Where is the Kaiser's Army? Oh, it's in Chile

 

Where is it, that goose stepping machine of Edwardian military precision. In Germany? No, please don't laugh and cough into your drink. England? Don't be silly, the UK doesn't even have an army, despite its bellicose posturing. No, the Kaiser's Army is alive and well in Chile, that'd be South America, check it out:

Zu Befehl,

LSP

PS. why are any of these people wearing medals? Have they fought in some war we're unaware of? Ah, the Great War of life itself. Waged against the Weather? And transphobia?

What Did Cleopatra Look Like?

 

Cleopatra continues to fascinate after two millennia. What did she look like, this fabled woman who seduced not only Julius Caesar but also Mark Antony, and bore them both children? Was she beautiful?

Popular imagination and the halcyon silver screen portray Cleopatra as a seductively winsome Egyptian Queen in the style of Luxor or Giza. In today's enlightened and decolonized movies she's depicted like this:

such idiocy

Who knows, maybe Julius Caesar was attracted by her glittery Ukrainian eye makeup, perhaps Mark Antony was captivated by the Nubian side of things. But no, hardly. Cleopatra, Κλεοπάτρα Φιλοπάτωρ, "Cleopatra the father-beloved" was Greek, a Macedonian Ptolomy, and she looked like this:

bust portraits of Cleopatra and Julius Caesar, 1 C AD (Berlin)

Beautiful? Not conventionally, but she had power, you'll note her diadem. In that vein, she was utterly ruthless and didn't shy scared of having family members assassinated, much less waging war itself. 

This went badly for her, Κλεοπάτρα (Glory of the Father) took poison and died on learning of her lover Antony's defeat at Actium. She played for the highest stakes and lost.

Just ask the monkey,

LSP

Cat From Hue

 

A kind reader of this inconsequential mind blog sent me a book, The Cat From Hue. He was, forgive me if I'm wrong, trying to make sense of the Vietnam conflict as was the author himself, a CBS journalist who got right in the thick of things. Like no fooling.

And what things they were. The book starts off in 1965 and moves from there to Tet and I'm struck by the no-nonsense of the prose, the bravery of the reporters and the men they cover. Also, and this stands out, the number of WWII and Korean vets in the story.

There they were, on their third war, yes, people who'd seen action at Bastogne and Imjin equivalents. I don't dare comment except to say that this is an outstanding book written by a good man. Read it, you won't be disappointed, The Cat From Hue.

Semper,

LSP

Exodus

 

yet another urban hellhole

According to data from the Economic Innovation Group, some 2 million people fled large US cities from 2020-2022, with the largest exodus taking place in 2020-21:

Domestic outmigration from large urban counties to suburbs and exurbs continued in 2022, though at a slower pace than the year prior. Over 1.2 million people left large urban counties between July 1, 2020 and July 1, 2021, with nearly 800,000 flowing into the suburbs and exurbs; this movement continued to a lesser degree in 2022. Large urban counties trimmed losses to 861,000 last year, while inflows to the suburbs halved and domestic migration to exurban counties fell by one-quarter.

 

California and New York were especially badly hit by people leaving Democrat tyranny zones in 2022, with 300,000 people fleeing the Sunshine State and 343,000 pulling out of the Big Apple. Where do they go? Florida and Texas for starters, and can you blame them.

vote for the progressives, idiots

Serious question, are we heading for a black flag national divorce?

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Attention Soldats!

 

Ici. Patria Nostra.

La Mort c'est la Vie,

LSP

PS. How'd that fat guy get through selection?

PPS. Back in the mists of time we had a corporal in HQ Battalion who'd fled the Gloucesters for the 2nd Rep, for "some action" and then caught religion, jumped ship and handed himself in to UKLF. Pending trial for his infamy he served as acting corp, he'd give orders in French, "Soldats!" Good man and now, I believe, an Anglican Deacon somewhere in England. So.

Happy Cooking With LSP - Yorkshire Pudding

 

how can anyone take you seriously?

Can you have too much of a good thing? No, but only if the thing in question is absolutely good. That in mind, this humble cookery blog's focusing on the X-Ring, yes, Yorkshire Pudding, so very tasty. But how do you make these "puddings"? Good question and here's my fix, backed up by experts.

nice

Get a mixing bowl, mine's made of pyrex, you maybe have some other kind and that's OK. Tip a cup of regular flour into the bowl. Add 4 eggs. Stir it all about until smooth, perhaps you use an Olde Wooden Forke to achieve this τέλος, or a whisk, or whatever, your call.

Next up pour a cup of whole milk or 3/4 cup of whole milk and 1 1/12 tbs water into the mix. Add 1/2 tsp of salt. Stir until the consistency of cream. Well done, you've just made Yorkshire Pudding batter, no small thing. So now what?

next add milk/water, don't forget salt

Put the batter aside, expert YP science says it doesn't matter if it goes in the fridge or not, I use the fridge, and let it rest. Settled science says the longer the rest the better, up to overnight, makes for a better rise, because science. But if you're turning these beasts on a schedule/dime, 30+ minutes works too.

this batter's ready to go hot

Then clean some guns, or catapults, kitchen knives and sticks if you're in the UK, wash the kitchen floor, catch up on blogs and LL's excellent meditation on Faith and Substance while the batter's resting. Admire the rus in urbe aspect of your Compound's back yard while you're at it, all is good. Next?

hot tin

Preheat oven to 425* and pour beef dripping or olive oil into your pudding tin. I use olive oil and a sixfold muffin thing; you don't need much oil/fat, just cover the bottom of each indent or, if you're going hardcore heavy metal, 8" heavy metal skillets (x2).

