You're Fired!

Well, almost. High flying Episcopal Church lib bishop, Stacy Sauls, has been placed on "administrative leave" by Presiding Bishop Michael Curry because of "possible misconduct." Curry wrote the following:

I need to inform you that on Wednesday I placed on administrative leave Bishop Stacy Sauls, Chief Operating Officer, Samuel McDonald, Deputy Chief Operating Officer and Director of Mission, and Alex Baumgarten, Director of Public Engagement. This is a result of concerns that have been raised about possible misconduct in carrying out their duties as members of senior management of the Domestic and Foreign Missionary Society.

Sauls is notorious for bullying and not believing in the Bible, Hell, or Satan.

Sure about that last bit, Stacy? 

Good riddance.

LSP 

Breakfast, With LSP

They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and here's how I like to do it. 

Salt and pepper a steak, then heat up an iron skillet until it's smoking hot. Throw the steak in the skillet, a minute a side. Stare in awe at the sizzling steak, then put it in a 400* preheated oven for 3 or 4 minutes.

While you're doing that, fry up some eggs and mushrooms in butter. Take the steak out of the oven, and let it rest for a few minutes as the eggs finish off. Don't bother to check your privilege, it's not necessary.

Then eat your scoff, like a warrior.

And that's breakfast, with...

LSP

Putin Gives 12 Year Old Girl Adorable Puppy

Russian strongman, Vladimir Putin, made a 12 year old girl's dream come true, when he sent her an adorable husky puppy as an early New Year's present.

Little Olga Marushenko wrote the Russian President, saying that she dreamed of having a puppy and promised to work hard at school if she got it.

“I promise to take good care of the puppy because it’s my big dream - to own a husky. And I promise to study hard,” wrote the 12 year old in her letter to Putin.

The letter touched the President's heart and he ordered the head of the Republic of Khakassia to give Olga a husky puppy.

Vladimir Putin is a dog lover and owns a grown up Karakachan Bear Dog. He has commanded Russian forces in Syria to "immediately destroy"any threats.

Kizmet.

LSP

Gwyneth Paltrow Illuminati Dupe

She was robbed.

File that under Entertainment.

LSP

El Nino Calls Out ISIS

Notorious weather bandit and cartel kingpin, El Nino, has threatened ISIS leader, Al Baghdadi, after ISIS interfered with a drug shipment.

“You [ISIS] are not soldiers. You are nothing but lowly p*ssies. Your god cannot save you from the true terror that my men will levy at you if you continue to impact my operation."

Al Baghdadi

“My men will destroy you. The world is not yours to dictate. I pity the next son of a wh*re that tries to interfere with the business of the Sinaloa Cartel. I will have their heart and tongue torn from them.” El Nino said in an email, cartelblog.com reported.

El Nino is on the run, after escaping from a maximum security prison in Mexico, and is popularly known as "Shorty."

It seems a new front has opened in the war on ISIS, but who will win? Shorty, or Baghdadi?

The bets are on,

LSP

Dallas Peace Temple Funds Terror Shocka

The Dallas Central Peace Temple, in Richardson, has been named an "unindicted co-conspirator" in America's largest ever terrorism financing trial.

Via Breitbart -- "A north Texas mosque, near the home of “Clock Boy” Ahmed, was named as an unindicted co-conspirator in the largest terrorism financing trial in United States history. The judge found there was ample evidence that the mosque, the Islamic Association of North Texas, assisted the Holy Land Foundation in funding millions of dollars to a Palestinian military terrorist organization [Hamas] that has killed Israeli children."

A mosque? Funding terrorists? What can we say.

Shocka.

LSP

Texas Gold

We don't know where we'll end up, under the Divine Providence, in the grand lottery of life. Some find themselves in Detroit, others languish in Hipster Hackney, or Aberystwyth, which is a small crabbing community on the Welsh coast. Some, the lucky ones, land in Texas.

A Typical Texas Street Scene

And I'm not complaining; it has guns, horses, dogs and porches, it has Karen's Authentic Mexican Food, and the people are friendly too, mostly. It also has big skies and a sense of freedom, provided you don't mess up and live in Austin, but even that den of iniquity is better than Washington, Chicago, Philadelphia, or the so-called state of Delaware.

So count your blessings if you live in Texas, and thank God for His beneficent mercy. Rumors that the local Shamrock Pick 'n Steal filling station, in this agricultural haven that I'm writing from, sells watermelon flavored "blunts," may, or may not, be true.

God bless,

LSP

It's Bushcraft Wednesday!

What with Daesh and associated misrepresenters of Islam, like Ummah Merkel and the RAF, perhaps you've forgotten it's Bushcraft Wednesday. So here's some Bushcraft wisdom, to set the record straight.

Black Powder Rules,

LSP

The RAF Goes To War Against ISIS, Chocks Away!

Not to be outdone by the German Luftwaffe, the fabled RAF has gone to war against ISIS, bringing fury, pandemonium, outrage and anguished hand-wringing to Britain's peace-loving populace. But perhaps the Eurolib, shariasymp left don't have to worry. According to the bellicose Daily Telegraph:

Britain’s full might consists of 16 strike aircraft, only ten of which can actually drop all the weapons we possess. In the six days and seven nights since MPs voted to authorise action on Syria, we appear to have carried out two raids and dropped a grand total of 14 bombs.

Rumors that the RAF only has 20 bombs in its arsenal and that its 16 "strike aircraft" are vintage Sopwith Camels, are unconfirmed. 

Chocks Away!

LSP

Radical Islamists And The Women Who Love Them

Time's Person Of The Year

Good luck Germany. Your Leader is a dhimwhit.

ISIS laughs.

LSP

The Essence of Islam

Everyone's scratching their heads and wondering about the essence of Islam. Is it a violent war religion that drives its adherents to go out and kill people at pop concerts and Christmas parties, or is it a philosophy of peace?

Jeh Johnson, US Secretary of Homeland Security, has come to the rescue, speaking at a mosque in Virginia.

"...The overwhelming, overwhelming majority of American Muslims, and Muslims worldwide, are men, women and children of peace, who seek to live their lives in peace, and want nothing to do with terrorism. Anyone who does not understand this does not understand Islam. The very essence of the Islamic faith is peace. The standard greeting As-salamu alaykum is 'peace be upon you.'"

Islam

Now we know, the very essence of the Islamic faith is peace. I guess that's why Mohammad was such an advocate of non-violent resistance against, I don't know, the Khaybar Jews, for example. It's probably why he defined non-Muslims as living in the House of War and never led an army in his life. Ever.

The Prophet x10

Jeh, for your invincible dhimwittedness, you get an outstanding 10 out 10 coveted John Lennon Heads.

Salaam.

LSP

Germany Fights ISIS

ISIS Laughs.

LSP