Cooking With LSP -- Cyber Monday Pie

"Oh, cooking with LSP, where's that on the spectrum?" Good question. First things first, get a gun and put it on the table, I use a Glock 21 but that's just me. You might prefer a revolver, a Sig, a CZ or a Beretta. Up to you.

Next, boil up leftover beef bones or beef ends, the fatty, gristly stuff you don't want to eat. Add salt and pepper, you're making stock. Let it boil then reduce to a simmer for around an hour or so until the fat's rendering. You'll want around 2 cups worth.

While the stock's doing its thing, chop up an onion, a leek, a carrot or two and peel 4 or 5 cloves of garlic. Don't crush or mince the garlic, this isn't some kind of Macronite, faux Napoleon, globalist assault on traditional value. 

No, throw the whole cloves into the tin with the rest of the veg. Add olive oil and a few tablespoons of butter. Pour a cup+ of beef stock over the veg, then put that bad boy in the oven at 400* to roast. Why?

Because it'll taste good, trust me. Let the veg roast for around an hour, 'til it's starting to char, In the meanwhile, cube up some leftover roast beef, as much as you like, set it aside. 

Boil up a couple of carrots and set them aside, slice some mushrooms in half or leave 'em whole if they're small. Set them aside too. Well done, you're nearly there, so have a glass of wine or seltzer water, your choice. I chose wine.

Thirst assuaged, make a poor man's roux. I use 4 tbls of butter, flour, salt and pepper and a cup of milk+. Cook it up and behold the roux magically thicken, then pour in 1 1/2 cups of stock. Add more stock if needed, up to you.

Stir it 'round like a champion. Add the roast veg, beef, and mushrooms, stir and let simmer for a good 30 minutes. You'll see the roux change color from cream to brown. Such is cooking.

While the beast's simmering away and consolidating like a battle group about to go over the start line, roll out some pasty. I cheat and use pre-made and here's the orthodoxy; don't use puff pastry in a beef pie, use the other sort. But I like the rainbow riding puff, it tastes better. Whatever, your call.

Pastry rolled, pour the simmering awesomeness of beef and veg into a deep pie dish. Stand back and consider the completion of this phase of the advance. Perhaps play some baroque fanfares, up to you. Chivalric reverie over, don't say Agincourt, place the rolled out dough over the mix.

Decorate the in potentia pie crust with leftover dough, then glaze with egg white and put the whole thing in the oven at 375* for as long as it takes, around an hour.

Take it out, let it rest, and eat your scoff like...

A King,

LSP