Cuddle Party -- WARNING GRAPHIC

Thanks to Brietbart's reporting on the Cuddle Industry, we know that cuddle parties are booming, comforting people everywhere who are traumatized by President Trump.

A Typical Cuddle Party

According to professional cuddler, Anastasia Allington of Austin, Texas, cuddling is all about space.

I started thinking about why it would be that people would seek out this service after this particular election and I think it has a lot to do with space. We walk through our days and we wear all these hats: mother, sister, employee, then something like this happens where, for many people, they felt bereft and the world doesn’t stop. In the cuddle space, you can be where you are with whatever emotion you’re feeling and no one has any expectations of you.

 Cuddling

I won't comment about space but, No one has any expectations of you, are you sure, Anastasia? Regardless, here's some furries, cuddling.

Cuddlespace is centered in San Francisco and Austin. The number of Episcopalian and Church of England clerics who cuddle is currently unknown.

God bless,

LSP

Country Life In Texas

Country life in Texas is usually, for me, all about shooting, riding, fishing and a bit of hunting but this summer's been different.

It's been about getting a young 'un enrolled in High School, into the football team and its preseason workouts, getting his vaccinations up to date, finding employment for the fellow, you can't be hanging around here all day in bed and if you do you've got another think coming type of thing.

And generally readjusting to being a full-time parent again after many years. To say nothing of recovering from a rib injury, which puts a damper on the sporting life. 

So there's not been much getting out in the field, apart from walking Blue Aggressor through packs of stray dogs to the local pick 'n steal, but that's not to say the operation has ground to a halt, far from it. Also, one of the Missions was dealt a bad blow in the sudden loss of its Senior Warden, a fine Christian lady. May she rest in peace. 

And there you have it, a fascinating snapshot into the vagaries of LSPland and I tell you this. I'd rather be wrangling with all of it in the country than in one of our dismally failed, social experiment urban hellholes.

I file this exciting report under Country Life In Texas. 

God bless you and God bless Texas,

LSP

Detroit 5 Felons And A Bishop

In shocking news that's surprised nobody, half of Detroit's mayoral candidates are convicted felons, and one of them is a Bishop, Justin Welby.

Welby, leader of the worldwide Anglican non-communion, is well known for favoring the erstwhile automotive capital's pawn shops and filling stations, where he attempts to boost the dwindling CofE's "bottom line" by selling church regalia and favors. 

However, unlike other candidates for the lucrative job of Mayor, Welby isn't a felon, even though he worked for ELF Oil before he became a clergyperson. Other candidates have extensive rap sheets.

According to The Detroit News, candidate Marie Pitts, 58, was involved in a shootout over car repair and convicted of "assault with intent to do great bodily harm, less than murder, in the shooting involving the shop owner as well as a firearm offense."

Welby, who does not have firearms convictions, is vociferously in favor of womyn bishops and welcomes transgenderism. 

Mantids may or may not control the Big House, Lambeth Palace.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

Prince Philip Hero Of A Time

Prince Philip, at 96, has retired after a final engagement as Captain General of the Royal Marines. He served with distinction in the Navy during World War Two and retired as a Commander in the early 1950s.

Here's the Old Buccaneer in a Bearskin

Inspecting the troops

Gauging up the Magic Messiah

In a British Warm

Sporting a topper

About to abuse a journalist, and who can blame him?

For me, Prince Philip rises up out of the mist like a man from another age and he is. His generation were raised at a time when Rule Britannia was more than an amusing song in the Albert Hall. The qualities of an Empire were writ large in them.

Indomitable arrogance, perhaps, but lest you forget, how much more preferable than our near-invisible, satanic, transnational elite.

Well done, Prince Philip, you're a hero.

LSP

The Best Ads Ever!

Team LSP never sleeps, which is why we're able to present you, the reader, with these neat street ads, straight from the streets of London itself, the erstwhile Capital of the greatest Empire the world has ever seen. 

Have a look.

Not too keen on men!

Better stand stalwart for all the oppressed interior designers and womyn politicians, pop stars, CEOs and models.

