Sunday, May 1, 2016

Church of England Godparents Liturgy. Happy May Day.

The venerable Cofe has come out with a new worship ritual for Godparents. Here's an excerpt from part of it, "Making Connections," which is a kind of confession. Pay attention to the "manual acts":

Sometimes we forget God who is with us every step of the way on our journey in life. Let’s say sorry to God for all those times and ask him to forgive us and help us. 

[Invite everyone to hold their hands open in front of them]
For all the times we have forgotten those who reach out to help us
Lord have mercy
All: Lord have mercy

[Look down at or touch feet]
For all the times we have not tried to follow Jesus
Christ have mercy
All: Christ have mercy

[Place hands over ears]
For all the times we have not listened to those who need us
Lord have mercy
All: Lord have mercy

I like "Look down at or touch feet," but that's just me. And that's not all, there's a Talk.

Talk about how hard is to learn or experience something new without any help. Having someone with you who is even a little ahead makes it more interesting, makes it easier, and makes it more enjoyable. Even better sometimes is a group exploring together. In the story from Acts the people of Macedonia wanted to discover more about Jesus. In those days they couldn’t just send a text – letters took weeks to arrive. So God intervened and a message came to Paul through a dream.. Come and help us. When we start to walk the journey of faith we need help too. And that’s where godparents come in – they can help us with all kinds of different things. They made big promises when we were baptized and over many years play a special part in our lives. Get people to read a few ideas from the Memory Wall.

What is this "Memory Wall"? Here's what you'll need:

Large sheets of paper eg lining paper on a roll or a large sheet with the heading “Memory Wall”; felt pens for directly writing on paper/fabric OR post-it notes and pins Four large cards each with one of these phrases: Being There; Part of the family; Good choices; Sharing faith; Yellow and white ribbons and two ‘prayer trees’ eg places where ribbons can be tied [optional] Heart shaped chocolates or carnations or godparent/godchild badges [available from] to give away [optional] Before the service: Place the paper or fabric somewhere accessible. As people arrive invite them to either write directly or use the post-it notes a memory of their godparent/godchild. If you are really organized you could begin this a couple of weeks before and also get people to bring along photos to create a ‘memory wall.’

It's suggested that this liturgical expression of infantilism is accompanied by music, whether "live or recorded." See above video and remember, it's all a larf until you wake up in a Wicker Man, and it's on fire.

Some Priestess Goofing Off

And in case you think I made all this up, think again.

Happy May Day,



LL said...

I'm relieved to say that my previous statements that C of E has become a wiccan-based organization have been completely vindicated by the Arch Bishop and the coven that he's operating with sodomites, freaks and witches.

Anonymous said...

Why not just do the hokey cokey? - at least everyone knows the words and movements already.

It is going to make the Godfather films interesting - lots of overweight Dons trying to see their toes let alone touch them.

Adrienne said...

Who dreams up this childish gibberish?

LSP said...

It seems that way, LL. What tends to happen is that the Gaia radicals power through their agenda for change and what's left is a mawkish backwash of incomprehensible drivel.

LSP said...

Reach down, touch toes, Anonymous. On second thoughts, I think I'll pass.

LSP said...

A priestess called Dr. Sandra Millar is responsible for this latest bit of liturgical excellence, Adrienne.

And think, 2000 years of Western spirituality, art and music expressed in worship has come to this. Well done, team.

Fredd said...

Looks like the C of E doesn't ever open their suggestion box. Rather than these stupid histrionics, my prior suggestions would really put butts in the pews:

* Goat sacrifices, nothing says you love the Lord like a good ol' fashioned goat sacrifice.
* Speaking in tongues. Great entertainment value.
* Taking up of serpents, nothing says you love the Lord like waving poisonous snakes over the congregation (other than goat sacrifices, of course, see above).

LSP said...

Thanks for the suggestions, Fredd, and you may have noticed that LL has an interest in snake handling churches. I'm not saying that he's a member of one; it could well be "research."