Well done, you've got this far, sharpen a kukri while the oven heats. When it's ready, put the oiled tin into the oven, let it heat up for around 10 minutes if you're using a Sixer muffin tin. Tin hot, experts say it doesn't matter if it is, take it out and pour in the batter, around a 1/4 cup per ripping hot indent. It should sizzle. Word to the wise, don't take the hot tin out of the oven with your hands, sayn.

Command & Control from the, er, kitchen

Too much detail? Hey, no gain without pain; fire the superhot tin into the 425* (some techologists say 450*) oven and let it do its thing for around 20 minutes. Word to the wise, don't take it out too soon or the puddings will collapse, you want a crispy exterior which upholds the rise. They should look something like this.

a bit done? Hey 4 outta six, not a bad ratio

Mission accomplished, behold the beauty of the thing and fall upon your scoff, yes, like a warrior.

Adveniat,

LSP

Roll Me On The Water

 

Behold awesome.

Your Old Pal,

LSP

Just Marking Time

 

We're psyching up to put that rib in the oven, Oh yes indeed, defeat the New World Order and its Illuminati shill dupes. People keep, gentle readers, attacking the above with less than stellar result. Dance on.

And draw the parable as you take it,

LSP

Easter Monday Cooking With LSP

Birds sing, exotic ducks roost on top of Eduardo's roof and all's well in LSPland, in that balmy springlike way we so love. Alleluia, Christ has risen from the grave and death and Hell have no more dominion over us. 

That in mind, I fixed a G3 monocle on a boneless 6-7 rib roast lurking in the thievish corners of the fridge. Why not cook that beef up, after all, it's Easter Monday. And here's it is, brushed with olive oil and seasoned with pepper and salt, ready to go onto a vegetable trivet and into the oven.

Now, before you say how could you possibly afford that on your miserable stipend, so-called LSP? I'll tell you this little beast was bought at a 50% markdown firesale. Margin calls aside, great result, and here's the plan. 

Roast for 15 minutes at 500* then at 325*for 12 minutes per pound. Test with a meat thermometer at around 50/60 minutes, it should come in at 125-130* for medium rare awesomeness. Next up?

just a kid

Take the life giving beef out of the oven, celebrate your not inconsiderable victory with a glass of the right stuff, cover the meat in foil and let it rest for around 20 or 30 minutes, it'll continue to cook to tender, juicy perfection. 

As it does, fire some potatoes in the oven at 425* along with Yorkshire pudding batter in a preheated tin or skillet(s), boil up carrots or whatever, there's no "rule," and after 20 minutes or so remove from oven. In the meanwhile, and this is key, make gravy from the beef's drippings and remains of the veg trivet (which should include garlic cloves, onion and carrot, which you crush and strain, obvs).

hey now

Strife o'er, cut the beef. Serve the veg alongside. Place several Yorkshires on the plate. Stand askance at the sheer beauty of the thing and add gravy. Then fall upon your scoff like a warrior. Well, that's the projection and let's see how it goes, so far we're at the seasoned beef resting to room temp stage, with YP batter in the fridge, let that rest, important.

Stay Tuned,

LSP

Just Take it Easy Terrapin

 

Just relax and take it easy, to Terrapin:

Which of you, gentle readers, all three of you, will risk uncertain pains of Hell?

Your Old friend,

LSP

Happy Easter

 

What good Masses at the Missions, full of joy. That in mind, wishing you all the best, new life in the risen and triumphant Christ. The strife, liturgically, is o'er, and so to score the uplift:

Turn it up and blast it out. Satan, Hell and Death is utterly refuted. Stand firm in that and do not surrender, ever,

Christus Surrexit Alleluia,

LSP

Holy Saturday And The Harrowing of Hell

 

Today Christ lays in the tomb and harrows Hell. A Scottish poet, George Mackay Brown, speaks:

He went down the first step.

His lantern shone like the morning star.

Down and round he went

Clothed in his five wounds.

Solomon whose coat was like daffodils

Came out of the shadows.

He kissed Wisdom there, on the second step.

The boy whose mouth had been filled with harp-songs,

The shepherd king

Gave, on the third step, his purest cry.

At the root of the Tree of Man, an urn

With dust of apple-blossom.

Joseph, harvest-dreamer, counsellor of pharaohs

Stood on the fourth step.

He blessed the lingering Bread of Life.

He who had wrestled with an angel,

The third of the chosen,

Hailed the King of Angels on the fifth step.

Abel with his flutes and fleeces

Who bore the first wound

Came to the sixth step with his pastorals.

On the seventh step down

The tall primal dust

Turned with a cry from digging and delving.

Tomorrow the Son of Man will walk in a garden.

On the seventh step down the tall primal dust turned with a cry from digging and delving. Tomorrow the Son of Man will walk in a garden. Yes indeed.

God bless,

LSP