Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Archbishop of Wales Caught on Camera!



U.K police were baffled by footage of the Archbishop of Wales, Barry Morgan, flying 1000ft above the Bristol Channel.

Stunned coppers thought the object, which was emitting "black heat," was a UFO until magnification revealed Archbishop Barry Morgan.


The Archbishop of Wales, captured on police helicam for 7 minutes

"We thought it was a Chinese lantern or a balloon," said one police source, "But its black heat ruled that out. It turned out [to be] Barry Morgan. He bobbed around in the air for about 7 minutes before disappearing."


Barry Morgan

Morgan has been the focus of investigation by UFOlogists after saying that the Bible supported gay marriage.

The dramatic footage of Barry Morgan was captured by thermal imaging cameras on a police helicopter at 9.30 pm.


Police have appealed for help

Barry Morgan did not show up on local air traffic control, leading to speculation that the Welsh bishop is using off-world technology.

Police have appealed to the public for further eyewitness accounts of the rogue prelate.

Cymru am byth,

LSP


Monday, September 26, 2016

Weak Wonky And Weird



OK. The greatest debate the world has ever seen is over. Who won? Opinion at the Compound was that DJT came over as reasonable, as opposed to mad bomber, and that Hillary came over over as weak, wonky and weird.

But why, we ask, is Fox giving Hillary such positive coverage? Surely Megynne isn't partisan for Hillary?




Central message? You inside-the-beltway gravy-trainers, guess what? You've messed up, badly, and you're being called to account. Hillary, that means you.

Watch DJT surge in the polls.

LSP

In The City

So Where's this so-called "Ghetto"? Oh yeah, here it is.

Some say, unless they're determinists, that life is made up of a series of freewill choices. That's true for human beings and perhaps it's true for cities also. For example, Dallas had a choice, once. "Am I going to be a city, or a road?" It opted for road.

I was reminded of this today, as I drove across Dallas to visit a friend on the M Streets. I RV'd at his place and we set upon some low and slow pulled pork like there was no tomorrow. I tell you, that pork was as tasty as you like and better. 11 hours in the cooking and worth every minute.


On The Road

After the delicious pig it was time for some firearms show and tell. Some neat wealthy elite shotguns, a nice Winchester 70 30-06 and a Desert Eagle all featured. I'd never handled a Desert Eagle before, what a canon. Are they made out of re-purposed car parts? I don't know, but I like the myth.


A Book

Then books. "Do any of you read Latin and Greek?" asked my friend. "I'm an expert," stated GWB and I replied that I was "a bit rusty." Too bad, because M Streets was giving away a stack of the stuff, but you had to be able to read them. As it is, I settled for some translations. Thanks, Penguin Classics.




So that was that. Thanks for the hospitality, M Streets. A return match at the Compound is definitely in order.

And now for the debate.

LSP 

Sunday, September 25, 2016

Torrential Rain and Mammon



Driving to the second Mass of the day was a bit of a deal because of torrential rain. Who wants to hydroplane across HWY 22 in the downpour? So I took it slow and wore a pair of Wellington boots to keep my 1% inside-the-beltway loafers dry.

In the sacristy I pointed to the boots and asked our MC, who's a renowned bronc champion, if he liked my "new church shoes." He shook his head.

"It's not that bad out there."
"Well c'mon, it was pretty much zero-viz coming up from the compound."
"Look. I'm not interested in your sad little stories, LSP."
"Yeah, said the rich man. You can't serve God and Mammon."


Wellingtons

And that's what the sermon was about, with reference to Dives and Lazarus. Note that the former isn't named in the Gospel, he's nameless and accordingly not written into the book of life. "I do not know you," says Christ, elsewhere, and, "Depart from me ye cursed, into the lake of eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you did not feed me."


A Random Fish

No, the rich man was too busy enjoying the mammonistic gravy train to love God or his neighbor and accordingly found his way to perdition, which is separated from heaven by a great chasm.

Don't Worship This

Some say the god of our age is Mammon. I'd think twice before you pledge allegiance to that particular deity.

God bless,

LSP

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Diocese of Toronto Flies Over The Rainbow

Appalled

The Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) flew over the rainbow this week, electing its first ever openly partnered gay bishop (OPGB), Keith Robertson. Robertson will serve as one of three Suffragan Bishops in the Diocese of Toronto.


Speaking after his election, Robertson stated that he would work for the "peace and unity" of the church and that he would be "a bishop for the whole church."

The peace and unity of the church is really important to me and I will work to continue that peace and unity as a bishop... I think LGBTQ clergy and lay people might naturally gravitate towards me looking for some leadership around the issue of full inclusion, but I absolutely see myself as a bishop for the whole church, including people who have a very different view of things than I do. I'm their bishop, too."



Well that's just it, isn't it; you're not our bishop. Bishops are centers of Apostolic unity in the church and that's exactly what Robertson is not. He can't be a bishop for the whole church because his OPGB lifestyle puts him outside the communion of the church, making him a locus of disunity and schism rather than unity. 

This means that Toronto's new Suffragan, despite good intentions, acts as an anti-bishop who will serve to further fragment the already scandalously divided Body of Christ. 


A Rainbow Unicorn

So well done, ACoC, for bravely flying over the rainbow and away from the church you claim to be a part of.

Be sure to dodge the unicorns on the way up.

LSP 

Friday, September 23, 2016

Mix it up, Fool!



Everyone's bored of "the usual spot" and stories of Bluegill rising from the depths and into the fry pan, and I don't blame you. It's been samey. So, with an eye on adventure, I went to the other side of lake Whitney dam, to the spillway, to see what was up.




