Roving

"It's like Ibiza but, you know, country," I said, dialing up Magic Train of Remove Kebab to maximum volume. It was an Albanian bar in rural Texas and Remove Kebab just seemed right. Everyone agreed. 

"Like this song a lot, 'bout a train with guns. So where you from?"
"From England. I'm a pastor."
"Good to meetcha!"

It turns out we pretty much knew each other thanks to mutual friends and acquaintances, it's a small town; I like that, so much better than living in the plastic-sided splendor of the Metrosprawl. Then, after a quick blast of the perennial classic, Don't Fear The Reaper, I headed for home.

The streets were empty, apart from the occasional cat, slinking across the road and one or two wild dogs. They're a menace and you have to wonder at the genius of the people who abandoned them.

Back at the compound, I reflected on the town and the wisdom of the Baptists and Methodists who helped pioneer it. They cared for people and now their churches are large.

There's a lesson in that.

God bless,

LSP

Boxing Day MAGA

Have you noticed how much better Christmas was this year, as though a cloud of MillSoc (Millionaire Socialist) oppression had lifted from the land? We certainly did here in the Metrosprawl; no complaints.

The kids, who won't be kids much longer, woke up to stockings that included micro drones and almost fell over themselves with excitement. Thanks, LL, for the inspiration. Then we drove to Dallas to celebrate with the rest of the family.

I got a MAGA ornament to go with the PSG (Presidiential Snow Globe), which was pretty uplifting and some neat unicorn paraphernalia. Be magical, it tells us. Hard not too with America's popular and glamorous First Lady in the White House. Seriously, think of the alternative.

Nasty, right?  Unlike the neat boxing robots I got the kids. Perhaps you remember them from the '70s, Rock 'Em Sock 'Em; who knew these fighting 'bots were still being made. Perhaps they weren't and now they are, thanks to tax reform and putting America first.

'

With that in mind, all the best for the Feast of St. Stephen and as always, MAGA.

Happy Boxing Day,

LSP

All Lit Up And Ready To Go

Dallas HQ looks good, all lit up and ready to go. Saying that, the tree was bought at the last minute and needed some attention. Still, it glitters like Christmas should and its ornaments shine back at you like old friends. Beautiful.

Buying last minute presents in the metrosprawl in near freezing rain was less beautiful but Half Price Books came in handy. You're not allowed to carry a gun in Half Price, leaving you rather less than half safe; fortunately no one was shot by an outraged anti-Christmas Muslim while I was there. 

The Game Stop allowed concealed carry, I think, which is perhaps unwise. Think of all the gun toting parents getting ready to unload on hideously overpriced gaming consoles, the games themselves, controllers, add-ons and the whole nine yards of the very expensive, destructive to young minds gaming industry. Anyway.

Back at the urban compound all was well and the light shineth in darkness. What do I want for Christmas? A good double, a ranch and the unity of Christendom.

Light it up,

LSP

On The Road

I drove to a suburb of Fort Worth this morning. It took one and a half hours to get there, the worst of which was through the metrosprawl. Someone hasn't told the DFW civic planners that highways running through, across and over a town doesn't make for a pleasant urban environment. Visit Venice and see its famous 6 lane highway bisecting St. Mark's Square! said no tourist brochure ever.

Seriously, after a good few thousand years of Western civilization, you'd think we could do better than turn our cities into roads. Like, what's best to live in, a city or a road? Let's think about that; road, city, city, road, hmmmm... road? 

Road trip over, I ended up at the cathedral, which is a good church, and went to a meeting. A bishop who I like very much was there and had a parrot on his shoulder. It's an aggressive beast and attacks people who try to pet it.

At the end of the meeting I drove back home through the 'sprawl to the countryside. Blue Exertion was there, taking it easy in the sun and I don't blame him. 

Later on today I'll drive to another church and, by the end of it all, feel like a travelling salesman. But hey, all in a good cause.

If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it.

LSP

Stop Retreating

The Retreat came to an end and it was time to leave the gun free Jesuit Compound and head for Dallas. I won't comment on the spiritual benefits of the retreat, which were great, but I'm forced to reflect on the journey back to the Metrosprawl.

I35E

Those of you who have traveled along I35E towards the gleaming Ozlike towers of the 'sprawl and arrived, unharmed, at your destination have done a remarkable thing. You have gazed upon the face of Hell, and lived.

Hell

Seriously, it was insane driving, a 20+ miles slalom through massive construction at 80 mph. No lane markers, no signalling, just devil take the hindmost and hell for leather. Mad Max springs to mind. But there is a benefit.

Dallas

You get to see a city being built before your very eyes. There's something remarkable about that but please, civic planners, design the city for people not cars. That's what I say and I'm sticking to it.

God bless,

LSP

Take a Walk!

One of the benefits of living in a small rural farming community is being able to walk places. So what? You snort dismissively. So a lot; just you try and walk somewhere in one of America's metrosprawls. 

"I know," you think to yourself, "I'll walk to the shops." Think again, your city isn't built for walking or even for humans, it's built for cars instead.

