Ascension

Listen up, you lot. It's the Feast of the Ascension today so you'd better get to Mass. Here's a prayer, and none of your newfangled nonsense, either:

GRANT, we beseech thee, Almighty God, that like as we do believe thy only-begotten Son our Lord Jesus Christ to have ascended into the heavens; so we may also in heart and mind thither ascend, and with him continually dwell, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Ghost, one God, world without end. Amen.

It's also Cinco de Mayo and the commemoration of Mexico's great victory over the Frenchmen. I'd say that was cause enough for a double celebration.

God bless,

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

So you're out there in the bush, using your craft, and you need an axe. In fact you need a battle tomahawk, but you can't climb into the Audi and run off to REI, or wherever, and buy one. That defeats the point, because Bushcraft is all about doing it yourself, without supermarkets, overpriced gear stores and Nanny State looking over your shoulder. So what do you do?

Forge a WAR-HAWK out of an old ball peen hammer. Here at the Compound, we're delighted to share this useful how-to video from Becker Forge.

Throw that Axe,

LSP

Bronze Age, Behold Your Chieftain

"So you have the water, you have the steaks... You have the wines and all of that."

Trump stormed through Indiana like a Bronze Age Chieftain, crushing Cruz by 16 percentage points in his landslide victory. Cruz has dropped out of the race and it's reported that Kasich will end his bid for the presidency today, leaving Trump the presumptive GOP nominee. But can the billionaire businessman beat Hillary?

If he loses it won't be for lack of opportunity. Hillary isn't liked, she doesn't resonate with people, there's an air of entitled, political insider-elite, smug dishonesty that hangs over her like a cloud. Even her own party isn't excited by Hillary and no wonder, there's no charism in her campaign, but there is plenty of strident, hectoring, shrill ambition. And then there's the scandals.

Clinton Foundation cash, Benghazi and the video set-up, Servergate and the missing emails, Whitewater, the Clinton body count and on and on. And she's under investigation by the FBI and facing a possible indictment. None of this makes Hillary look good, in fact it makes her look bad; the optics are dismal.

Now that Trump's seen off his GOP opposition he can start on Hillary, and like any Bronze Age Chieftain, it's a safe bet to say he thrives on red meat. There's no shortage of that in the form of the Democrat frontrunner's malfeasance, perceived or actual.

Of course she might be in prison before it's all said and done, which means a slugout with Bern.

Stay tuned,

LSP

The Worker's Friend

This is a 39 year old out of work coal miner, Bo Copely, asking Hillary Clinton how she was going to be his "friend":

"When you make comments like 'we're going to put a lot of coal miners out of jobs' these are the kind of people that you're affecting, this is my family. I just want to know how you can say you're going to put a lot of coal miners out of jobs, and then come in here and tell us how you're going to be our friend."

To which Hillary replied:

"I don't know how to explain it."

ZeroHedge puts it nicely, "We can't say we're surprised by any of this, as just like the financial elites that run everything, political elites also have realities that are significantly disconnected from everyone else."

Use pitchforks, torches, the FBI, whatever, but please, somehow, put the Harridan in jail.

Kick out the JAMS,

LSP

What's it to be Germany?

Europe, and Germany in particular, is presented with a choice. Do you want this?

Or do you want this?

Or is there a middle way, an Anglican via media, that runs through the House of War? History argues otherwise. That aside, I'd argue that the left would prefer Islam, such is their hatred of the Faith from which they were born.

Chesterton wrote about it in the Flying Inn, and while you reflect on that, ponder the Pentagram in the COEXIST logo.

Your Friend,

LSP

There's a Tranny in the Bathroom!

Presented without comment except to say, thank you, LL.

LSP

Church of England Godparents Liturgy. Happy May Day.

The venerable Cofe has come out with a new worship ritual for Godparents. Here's an excerpt from part of it, "Making Connections," which is a kind of confession. Pay attention to the "manual acts":

Sometimes we forget God who is with us every step of the way on our journey in life. Let’s say sorry to God for all those times and ask him to forgive us and help us. 

[Invite everyone to hold their hands open in front of them]
For all the times we have forgotten those who reach out to help us
Lord have mercy
All: Lord have mercy

[Look down at or touch feet]
For all the times we have not tried to follow Jesus
Christ have mercy
All: Christ have mercy

[Place hands over ears]
For all the times we have not listened to those who need us
Lord have mercy
All: Lord have mercy

I like "Look down at or touch feet," but that's just me. And that's not all, there's a Talk.

Talk about how hard is to learn or experience something new without any help. Having someone with you who is even a little ahead makes it more interesting, makes it easier, and makes it more enjoyable. Even better sometimes is a group exploring together. In the story from Acts the people of Macedonia wanted to discover more about Jesus. In those days they couldn’t just send a text – letters took weeks to arrive. So God intervened and a message came to Paul through a dream.. Come and help us. When we start to walk the journey of faith we need help too. And that’s where godparents come in – they can help us with all kinds of different things. They made big promises when we were baptized and over many years play a special part in our lives. Get people to read a few ideas from the Memory Wall.

