Friday, September 23, 2016

B-Dog Under Investigation



Blue Congressman, who goes by B-Dog on Kik, is under investigation. So far authorities haven't found anything incriminating.


No Kik for B-Dog

Perhaps that's because he doesn't have thumbs, or even fingers, which makes it hard for him to use the Kik app.


No iPhone?!?

Or an iPhone. And, of course, he's been "done."


T-Dog

Some observers believe that T-Dog is "done" too, but that's a different story altogether.

Your Old Pal,

LSP


Thursday, September 22, 2016

Tranquil



They say that at the Mass, or the Eucharist, please don't say "Yewkrist," time and eternity intersect as the sacrificial act of Calvary breaks through into the present moment, uniting us with the redemptive love of Christ. His Sacrifice becomes our sacrifice, however imperfectly, and finding atonement in Him we glimpse, fleetingly for sure, the peace which passes all understanding.


Just Some Goon With his Hand up a Puppet

Of course that doesn't happen at a Clown Mass, I thought to myself bitterly, casting off in search of Behemoth Bluegill. And there's a whole lot of something that passes all understandng when the liturgical dancers kick off, and some priestess goons around pretending to be something she doesn't even believe in anyway.


Nice Little Fryer!

Then the reverie was broken by a fish plowing into my hook and the fun was on. A nearby kid asked his dad why I was catching fish, "Well, he's got worms!" It's true, I did, and after reeling in Leviathan, I gave them a couple and a hook. "Thank you, sir, you're a gentleman and a scholar," said the Father; he was keen for his boy to get a fish, and so was I. He did, too, with a little patience.

You know, I think there's something pretty good about a Father and his son, or sons, out on the water fishing. 

As the sun set, I headed for the Compound, tranquil. And that was that.

LSP


Reporters Attacked in Charlotte!



Rioters attempted to throw an NBC affiliated reporter on a fire last night in downtown Charlotte, prompting some observers to ask, "What, only one? Try harder."



But seriously, would the networks change their narrative if more of them were attacked by Boosie Badazz fans? While you ponder that, you can listen to Lil Boosie here.




In other news, Hillary's on video shouting, "Why aren't I 50 points ahead!" Simple answer, "Because you're terrible."

Carry on,

LSP

The Charlotte Cook-Off



Everyone's seen the pictures and videos of Charlotte cooking off because a black cop with a gun shot a black thug with a gun. But that's not how the Soros funded looters saw it.

Keith Lamont was a "peaceful family man," who was "disabled" and guilty of carrying nothing more deadly than a "book" when he was shot.




Maybe Lamont's peace-loving nature was a contributing factor in being sentenced to 7 years in prison, in 2005, for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Or his conviction in 2004 of a misdemeanor assault with a deadly weapon. And what about that "book"?




Some people say it looks an awful lot like a gun. But what can we say? Obviously another case of an unprovoked attack on academia.

Ferguson, Baltimore, Dallas, Milwaukee, Charlotte and on. 

Well done, Team Obama. Epic fail.

LSP


Wednesday, September 21, 2016

The Feast of St. Matthew



It's the Feast of St. Matthew, who was a publican and a bad sinner who got the call. Here's the Collect:

O ALMIGHTY
God, who by thy blessed Son didst call Matthew from the recipt of custom to be an Apostle and Evangelist; Grant us grace to forsake all covetous desires, and inordinate love of riches, and to follow the same thy Son Jesus Christ, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.




Now, there's a right way to worship God,




And a wrong way.

You decide which is which.

God bless,

LSP

Satanic Temple Moves to Salem. Go Figure



The Satanic Temple, led by Lucien Greaves, aka Doug Mesner, is setting up shop in America's witchcraft capital, Salem, where the devil cult will occupy an attractive Victorian house.




“The history of Salem is also part of the history of Satanism, I feel that [Salem] is a very appropriate place for this,” stated Mesner.




The Satanic Temple boasts 40,000 adherents. How many of those are Episcopal bishops and members of Hillary's campaign team is currently unknown.




Note well: The Satanic Temple's brazen idol, Baphomet, is trans.

Out demons, out,

LSP

We Out Like Taliban



After a strangely peaceful Indian summer lull of a few weeks, it seems that America's back to normal, with terrorist attacks that aren't terrorist attacks committed by a Muslim who isn't a Muslim, and a race riot that isn't a race riot cooking off in Charlotte.




"We out like Taliban!" shouted one rioter. No, you're not out like Taliban, you're out like a crew of out of control, ghetto thugs looking for the nearest Walmart to loot. And it looks like they found one.

