Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Church of England Gives Huge Yes To Women Bishops

Dance to the goddess

The Church of England's General Synod voted overwhelmingly in favour of women bishops, with one priestess, Canon Rosie Harper, arguing that failure to make women bishops would make the Church of England look "weird."

Canon Rosie Harper isn't weird, at all

"I would like to name the sheer weirdness of a community arguing about discrimination in the 21st century - people out there don't care enough to be angry but they do dismiss us as weird," stated Rosie.

Nothing weird about Schori!

According to Rosie, the weirdness of not having women bishops would hurt the declining Church of England's mission, "If we are serious about our mission, and I know this is a very basic point, we really do have to stop being weird," she told the Synod. 

Totally not weird

In a final appeal to normality, Canon Rosie concluded, "Stop being weird and vote yes."

Deranged

Well done, Church of England. With women bishops you won't be weird anymore and everyone will start going to church again. Next stop, Gay Marriage, which everyone knows is entirely normal.

Entirely normal

Good luck, Church of England.

LSP

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Rev. "Meth" Flowers, a Sordid Tale of Criminality and Vice

Rev. "Meth" Flowers

It can't be easy being a Labour Councillor, a bank boss and a Methodist clergyperson, so what do you do? You know, to relieve the stress? For Rev. "Meth" Flowers the answer was apparently simple, party on down in an orgiastic haze of coke, ketamine, rent boys and speed.

Speed

According to U.K. press, "Meth" Flowers used company email while he was Chairman of the Co-op bank to hook up with male prostitutes that he took on expensive dinner dates, before  drug-fueled gay threesomes. 

Coke


The paunchy moneyman was certainly up for it, "I knew what he did for a living and couldn't believe how debauched he was," stated one rent boy, Ciaron Dodd, 21.

"Special K"


While "Meth" was boss of the Co-op, the bank merged with the Britannia Building Society, taking on multi-million pound bad debt that came to light during its recent abortive attempt to acquire 632 Lloyds bank branches. 

Fail

The Co-op's debt rating has been downgraded to "junk" status, and the failed bank now stands to lose 70% of it's business to a consortium of buccaneering U.S. Hedge Funds, including Aurelius Capital and other investors. 

"Meth" 

"Meth" has been downgraded too and was suspended from the Labour Party, despite giving the improbably named Ed "FiddyK" Balls, Labour's Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, a donation of 50,000 pounds. 

FiddyK

Rev. "Meth" Flowers, who is under police investigation, is currently in hiding. You can read all about this sad and sordid tale of sleazy skulduggery here, here, here, and here.

Cheers,


LSP

Monday, November 18, 2013

Get That Franchi Instinct

Franchi Instinct L

GWB tipped up at the compound yesterday and before you could say "Archbishop Justin Welby's an Oil Shark!", there was an over and under on the mahogany. My philisophical friend had cleverly gone out and bought a Franchi Instinct L 20 gauge, and who can blame him?

Young Sharky

We took it out for a test drive today, rambling about in search of rabbits, who sensibly stayed under cover, and then slinging a box or so of skeet, country style. Just a lot of explosive fun and good practice. 

Old Sharky

I shot reasonably well, once I remembered to aim... and GWB was knocking the clays out of the air like a good 'un. But how did the Franchi perform? I took a couple of breaks from my cheap, but hey it works, Mossberg 835 Ulti Mag pump to find out.

Prince of Wales grip

I enjoyed shooting this gun; it's light, at 6.5 Ilbs, and comes quickly to the shoulder and to target.  I thought it looked good too, with traditional styling, case hardened finish on the receiver and no gaps between metal and wood. That said, the wood of the buttstock sits proud to the receiver by a millimeter or so, but I felt this was balanced out by well-defined, deeply cut checkering and A grade walnut furniture. Not a bad looking gun, but did it work?

dove feast

For sure, the Instinct functioned flawlessly over several hours of pretty much continuous shooting, with no misfires, failure to eject or mechanical problems. So that's alright then, but would I buy one? If I was looking for an over and under shotgun that costs $1149, yes, I think I would. 

