U.S. — Law enforcement officials with the Federal Bureau of Investigation were overjoyed this morning to discover the nation's most dangerous domestic extremists had helpfully labeled themselves with a strange black "X" on their foreheads.
"Wow. This makes our job so much easier," said FBI Domestic Extremism Investigator Chet O'Grady. "This morning our field offices across the country reported they had observed hundreds of people arriving at various suspected extremist locations, where some strange guy wearing robes marked them with ashes on their foreheads. Now we have thousands more suspects to monitor this year. Jackpot!"
The bizarrely marked potential insurgents will be monitored for terrorist activity, such as attending school board meetings and praying outside abortion clinics. "These sickos are capable of anything," said O'Grady. "America can rest assured that we will be watching them very closely."
At publishing time, the FBI had nabbed several suspected terrorists at a local church basement fish fry.
What can we say, those dangerous domestic terrorists get everywhere. The Vatican is working in full cooperation with the ongoing investigation.
Thanks for the tip, Swankenstein.
Your Friend,
LSP
11 comments:
LOL, yep, self identity is GOOD...
Really funny...but here's the unfortunate rub: That entire "domestic terrorist" bravo sierra was another smokescreen...everything from media and government is a smokescreen. The approach BY OUR OWN GOVERNMENT is to attack in vulnerable soft belly places (aka tyranny) in order to keep the eyes off them (aka flashlight off the cockroaches hiding in the corners).
God have mercy...because many of us mortals won't.
Tsk, tsk. They even indoctrinate their children. Sometimes to the point they set up private schools!
What a useful marker. The FBI has a similar one - 666.
“I have little interest in ‘streamlining’ government, nor in making it ‘more efficient,' for I mean to reduce its size.
I do not undertake to ‘promote welfare,’ for I propose to extend freedom.
My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them.
It is not to inaugurate new programs, but to cancel old ones that do violence to our Constitution, or have failed their purpose, or that impose on the people unwarranted financial burden.
I will not attempt to ‘discover’ whether legislation is ‘needed,’ before I have first determined whether it is Constitutionally permissible.
And, when attacked for ‘neglecting my constituents’ interests,’ I shall reply that I was informed that their main interest is Liberty, and in that cause I am doing the best I can.”
Barry Goldwater, 1962
NFO, the Bee used to be satire, now it just reports the truth.
Good call, Paul.
It's just outrageous, WSF. STAMP THEM OUT.
Snort. If I was drining, LL, I'd have choked on m'claret.
*drinking
What an excellent quote, RHT.
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