Hetero Male Supremacy? Nein Danke.

Lesbyterianism? Different story. That's very Paris Commune, womyn-up the barricades and storm the Winter Palace.

So we have to ask, who designed this genius, Madonna?

We are the small axe, you are the big tree, we're going to cut you down.

Cheers,

LSP

Melania Mondays!

Like Fortuna herself, White House Communications Directors come and go but one thing remains constant. That's right, Melania Mondays! bringing you uplifting news of America's glamorous and popular First Lady. 

Melania's not been idle, far from it. The former Yugoslavian model has sparked a tourist boom in Slovenia, inspired children, encouraged interns at the White House and booked a trip to Canada, where she's set to lead the US delegation at the Invictus games in Toronto.

Melania Looks Kindly At Wintour

Not shabby, and even Vogue, the world famous transsexual magazine, is so impressed that it's praised Melania for defining First Lady style. But that's not all.

According to the ever-reliable NBC, the First Lady's "disgusted" at Mooch's language and who can blame her? Well done, Melania, for taking a stand for decency and professionalism; after all, it's the White House, not a scene from Good Fellas.

Thank you, First Lady, for continuing to do your part to make America great again.

MAGA,

LSP

The Best Story You Never Heard In Your Life

Do you remember the bizarre narrative, read lie, that claimed Donald Trump and his associates were secretly in the employ of the Kremlin? That they were Russian spies, recruited by the chief of KAOS and SPECTRE, Putin himself.

You know, the same faked-up PR witch hunt spin that was put out by Hilary's handlers and their allies in the lying, corrupt, elite media without a shred of evidence. All for what? To save Hillary's losing face at the risk of another Cold War, and so what if the tactic wrecks the country's governance, it's worth it to make your enemy, the President, fail.

Well, you've all heard of karmic lashback and that seems to be on full supply right about now. Or, to put it another way, Boomerangski.

Who was it that supplied the phony Trump Dossier, apart from a British spy, and why were the notoriously criminal, blackmailing Awan brothers given top-level IT clearance at massively inflated rates, and allowed to stay on the job till the very last minute? Surely they didn't have any dirt on their Democrat Paymistress, Debbie Wasserman Shultz, and friends. 

Regardless, the bogus Kremlins fairytale is dying a natural death and its cheerleaders are sloping off into the dark like dogs trying to avoid a beating. But well done, Democrats, your skulduggery and malfeasance has served to destroy cooperation between Russia and America. Too bad, we could have worked together to destroy the Islamist savages.

So much for the peace dividend; saving the optics of Hillary's ignominious and well-deserved thrashing at the polls was apparently worth it for you, our inside-the-Beltway professional ruling class.

Rumors that top Democrats are Crowleyite ritual Satanists are entirely with foundation. And don't mention the pizza.

Of course the lying, corrupt media aren't reporting any of this, making it the best story you never heard in your life.

Stand by the JAMS,

LSP

Kid Rock For Senate

Motor City pop legend, Kid Rock, is running for Senate and he's a big hit with Michigan voters, crushing puny GOP rivals and leading Democrat Debbie Stabenow in the polls.

Kid Rock is getting his fans to register at his pop concerts. He has a lot of fans.

Debbie Syabenow has fans too. She was "with her." That didn't go so well.

Kid Rock isn't very politically correct and favors the Stars and Bars, and Stripes, hunting, fishing and the military. He's also uncomfortable with two dudes getting married but "not opposed" to it.

Can't all be perfect all of the time.

Good luck, Kid.

LSP

Epic GOP Fail, Loser Remix

It's official, the GOP is useless. Despite majorities in both houses, despite a mandate from the country at large, despite campaigning on the promise, these buffoons can't get it together to repeal Obamacare.

The Democrat clowns that brought us this hated, failing, tax masquerading as healthcare are doubtless laughing, and who can blame them.

Of course none of our wealthy ruling elitocracy have to pay the tax or use its so-called services, they're exempt. 

John McCain has a brain disease. 

I pray he recovers.

LSP