Catastrophe Averted

 

It started off well, very well, totally according to plan. Roll into Dallas, check on Ma LSP's property while she's on vacation in the Old Country and make sure everything's sound for her arrival. Simple, elegant, achievable. What a great plan. Then everything fell to pieces.

First off, where's my laptop? Not in the overnight duffle, not in the rig.  No, it was sitting safe and sound in the kitchen of the Compound and useless, even with modern tech, to me in the 'Sprawl. Fail. Attention to detail, LSP, and what about personal admin? Double fail.

You Little Gusher

But no big deal, work from your cell phone, such is progress. Fine, until the next day when it was time to mow the overgrown lawn. "What's this?" I thought over the hum of Ma's nifty electric mower, "Why is the ground so wet, rain?"

Wet as in fixing to become marshland. Hunh. Then lo and behold, not rain but a mini gusher by the pecan tree. I stared at it, Bloody Mary in hand, "It's only a small gusher, maybe we can leave it alone." No. Error. Little gusher became big gusher and the yard began to flood. So I poured a stiff one, got the water turned off to house and got on the line to plumbers.

Problem

They/he came out yesterday and got the job done, fixing a split water line with Sharkbite fittings and capping off a redundant sprinkler system in the process. Good work Tribeca, prompt, personable and at a reasonable cost. Give 'em a shot if you need emergency plumbing in DFW.

Solution

Net result? Water restored to the house and catastrophe averted. Thank God for that, Ma LSP can return home to a place that isn't flooded and has running water. Result. My carefully constructed plan? Shot to hell but you know what they say, improvise, adapt, overcome. Problem? Solution.

Cheers,

LSP

Rest in Peace

 

She was, without doubt, the real deal, and with her goes the passing of an age. Rest in peace, your Majesty.

LSP

Just Driving Along

 

There we were, just me and the young soldier driving around town in the beauty of a Texan sunset.

For some reason it reminded of long ago in Detroit. There I was, pretty much fresh off the plane from London, and there he was, an older, hard-bitten looking Brit. We were at a sales meeting, eating and making oblique credential pitches.

"Good to meet someone from the Old Country," I offered, "Used to be in the British Army." He looked me in the eye, "So was I." I'd figured that, cleverly, "What'd you do?" He took a bite off a California Roll, "Sold beans to the Saudis."

"That's interesting," responded a very junior LSP, mind like a steel trap, "I left to become a priest, maybe now a Roman Catholic priest."

"You did, did you? Say the Lord's Prayer in Latin then." Which I did. After adveniat regnum tuum he grinned and admitted defeat, "That's enough, mate."

We closed that deal, for used auto industry exhibit booths, curiously. There's money in those woods, though it wasn't for me.

I file this random story under "anything else I care to think about."

Cheers,

LSP

A Jolly Medley

 

Alright there, boys

Junior

Hey now

Cheers,

LSP

Sancs A Lot!

 

Everyone knows how the money laundering scheme in the Ukraine will rake in billions for our beloved Elite Overlords. But what about you, the pitiful serf? Here's a helpful infographic:

Yes, you're better off now because you've been taxed moar. And by all means disagree, go right ahead, and get raided at 3 am by our loyal Federal Stasi. Speaking of which, do you remember how the Soviet Union banned prayer in its schools? Not like us, at all. Whatever, go on Great Britain, take one for the team.

All hail our Hellscape Overlords,

LSP

Jail Them

 

We're aghast, here at the Compound. Why are the traitor, extremist, brazen Fascists who dared slur the family of our beloved Leader allowed to walk free? Why haven't they been swatted, why hasn't there been a 2 am door kick-down?

Good question. Just look at them, those grey haired seditionists, literally standing there on a bridge in Dallas and waving flags as if they were patriots. How stupid and, let's be honest, evil. If they were patriots they'd be loyal servants of our rulers, obviously, but no, they willfully choose to ignore this like the extremists they are. Surely the Democrat Gestapo FBI will catch up with them.

Speaking of catch up, sanctions against Russia appear to be doing just that in the EU and the Sceptered Isle herself. Old Continent serfs, prepare to pay all your paltry income on electricity and gas bills, or eat, up to you. And as your industries shut, your shops close and you yourselves shiver in darkness, raise a salute to our beneficent rulers. 

Their money laundering demands your sacrifice. After all, those private jets, yachts and seaside homes on Martha's Vineyard don't come cheap.

Hail Biden,

LSP

ALL HAIL MOLOCH

 

Behold our Demented Overlord. 

And his sigil.

Remember, gentlemen and gentlewomen, it's all a larf 'til you wake up and a demon's eating through your pal's thigh, to say nothing of sitting in the Oval Office.

Doctor Dee forever,

LSP

LCS

 

That is all, and then some,

LSP

Mexicans On The Roof

 

Never a dull moment at the Compound. Today we had Mexicans on the Roof? Why? Because the roof over the church hall was rotten and had to be replaced and the Hernandez crew gave us the best deal. So off they went, crashing and banging and nailing from 0800.

Not that I'm complaining, those boys work hard, for a realistic price and sure enough, they'd removed rotten shingles and laid a new set by end of play. Of course they wanted a check for fiddy percent on completion.

Well, they'll get get that tomorrow morrow morning. And what a good gang, hard working, polite, quick and hey, they got the job done at a good price. Were those boys wearing gold crucifixes? Yes they were, and I like that too.

So here we are, new roof on and all the better for it. Beto, on the other hand, is suffering from MillSoc MonkeyPox. Count your blessings as you find 'em, eh?

Rule Britannia,

LSP

What An Epic Loser

 

what a rich dumbass

Yes, we're talking about Beto. No so much a politician as a failed faux/mex sandwich. Millionare socialist Beto, net worth $6,667,013, is sick with a bacterial infection, monkeypox?, and can't campaign no more.

no one's ever even liked you, Beto

Oh dear, what a disaster, said no on ever. Beto's famous for marrying money and then spending it on his pathetic, loser, dime bag attempt to seize power and get even richer. But zhe keeps on losing. 

here's Kasich, yet another sandwich fraud

Far-sighted readers may remember the Kasich, another two-bit sandwich attempt at power. Imagine the scene, there you are in some beastly suburb of Philly, "I'll have a Kasich lite anna Beto, hold the mustard." Checkout stops, a pause, "You wanna discount for your two losers?"

I rest my case,

LSP

The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down

 

No thanks to the beasts, Grant and Sherman. At the checkout counter, "Where you from?" Boy, "10th Mountain." Moment of reflection, "From the North?" Quick as a flash, "You calling me a dam Yankee?" Pause, "Nossir, but he's from England."

He looked at me, full of war, but we were at peace, "That's different," he grinned, and so it was.

Rise up Southron,

LSP

Go Green

 

How awesome it is to go green and save the planet! said every infantile 16 year old girl ever. But hey, good call, here's an infographic:

go green serfs

Europe deindustrializes? Hurray! Yes, back to the plow and the furrow. And how ya gonna heat your house? By chopping wood? How very heimat. But it's worth it because Ukraine. Don't get me wrong, by all means go back to hunter gather status but if you do don't complain when the Russkies and ChiComs rule.

shocking bad taste

Whatever. Curry here at the Compound while we still have electricity, light and meat, chicken. Then we'll go green, just like all those other seaside millionaires on Martha's Vinyard.

Your Eco Friend,

LSP