The gun looks good, handles well and if you don't get carried away and forget to aim, it's perfectly capable of knocking the opposition out of the sky. Granted, it's not a $2000 plus firearm, but whoever said it was?

Shoot straight,

LSP


Friday, November 15, 2013

Borth

Borth

You may not know it but there's this small town in Wales called Borth. It's a short drive from Aberystwyth and seems to be pretty much controlled by older hippies who run all these overpriced junk antique shops, "galleries, and novelty cafes. Hippies are known for their thieving.


relaxing after a hard days thieving 

Borth also has sand dunes, which puts me in mind of Sting. Some people think that Sting's greatest cinematic performance was in Dune, others feel that he was even better in Brimstone and Treacle. But I won't judge, decide for yourself!

the genius of Sting

So go and visit Borth; it's just this little strip of hippie go-downs and a couple of pubs in a line facing the sea, right there on the Western edge of the Island.

edge of the world

Cheers,

LSP 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Brit Spy Found Dead in Bag

go on, try it at home

A British spy, Gareth Williams, was found dead inside a padlocked sports bag in an MI6 apartment in London. U.K.Police have ruled the death accidental. "Most probably it was an accident," stated London Police Deputy Assistant Commissioner, Martin Hewitt.

Gareth Williams was on secondment to MI6 from Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ), and lived in MI6 provided housing in London. 20,000 pounds of unused women's clothing and shoes were found in Williams' not-so-safe house. 

The spy's DNA was not found on the locked sports bag in which he died.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

LSP

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

South London Pikers

South London Pike

I used to live in South London, a very, very, very long time ago, in what the English romantically call a "Tower Block", in a place not so far from Peckham. Hipsters live in Peckham now, strangely. Regardless, last week I overcame the psychic barrier that is the Thames and travelled South of the River to Lewisham.

Looking South

Before I knew it I'd RV'd with some old friends, climbed into a "motor" and was speeding(ish) towards Catford. We stopped on the edge of a tranquil pond as the sun was setting and the fish were starting to jump; country life, right there in the metroplex. Beautiful; a couple of rods later and we were casting for Pike and they were striking -- on my friend's lure anyway.

R with Pike

Thanks, R, for the rod and reel action.

Fish on.

LSP


Thursday, October 31, 2013

Halloween


Skullmug

A church person once told me that Halloween was Satan's birthday. I tried to explain that it's just the Eve of all Hallows, the first night of the Triduum of All Saints, when Christians remember the faithful departed and the Saints. She wasn't buying. For her, Halloween was just a paean to Old Scratch.

This goof supports gay marriage because he's conservative, apparently.

Others think that Halloween isn't about the faithful departed, God, Satan, or anything else. They think it's Celtic. Some people have convinced themselves that the Celts were all about gay marriage, a bit like David Cameron but more tribal.

Scary As You Like

I won't comment, but I will leave you with a picture of a famous witch stateswoman; people are saying that she'll be President one day. Pretty scary, eh?

God bless,

LSP

Where's The LSP?!?

Good Old KLM

"Where's the LSP?" I hear you ask, in that worried, angsty kind of way.The answer's simple, Nairobi, London and now... Aberystwyth! "Aber" is a Welsh seaside town and a member of the famous rock band, the Scorpions, had a mansion here. He had to sell it when he started running out of ready money.


All Saint's Cathedral, Nairobi

Nairobi was interesting and made me want to go on a horse safari in the Great Rift Valley, which is the stuff of legend, mystery and adventure. You can do that for around the price of two return tickets from Calgary to Toronto, so I'm saving up. I liked the Anglican cathedral and the coffee, which was absurdly strong; useful if you're slaving away over a hot computer in the press room. 


