Well Done, Woodentop! Or, Kerry Goofs Again.

U.S. Commander in Chief, President Barack Hussein Obama, has launched a new weapon, an artificial intelligence, (AI) in his attempt to build a coalition of allies dedicated to overthrowing the non-Islamic terror group that mistakenly calls itself the Islamic State.

The Commander

Affectionately known to its clandestine DAARPA handlers as "Woodentop", the Kerry AI is a Fast Boat Class, experimental war android.

The Android

Since arriving in Turkey to cement an alliance against the brutal non-Islamic Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the lantern-jawed Kerry AI has stated that fighting an anti-terrorist war against ISIS is not, in fact, a "war."

ISIS Laughs

Instead, Kerry warned that military action against the Islamists that aren't Islamists is"a very significant counterterrorism operation" that will take "some period of time" and "have many different moving parts." 

Moving Parts, Woodentop?

Whether the Kerry AI's cognitive functions are solid state or contain moving parts is classified. After listening to the experimental android's arguments, Turkey has refused to let the U.S. use its airbases to strike at ISIS targets.

Since the Kerry made its "war is not war" statements, the White House has refuted its foreign policy android by announcing that it actually is at war with ISIS.

Confused? Neither are we.

Way to go, Woodentop. 

LSP

Putin, the New Talleyrand?

Thanks to Drudge, everyone knows that Tony Brenton, former UK Ambassador to Moscow, doesn't see Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, as a land-grabbing, latter-day Hitler, but as a new Talleyrand. Here's an excerpt from his article in today's Telegraph:

"The 'we must stand up to Putin as we did to Hitler' line is pure schoolboy politics. Putin, of whom I saw a fair amount as UK ambassador to Moscow, is not an ideologically driven fanatic, but much closer to Talleyrand – the calculating, pragmatic rebuilder of his country’s status in the world." 

Talleyrand

You can read the whole thing here, but if Putin is a new Talleyrand, what does that make Obama? You know, the first LGBTQ President who's developed this smart strategy to defeat ISIS by, er, arming ISIS.

Pyramid Power?

Senior Defense Industry analysts have speculated that Beyonce, Jay Z and Obama himself, are in a bizarre "love triangle."

Perhaps the President's distracted.

Kick out the Jams,

LSP