What is this "Memory Wall"? Here's what you'll need:

Large sheets of paper eg lining paper on a roll or a large sheet with the heading “Memory Wall”; felt pens for directly writing on paper/fabric OR post-it notes and pins Four large cards each with one of these phrases: Being There; Part of the family; Good choices; Sharing faith; Yellow and white ribbons and two ‘prayer trees’ eg places where ribbons can be tied [optional] Heart shaped chocolates or carnations or godparent/godchild badges [available from www.churchprinthub.org] to give away [optional] Before the service: Place the paper or fabric somewhere accessible. As people arrive invite them to either write directly or use the post-it notes a memory of their godparent/godchild. If you are really organized you could begin this a couple of weeks before and also get people to bring along photos to create a ‘memory wall.’

It's suggested that this liturgical expression of infantilism is accompanied by music, whether "live or recorded." See above video and remember, it's all a larf until you wake up in a Wicker Man, and it's on fire.

Some Priestess Goofing Off

And in case you think I made all this up, think again.

Happy May Day,

LSP

The Church of England Found Snooping, in Wisconsin?

A Wisconsin man claims to have seen the Church of England snooping around his house in Monona, Dale County.

The anonymous Wisconsinite saw the Church from a reflection in his window. “It was in the reflection of the room," he said, "while my back was turned. It apparently sneaked from hiding to staircase. My father was asleep in a different room.”

By the time the man turned around the Church had gone, leaving "no trace." However, the Monona resident was able to describe the small denomination as being 4' tall, balding, with a small mouth and large alien-like eyes. The humanoid entity was reportedly wearing a "blue one-piece with no belt." 

However, some experts disagree. "I've seen the drawing and it's clearly not the Church of England," stated one pundit, "It looks a lot more like the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby. You can tell by its glasses, head and grey-like features. He might have been sneaking about for money or food."

Why the Church of England or its leader, Archbishop Welby, have been sneaking through houses in Wisconsin remains unknown.

Monona, Wisconsin, has a population of 8,000.

LSP

Elk Hunt Bear Wrangler

I was talking to a friend, I ride out at his ranch, and he started telling stories about being a guide on elk hunts in the Rockies.

They'd go in on horseback, set up camp in the mountains and then hunt for elk. My friend's job was to make sure the horses were all online. He liked it well enough because he loved horses and the wilderness, but sometimes they didn't just get elk, they got bears.

Millionaire Socialist Taken by a Bear

A bear would attack out of the forest and have to be shot, either you or the bear. When that happened, they'd clean the bear and put the skin on a pack horse. No easy thing, because the horses didn't like having a bearskin on them. The trick of it, apparently, was to get them used to the smell of the bear. And so they rode out, bear, elk and whatever else, through the mountains.

"I didn't know you were a bear wrangler, old chap," I remarked over a beaker of vintage port at the club. "Well I was," said my friend, sipping an ice tea because of his Baptist nature, "Yes indeed. Some of these boys that'd come out to shoot elk were from Dallas and not too fit. In fact they were pretty fat, which comes from sitting behind a desk all day and no exercise. And they'd get up there and have a heart attack. Honest to God, every year it's a deal, elk hunters getting a heart attack."

Chastened by reference to lack of exercise, I arranged for a ride next week and, to be honest, I'd like little better than a week or so's go at it in the Rockies. Bear and all.

Your Old Buddy,

LSP

There's a Peacock by the Woodpile

This small farming community managed, somehow, to survive last night's storm, and so did the neighbor's peacocks.

Last Night's Sheet Lightning

One of them was over by the woodpile when I got back from some church work this morning. It's one of two and perhaps before too long there'll be a serious peacock operation here. Lord knows, the town could use a growth industry.

Hope 'n Change didn't seem to make that happen and the Government's wondering why people aren't too happy about that. 

I mean to say, what's wrong with you? You may not have any money and there's no real jobs to speak of, but you can get a gay marriage and a sex-change while shopping at Target. 

C'mon, everybody, lighten up,

LSP

Another Storm

Thunder shakes the house as lightning sheets across the sky and rain lashes down; another storm. I watch the enraged fury of the elements from the comparative safety of the front porch. 

And such is the new normal, here in Texas. Storms, rain, flooding, the Eschaton. Speaking of which, here's an apocalyptic prophecy from Sr. Lucia, one of the Fatima children. She wrote to Cardinal Carlo Caffara of Bologna:

The final battle between the Lord and the reign of Satan will be about marriage and the family. Don’t be afraid, because anyone who operates for the sanctity of marriage and the family will always be contended and opposed in every way, because this is the decisive issue. However, Our Lady has already crushed its (Satan's) head.

The storm is intensifying. Whether and to what extent anything will be left of this bucolic farming community in the wake of the flood remains to be seen

LSP

Is Ted Cruz Satan?

Is Ted Cruz Satan?

Is John Boehner an Oompah Loompa shill for the New World Order?

LBJ buys pants.

That is all,

LSP