accident. We heard sporadic yelling in the streets and happy shouts from Saudis in our own hospital. In the terminal cancer ward, patients were hooting and screaming “Down with USA,” much to the horror of the American nurses tending them."

Maybe the Saudis weren't, you know, Muslims.

And maybe Jefferts Schori isn't "off-world."

LSP

The Episcopal Church Loses in Quincy

As everyone knows, the Episcopal Church (TEC) is like the infamous Hotel California; you can check in but you can't check out. At least that's what TEC attorneys have been telling trial courts in those parts of America where traditionalist Anglicans have broken away from the litigious grip of the small but wealthy denomination.

I want your property and your money!

Today the Hotel California Offense was dealt a serious blow by an Appellate Court in Illinois, which ruled against the Episcopal Church and in favor of the Diocese of Quincy. According to Judge Orbtal, the Diocese was free to leave the Episcopal Church with its assets intact because its property was not held in trust for the Church. Also, the Episcopal Church's Constitution and Canons do not enforce a hierarchical structure on the denomination to which courts should defer.

I want all of it! The whole thing!

You can read the ruling here.

Give it to me.

Good news for the Diocese of Quincy and its Bishop, Alberto Morales, bad news for the LGBT pressure group called TEC. Similar lawsuits are ongoing in South Carolina and Fort Worth.

Or I'll sue you.

The Episcopal Church has spent an incredible $40 million suing traditional Christians. They refer to this as "holy stewardship."

Have a blessed Feast of St. James,

LSP

Mystery Billionaire Builds Huge Yacht

A mystery billionaire has built the world's largest yacht, leading some experts to speculate that the Episcopal Church's leaderene is looking for a quick getaway from her rapidly sinking denomination.

From over three million members in the 1960s, the Episcopal Church has shrunk to a mere one million members, but only 657,000 of these can work up the energy to turn up to church for Sunday worship. That number's shrinking fast, with some 50,000 members exiting the pews every year.

that'll bring 'em in

Maybe allocating $1 million of the shrinking church's $111 million budget towards "church planting" and $13 million towards legal costs, will help to bail out Episcopalian fortunes.

sorted

There is no line item item for shipbuilding in the Episcopal Church's triennial budget. Jefferts Schori is a keen boat person and a marine biologist.

Anchors away!

LSP

Steenson Loves Schori.

Steenson

The United States now has an Ordinariate in which Anglicans can convert to the Roman Catholic church while keeping elements of their heritage. The newly minted leader of the U.S. Ordinariate is Geoffery Steenson, former TEC (The Episcopal Church) Bishop of the Rio Grande.

In a recent article in The Living Church, Steenson had this to say about his former boss, litigious abortion advocate, Presiding Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori.

“One of the people I’m still very grateful for is Katharine Jefferts Schori. She was absolutely wonderful... I could not have asked for better pastoral care from my presiding bishop.”

Absolutely Wonderful!

Resisting the urge to say "let's all break out the cuddly toys and go hug a tree while trying not throw up," I congratulate Fr. Steenson on his new appointment. 

Someone's Parker Hale awesomness

All you need is love and a custom Lee Enfield.

I love Lees.

LSP