The Broken Debris of Obama's America

That's not so true in older country towns, which were designed on a more human scale, and I like to take advantage of that, strolling out to the local Pick 'n Steal with Blue Defender after Morning Prayer. Or, for that matter, to Montes Mexican Diner.

This isn't Cheshire

I went down the latter route the other day, offering up the members of the congregations in prayer as I walked along the leafy boulevards of Olde Texas. 

A Typical Shack

Perhaps that sounds overly pious to you but I find walking and prayer tend to go together. There's something in it that stills the mind.

This isn't Kent

That said, there's plenty of mental space to take in the sights and reflect on the fact that this is Texas, opposed to Kent or even Cheshire. Then you arrive at Montes and everything's good. 

Tradition

I ordered Huevos Rancheros, I always do, it's a tradition.

Was I armed? Maybe.

LSP

It's a Wrap

Driving to the metrosprawl down the kamikaze Corridor of Fame, I35, is never fun but sometimes you have to do it. For example, perhaps you have to get presents for people, the kind of gifts you can't get at Walmart or the pawns.

NICE

So I took life in my hands, climbed in the rig and drove to Dallas on a quest for gifts. That meant a bookshop.

NOT NICE

North Park mall, insane traffic, a return to HQ and placing the carefully chosen items under the tree. I thought it looked good, Christmas style.

NICE

There also seemed to be a lot of presents this year, far more than usual. Why is that? The answer's obvious, there's a new sheriff in town. More gifts for everyone in...

#TrumpsAmerica

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

Yes, it's Bushcraft Wednesday and here we are, deep in the bush of the metrosprawl. Just me, Blue Unmentionable and a couple of .45s.

A Couple of Guns

What do two pistols have to do with the art of Bushcraft, you ask yourself, mystified. Simple, if you're charged by a predator out in the bush, you need something to defend yourself and a reliable sidearm can come in handy.

Alien Gear Works

The team favors Glocks and, today, a Beretta. Both great guns but I'd say the Glock has an edge because of its sturdy, workmanlike simplicity. Nothing fancy about that pistol and fewer parts to malfunction or go missing or break. A big asset in the bush.

The Simplicity of Glock

So listen up, bushcrafters. Invest in a reliable sidearm and keep it clean, I recommend the Glock 21. And while you're at it, check out Alien Gear holsters, for inside and outside the waistband carry. They work.

Blue Unmentionable

Here endeth the shameless marketing for Beretta, Glock and Alien Gear.

Your Old Friend,

LSP

Chrism Mass

With images in my mind of the Religion of Peace dropping rainbows, flowers and unicorns on the New World Order's capital city, Brussels, I drove to the Metrosprawl for our Chrism Mass.

It was good to be with the faithful priests and bishops of the diocese, even though there wasn't any liturgical dance, or womyn parading about in pointed hats. 

A Typical Scene in the Metrosprawl

That gang of misfits have been suing our diocese for the last 7 or so years because we declared UDI. They even set up an alternate diocese, with our name, as a platform for litigation.

That's not going too well for them and neither is cashflow, which is why they're asking the Episcopal Church for a subsidy of $750,000 to pay their clergy. It seems Texans aren't too keen on their version of church.

But Blue Liturgist isn't fazed. He's busy meditating on higher things, on the floor.

God bless,

LSP

So I Drove To Clifton

I drove out of Dallas for Clifton this morning, along an eerily deserted southbound I35. Northwards was a different story, as endless cars jammed into the metrosprawl.

Soon enough, I was heading down 219 into Clifton and I like that drive. The road winds along and then the ground dips away to reveal a westwards vista. My pictures never do it justice, but still, it's dramatic, especially if you're used to the endless flatness of significant parts of Texas. Everything looks weirdly lush and green at the moment; that will change soon enough.

Clifton is a well put together little town and worth the visit, if you're in the area. It has a decent Western Store, an excellent feed/tack store, and several restaurants and shops. It's not boarded up and reverting to nature, unlike other towns, which I won't name. 

But I didn't knock about the town, I just went to the funeral and paid my respects. The service was led by a young Lutheran pastor, who seemed a pleasant clergyman, although he kept saying, "Christ is Risen! Alleluia!" apparently in the hope that the mourners would respond, joyously, with, "He is Risen Indeed! Alleluia!" I know, it's Eastertide, but I could have done without that.

I drove back to Dallas and discovered that a rifle barrel had arrived, which was pleasing. My friends, who had been hunting in Clifton as I was at the funeral, managed to shoot a pig and some rabbits. Well done!

God bless,

LSP

Chrism Mass, 2015

I drove to Bedford today, which is a kind of suburb of Fort Worth. It's where our cathedral is and that's where we go every year for the diocesan Chrism Mass.

It wasn't good to drive through the metrosprawl, but I did like being with the clergy and meeting up with like-minded friends.

Blue Liturgical came along for the ride, and got looked after by the kitchen staff, while we ate lunch. He seemed to enjoy the adventure, and one senior clergyman told me that "you should never trust a priest who doesn't like dogs."

God bless,

LSP