Saturday, May 17, 2014

War Droid!

Far-sighted readers will recall that the U.S. deployed two state-of-the-art war droids to eastern Europe's troubled Ukraine, Senator John Kerry, affectionately known to its controllers as "Wooden Top", and Joe Biden, call sign Teeth. 

Teeth, What a Disaster

The replicants were tasked with a simple mission; stop, at all costs, the eastern region of the Ukraine from declaring independence and joining Russia. Now, following Wooden Top's dismal failure and Teeth's humorous at best underperformance, the U.S. has deployed a third battle-bot.

"Hunter" Biden, classified as Teeth Mk II, has joined the Board of Directors at Burisma Holdings, the Ukraine's largest private gas supplier.

Immoral Biden Class War Droid

Meanwhile, the U.S. military is spending over $7 million on a groundbreaking new program to develop moral robot AIs. According to Gizmodo:

Over the next five years, the Office of Naval Research is awarding $7.5 million in grant money for university researchers to build a robot that knows right from wrong.

A Fighting Monkey

As you know, I'm not a betting man, but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any four of your priestesses that the Office of Naval Research (ONR) will go over budget on this particular venture.

Good luck, ONR.



LL said...

Biden frightens me, but not for any of the war droid reasons.

LL said...

They need to put Joe in a home somewhere and he can eat the black checkers, thinking that they're Oreos.

LSP said...

Pretty scary, eh?