Truculent

Then it was back to the endurance test that is modern air travel. When we got to Heathrow, via Schipol, the pilot announced that there'd be a delay while "Military Police" conducted a "security check." Two cops in flak jackets and machine guns boarded the plane; one stationed himself aft while the other advanced down the craft. He took an African woman off the plane. Hey. Welcome to England.


Someone, please, invite me on a horse safari.

That said, London was huge fun. The city's now home to all these novelty skyscrapers, which the comedic Brits have  given pet names to, like the Gherkin, the Shard, the Walkie-Talkie and so on. 


The Shard, built by Robot Hesse

The Walkie-Talkie's a menace and apparently caused fires during the summer by reflecting sunlight onto cars and trash, like a massive laser. Who knew that mad Sci-Fi Nazis had taken over Britain's architectural establishment?


Aberystwyth

Two days later I got to Aber. It was raining. I stood by the lighthouse and watched the waves crash into the pier.

More later.

LSP

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Government's Back!

And the Government's Back.

I see there's been some sort of deal, in which members of the government have voted to bring... the government back! Remarkable.

Who was it that said, "The turkeys keep voting for Christmas."

Illuminati Shill Bear

In related news, one of the little people in Miley's neat bear act left the stage "shivering and crying" because she was treated as "less than human", like some kind of fake bear. You can look it up on the internet if you doubt me.

Real Bear

Well, there's bears and there's bears.

Cheers,

LSP


Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Revelation & Morals

God

I apologize for the flippant shallowness of this blog, well, except for the posts about NWO shills like Piers Morgan, the Government (please stay shutdown), occasional UFOs and the usual "God, Guns, Church and Country Life" bit. All that's fine, but here's something serious to make up for the rest; it's from a talk given by a church member who argues for ethics based on the revealed word and holiness of God. A bit long, for this sound-bite of a site, but have a read:

"On the biblical view, a durable account of 'rights' requires something more than is provided by Thomas Paine or Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Succinctly, pace their successors, including John Rawls, a transcendent authority is necessary, an eternally dependable Giver of moral law, not least because merely human authority cannot provide the security of right relationship except in shifting, transient terms. The answer that Israel’s Revelation gives to questions about how to achieve a flourishing life is not merely, 'God said it,' but rather, if I may paraphrase, that God has disclosed something profound about his own nature in the Torah, namely that he is Holy, and he wills our participation in his health. His call to us to imitate him is detailed as it is because holiness of life – as distinct from knowledge of a right or definition of meaningful agency – must be a matter of sustained living practice. Moreover, and for the entire Judeo-Christian tradition this cannot be stressed too strongly, the commandment to be holy applies not just to individuals, but to communities. Biblical revelation offers no blueprint for political order, but something without which no political structure can be sustained, namely the moral authority of a higher ideal. It has thus political implications, and this is precisely the point in contention for successors of Paine and Rousseau, who wish to substitute another source of absolute obligation, namely government.

Thomas Paine

"Construing the goal of ethical standards as nothing more than an adequation of normative behavior, a kind of hyper-Baconianism, has become de facto the reflex of our current legal as well as political culture. If Hollywood is what most people appear to want, the Court will ensure that’s what all will get. If insufficient numbers want it, we will be scolded. Ironically, we have created thus a new absolute authority, effective not least because daily proclaimed by its own prophets, the media and entertainment industry. This oracular voice from the sky includes of course the “news,” which we consult each morning in order to learn what we are supposed to think. And do. And then encourage others to do. Nor is that enough; we are prompted almost daily to join in an obligatory chorus, celebrating those as courageous, even 'heroic' who invent a new, perhaps previously unthinkable 'norm.' Defense of notorious in-your-face performance vulgarities by third-wave feminists as 'body-positive' exemplify increasing pressures to approve public behaviors such as might repel a hog in rut. Other, less vulgar displays attempt to seduce by behavior re-enforcement into private imitations of the unholy, ad nauseum et ad infinitum. But can we ignore the enormous costs that have accrued to this sorry substitute for civic idealism?

Go Miley! 3rd Wave Feminism?