I'll tell you what was up, SeaWorld. A brief recce from the top of the riprap told me there were plenty of fish in the channel, and in the pool beneath the fishing pier. Big Gar, up to 4' long, maybe larger, sizable catfish, suspended in wait of prey, schools of young Sand Bass darting about and who knows what else. Just all kinds of fish, visible through the technology of a pair of polarized Ugly Stick sunglasses. Cheap, maybe $10 at Walmart.




Excited at the prospect of catching a monster, I cast off with a light rod, 12lb test, a treble hook and a worm, weightless (WWR). Natural presentation and no resistance rules, says fishing wisdom. Well, let's see about that, I thought, cynically.




Kaboom! No sooner had the worm begun to sink than something hit it like a Rhodesian Light Infantry flying column. Thrash! Drag out! Rod bent double, and remember, it's a light rod. Then up came a Gar; they're gentle giants, for all their ferocious prehistoric teeth, and this was a young one. Back you go, my friend.

Just for kicks, I moved down the pier and cast off by the wall of the dam. There were big Catfish lurking in the depths, you could see them, and who knows, maybe they'd be interested in the weightless worm rig.




After a few minutes waiting, what cost patience?, something most certainly was. The fish tore out into mid-pool and dived ferociously for the bank, then back again. A fighter. This went on for maybe 5 minutes, which seemed like the 10 seconds of forever, until the fish was finished. I reeled him in. A Catfish, not a monster, but not far off, either. 




An hour or two later, Striper, Black Drum, and more Catfish than I could be bothered to count struck the WWR and came in. Pretty much every cast a fish, and good ones, too. If I'd had a cooler, well, there'd be a big fish fry tonight.




As it is, a couple of fat Bluegill are about to hit the pan.

Fish On,

LSP

B-Dog Under Investigation



Blue Congressman, who goes by B-Dog on Kik, is under investigation. So far authorities haven't found anything incriminating.


No Kik for B-Dog

Perhaps that's because he doesn't have thumbs, or even fingers, which makes it hard for him to use the Kik app.


No iPhone?!?

Or an iPhone. And, of course, he's been "done."


T-Dog

Some observers believe that T-Dog is "done" too, but that's a different story altogether.

Your Old Pal,

LSP


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Tranquil



They say that at the Mass, or the Eucharist, please don't say "Yewkrist," time and eternity intersect as the sacrificial act of Calvary breaks through into the present moment, uniting us with the redemptive love of Christ. His Sacrifice becomes our sacrifice, however imperfectly, and finding atonement in Him we glimpse, fleetingly for sure, the peace which passes all understanding.


Just Some Goon With his Hand up a Puppet

Of course that doesn't happen at a Clown Mass, I thought to myself bitterly, casting off in search of Behemoth Bluegill. And there's a whole lot of something that passes all understandng when the liturgical dancers kick off, and some priestess goons around pretending to be something she doesn't even believe in anyway.


Nice Little Fryer!

Then the reverie was broken by a fish plowing into my hook and the fun was on. A nearby kid asked his dad why I was catching fish, "Well, he's got worms!" It's true, I did, and after reeling in Leviathan, I gave them a couple and a hook. "Thank you, sir, you're a gentleman and a scholar," said the Father; he was keen for his boy to get a fish, and so was I. He did, too, with a little patience.

You know, I think there's something pretty good about a Father and his son, or sons, out on the water fishing. 

As the sun set, I headed for the Compound, tranquil. And that was that.

LSP


Reporters Attacked in Charlotte!



Rioters attempted to throw an NBC affiliated reporter on a fire last night in downtown Charlotte, prompting some observers to ask, "What, only one? Try harder."



But seriously, would the networks change their narrative if more of them were attacked by Boosie Badazz fans? While you ponder that, you can listen to Lil Boosie here.




In other news, Hillary's on video shouting, "Why aren't I 50 points ahead!" Simple answer, "Because you're terrible."

Carry on,

LSP

The Charlotte Cook-Off



Everyone's seen the pictures and videos of Charlotte cooking off because a black cop with a gun shot a black thug with a gun. But that's not how the Soros funded looters saw it.

Keith Lamont was a "peaceful family man," who was "disabled" and guilty of carrying nothing more deadly than a "book" when he was shot.




Maybe Lamont's peace-loving nature was a contributing factor in being sentenced to 7 years in prison, in 2005, for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Or his conviction in 2004 of a misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon. And what about that "book"?




Some people say it looks an awful lot like a gun. But what can we say? Obviously another case of an unprovoked attack on academia.

Ferguson, Baltimore, Dallas, Milwaukee, Charlotte and on. 

Well done, Team Obama. Epic fail.

LSP


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

The Feast of St. Matthew



It's the Feast of St. Matthew, who was a publican and a bad sinner who got the call. Here's the Collect:

O ALMIGHTY
God, who by thy blessed Son didst call Matthew from the recipt of custom to be an Apostle and Evangelist; Grant us grace to forsake all covetous desires, and inordinate love of riches, and to follow the same thy Son Jesus Christ, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.




Now, there's a right way to worship God,




And a wrong way.

You decide which is which.

God bless,

LSP

Satanic Temple Moves to Salem. Go Figure



The Satanic Temple, led by Lucien Greaves, aka Doug Mesner, is setting up shop in America's witchcraft capital, Salem, where the devil cult will occupy an attractive Victorian house.




“The history of Salem is also part of the history of Satanism, I feel that [Salem] is a very appropriate place for this,” stated Mesner.




The Satanic Temple boasts 40,000 adherents. How many of those are Episcopal bishops and members of Hillary's campaign team is currently unknown.




Note well: The Satanic Temple's brazen idol, Baphomet, is trans.

Out demons, out,

LSP