Cowboy Candy

 

Cowboy Candy? Wait, what? Jalapenos? Yes, exactly. Here at the Compound we're going green and growing our own food, and part of this means jalapenos. But here's the thing, These plants, by the grace of God, produce an abundant harvest; so many peppers, so what to do? Candy those homegrown bad boys. Here's how.

Raise many adorable jalapeno seedlings. Watch them spout and grow, and then transplant them to the ground of your compound. Good, honest, down to earth work. Then water them and watch them grow, like a gardener. No kidding, in time they'll start to flower and bear fruit, peppers. Harvest those peppers and behold the glory of God's creation as you do. Then?

Boil up a cup of cane sugar, a half cup of apple cider vinegar, add 1/4 tsp of mustard seed, celery seed and turmeric and 1/2 tsp of kosher salt. Bring all this to a boil and simmer for a few minutes as you slice up a 1/2 pound of peppers.

Add the jolly peppers to your simple syrup, let 'em boil for a few minutes until vaguely shriveled, then transfer your garden grown goodness to a mason jar using a slotted spoon. It's not hard, just do it. Next step, simmer the spiced syrup for four or five minutes and then pour it on top of the peppers in their specially sterilized jar.

Somewhat in awe of this garden-to-mason-jar progress, stand back and have a glass of cold white wine, you've deserved it, and let the syrup simmer for a few more minutes. That done, pour it over the peppers in their shiny, glassy jar. Well done, let it rest, like the good Lord on the Sabbath, then seal up the jar, put it in the fridge and wait for a couple of weeks.

Net result? I tell you, dear friends, total awesomeness. Word to the wise, don't touch your eyes while you're at it.

Cheers,

LSP

Cooking With LSP - Poppers

 

Oh yeah, cooking with LSP, that old shibboleth. Good call, readers, but hold on. There you are, and it's a Sunday afternoon in the Texas Free State, Masses said, Sacrament confected. So what to do? Have a glass of nicely chilled Vieille Ferme, and ponder the issue. An obvious answer springs to mind, after all, it's dove season, make poppers.

It's easy enough, shoot some birds, soak the breasts in brine and while they're doing their thing slice some jalapeno's in half, scoop out the seeds and fill those bad boys with cream cheese. I use Philadelphia Cream Cheese in its famously silvery foil packet, but that's just me, feel free to use a lesser brand. No rule.

Then put the dove breasts on a cutting board, slice off the meat and place each breast in the middle of each cream cheese filled pepper. It's not hard, far from it, but word to the wise, do not rub or wipe your eyes during this evolution. Seriously, bad error.

Next up? Wrap the pepper, cream cheese, dove combos up in bacon, drive a toothpick through the midst of each one to secure the life-giving bacon or, if you can't get toothpicks because supply chain collapse and inflation, simply wrap bacon around the morsels and let it be. Likewise, if you run out of bacon because you can't afford one slice per popper because Bidenomics, cut your bacon strips in half and get the job done that way. Trust me, it still works.

Prep done, behold the beauty of the thing and fire the popper tray into the oven at 400*. Take it out after the bacon's ready, you can smell the deliciousness of it when it is, and fall upon your scoff.

Like a Warrior,

LSP