A Typical Taliban With a Looted Daisy Red Rider BB Gun

As one noted ironist observed, "Walmart looted of flat screens and iPads? #Justice." The cause of the shooting? A black man with a gun was shot by a black policeman with a gun. Which black life mattered most?

You decide.

LSP


Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Get Out And Fish



The international readership of this popular mind blog aren't slow when it comes to editorial advice. "Hey, LSP," they say, "Less God and more fishin'!" It's a very good thing, then, that I was able to swing by the lake today on the way back from visiting the sick.

I set up on the bank opposite my usual spot because I was looking for adventure and sure enough, there were plenty of fish cruising the submerged limestone bank. Hopes up, it was time to cast off with the tried and true weightless worm rig (WWR), but the fish were slow to bite, perhaps because it was pushing 100* in the shade. Still, a few took the bait and before long I'd tallied up a decent little catch of Bluegill.




But what I really wanted was a school of leaping, blitzing Bass to come into the shore, and the chance to get on them with topwater lures. Good action when you can get it and the backup rod was ready for just that, rigged for the surface with a Heddon Tiny Torpedo. True to form, the fish were jumping about 100 feet off the bank, would they get any closer?


Looking Over Yonder at the Usual Spot

The question was called by a couple of young Lakesters, "Y'all caught 'nyfish?" and I  told them I had. "You bet, Bluegill, but look at that, jumping Bass. Set up for topwater." Right at that moment the line bent low and something fierce took the worm and started to run, I love that feeling, fish on! And it was, another Bluegill, but a good one. I reeled him in. "Nice Perch," said my new fishing friend and walked down the bank with his pal to try their luck.




That didn't happen for them and before long they were doing backflips off the bluff and "singing" country rap. I scorn country rap and moved away in search of a better spot. A few casts later, something hit my worm like a miniature freight train, and lo and behold, out came a baby Bass. A ferocious little thing, and that's put me in mind to go after his larger cousins.




With apologies to the "Less God Brigade," I thank Him for the opportunity to get out to the glassy waters of the lake and the chance to fish under the big Texan sky. There's peace in that and excitement, too, when the fish are on.

Tight lines,

LSP

Skittles



Well, would you?

LSP

Urban Dog Hell Strikes Dallas


A deep growl came from the other side of Shaniqua Roland’s front door.
She was pregnant at the time and headed to a doctor’s appointment, but she knew she couldn’t leave the house. Not with the dogs back.

No, that's not some low piece of satire from the dark bowels of the internet, it's the urban dog hell of Dallas, south of I30.  Smart residents keep their Heelers on a leash a Glock close to hand. At least that's our practice at HQ Northern Command.


A Typical Dog Pack

You can read the whole unsettling story here.

LSP

Monday, September 19, 2016

Will Solar UFO Save Hillary?



Remarkable footage shows what appears to be a UFO, orbiting the sun. Experts are speculating that the mysterious object is "sucking energy" from the sun to power Hillary Clinton's flagging efforts to win the White House.

According to one UFOlogist, video footage "shows three long appendages protruding from a main object. It also shows a fourth arm… That is more than two times long as the higher arms. All four arms are solid objects, not trails. 


Orbiting UFO

"It's sucking energy from the star to beam back to Hillary. She needs the extra power."

Hillary recently told a rally in Philadelphia that she was "discouraged" and "depressed."


“Now of course, politics can be discouraging,” stated Clinton to supporters at Temple University, “This election in particular can be down right depressing sometimes.”


Low Energy


Maybe that will change when the mystery starship begins sending badly needed solar power  to Hillary's faltering low energy campaign, but some observers aren't convinced.


Down Right Depressing

"It's just a piece of space junk left over from Jeb!'s dismal campaign," said one source on the condition of anonymity. "All the sun energy in the solar system couldn't save him and it won't help her, either. She's just low power. Maybe she's drained by the 'Oh Shit guy' and the ongoing email disaster."

Useless space junk left behind by Jeb!, or desperate hi-tech experiment to save Hillary's bid for power?

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Hillary Blames Trump For NYC Terror Bombing



Presidential hopeful, Hillary Clinton, wasted no time in blaming Donald Trump for terror attacks in New York and elsewhere, calling him an ISIS "recruiting sergeant."




So what does that make Ahmad Khan Rahami, a Trump supporter? In related news, a radicalized member of the LGBTQ community, dubbed "Pepe the Queen," (PTQ) has claimed responsibility for the Chelsea terrorist blasts.




“I did it because I cannot stand society. […] I cannot live in a world where homosexuals like myself as well as the rest of the LGBTQ+ community are looked down upon by society," stated PTQ in a Tumblr blog post.

Harambe declined to comment. DJT continues to climb in the polls.

LSP