Tuesday, September 21, 2021

The Feast of St. Matthew The Apostle


Not only is it beautifully cool in north central Texas and even rained, miraculously, but it's also the Feast of St. Matthew. We all know how Matthew was converted and went from being a wicked tax collector to a holy man of God, an Apostle. Less well known is the great saint's mission to Ethiopia, in which the Apostle confronted two sorcerers, Zaroes and Arphaxat.

Zaroes and Arphaxat were in the habit of secretly enchanting people, causing them to be immobile and then, cunningly, curing their paralyzed victims. It's possible that the adepts used magically conjured snakes in these acts of occult chicanery, regardless, they were hailed as Gods by the incredulous and doubtless made a lot of money.

Matthew, no stranger to fiduciary malfeasance, occult or otherwise, saw through Zaroes and Arphaxat's trickery and went out to meet the sorcerers. These mountebanks of the dark side proceeded to set their two dragons on the Apostle, who promptly put the reptilians to sleep. A 13th century Legend describes the encounter:

Then said Matthew to the enchanters: Where is your craft? Awake ye them if ye may; and if I would pray our Lord, that which ye would have committed in me, I should soon execute on you. And when the people were assembled, he commanded the dragons that they should depart without hurting of any, and they went anon.


Needless to say, the dragons went on their way, Matthew preached a remarkable sermon, the occult mountebanks were thrown in prison, and the Apostle retired to the Queen of Ethiopia's palace. Yes, the enigmatic Candace was his patroness. 

He then raised the king's son from the dead, converted the nation, and was promptly martyred by the king's successor for challenging the monarch's sexual immorality. How dare you take the Virgin Ephigenia?

The evil king then imitated Herod, beheaded the Apostle and burned Ephigenia alive. Perhaps conscience got the better of him, as the Legend tells us he "slew himself with his own hand by the sword." Our friends Zaroes and Arphaxat survived, curiously, and fled to Persia. 

Their spirit is evidently alive, well and kicking. Just ask any country whose money is an IOU at interest to a privately owned bank. 

St. Matthew, pray for us and vanquish the sorcerers and their dragons.

God bless,



LL said...

There are a lot of sorcerers in the US Congress. Today we call them lawyers. Shakespeare had a solution for lawyers...

Mike_C said...

"ask any country whose money is an IOU at interest to a privately owned bank"

Noticing things is badthink. Noticing this is a Hate Crime.

LSP said...

Yes, LL, he most certainly did.

LSP said...

Mike C, shouldn't you report yourself, IMMEDIATELY.