"Whether we consider the disappearance of moral authority as Hannah Arendt construed it, or believe the issue of moral authority to be inherently problematic, we cannot evade the evidence that consequences attend not only upon ideas, but follow in real time from actual moral choices made by cultures as well as individuals. 

"It would seem that 'breaking bad' implies the possibility of the good, of a return to health, even of “breaking good.” And something else, perhaps: unacknowledged exhaustion with the ‘conceptual morass’ of an ethic whose highest principle is ‘thou shalt not criticize thy neighbor.’ What if a gesture of fraternal correction might be the only life-line we have to offer our neighbor in the hope he or she may avoid self-destruction? Keep your opinion to yourself, say the courts and the media. In this paralyzing context, the ideal of holiness – namely that the most whole and healthy way of life available to us is by way of imitation of something far higher than ourselves – merits at least a review. Perhaps we might include the texts of ancient Israel in our humanities curriculum, with thoughtful attention to the relation between holiness and moral order as there articulated, not least in relation to the inevitability of consequences. If, as George Weigel says, we are now in a widespread civil war over the very meaning of the human person, then perhaps any hope for a restorative resolution of our crisis of cultural authority must come, as he says, 'from a reformed culture in which Jerusalem is once again linked to Athens and Rome in the foundation of the West.'

East Side Detroit, Shape of Things to Come?

"Reason without Revelation hasn’t been working all that well for us. Perhaps those of us who continue to value reason ought to move beyond serial post-mortem analyses of our cultural demise to a fresh consideration of the legacies and ideals of Revelation that have formed and sustained us in healthier times. We might begin by acknowledging that no higher ideal for moral order exists than that which asks us to regard self and neighbor as made in the image of God."

I like that and will link to the whole thing when it's published.

LSP

Saturday, October 12, 2013

TEC Loses. Quincy Wins.

Boy Bishop

The Episcopal Church (TEC) has been losing lately, and not just members! After defeats in Texas, South Carolina and Quincy, TEC's lost again in a rearguard spoiler action against the small Midwest Diocese of Quincy. 

After the Diocese of Quincy withdrew from the the Episcopal Church, TEC wasted no time in suing the recalcitrant trads in 2009 for all their money and assets. Part of that meant writing to the Diocese of Quincy's banks and getting $4 million of diocesan money frozen pending a legal outcome in the courts. The court decided against TEC this September, allowing the trad diocese to break free of TEC with its property and cash intact. But TEC isn't one to give up and filed a motion with the courts to keep diocesan money frozen. 

Nice

That was defeated earlier this month, when Judge Orbtal ruled that the Diocese of Quincy was the owner of its money. 

TEC has spent at least $22 million in litigation against traditionalists in the last 10 years. During that time the incredibly shrinking denomination has lost well over 1 million members and now has an average Sunday attendance of maybe 650,000 people. 

Down You Go

Some people would say that TEC's tanking. Others argue that it's going to make a come back, like Detroit, or a bad pop star.

Well done Quincy. 

God bless,

LSP

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Kwame Goes Down!

Kwame

As packs of wild dogs roam the once thriving streets of America's Motor City, former Detroit Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, has been sentenced to 28 years in the slammer.

Dog Pack

An estimated 50,000 dogs run wild in the streets of Detroit, abandoned by their owners and free to run through a city that's fast reverting to the wilderness from which it came. Now bankrupt, the nation's former automotive capitol is an urban wasteland of abandoned homes, blighted blocks and empty highways, with the few citizens that remain living in fear of savage dogs, crackheads and corrupt politicians.

Free Kwame

Part of the blame falls at the shackled feet of one-time Mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, a rising political star who sank beneath a sea of old-skool graft and coke-fueled parties at his mayoral mansion. 

Well Done, Government

Judge Nancy Edmunds, who handed down the lengthy jail term, accused the Kwame administration of "devastating corruption" and stated that "That way of doing government is over."

Get it On

Well you never know. 

I like Detroit but I don't see it "coming back." Sorry, hipsters.

LSP