Fighting Monkey

Back in the 18th Century and "the earlies", when being a Company Man meant something altogether different than sitting numbly in front of a monitor in a cubicle, people weren't adverse to putting the odd monkey in the ring.

Here's an excerpt from The Sporting Magazine, 1799.

A quite unusual fight between two animals was staged in Worcester. The wager stood at three guineas, according to which the dog would kill the monkey in at most six minutes. The dog's owner agreed that the monkey would be allowed to defend itself with a stick about a foot long.

Hundreds of spectators gathered to witness this fight and the odds stood at eight, nine and even ten to one in favour of the dog, which could scarcely be subdued before the fight. The monkey's owner took a stick, about twelve inches long, from his coat pocket, tossed it to the monkey and said:

"Now Jack, pay attention, defend yourself against the dog!"

The butcher cried: "Now, get after the monkey!"

He let the dog go and it sprang at the monkey like a tiger. The monkey was amazingly nimble, jumped about three feet high in the air and when it came down landed directly on the dog's back, bit firmly in the dog's neck, grabbed his opponent's left ear with his hand thereby preventing the dog from turning his head to bite him. In this totally surprising situation the monkey now began to work over the dog's head with his club and he pounded so forcefully and relentlessly on the dog's skull that the poor creature cried out loudly. In short, the skull was soon cracked and the dead dog was carried from the ring. Yet, the monkey was only of medium size."

two people pretending to be something they don't believe in anyway

I'm not a betting man, but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any three of your priestesses that Schori's Episcopal Church will accelerate its long slide into transexual oblivion. And while we're at it, you might also care to explain why borrowing more money will see us clear of debt.

The challenge is on.

LSP

Ride Hard, Bonnie Resigns

The last two times but one that I rode out on JB weren't very satisfactory, with the horse pulling just about every trick inn the book to do what she wanted instead of what I wanted. What did I want? Not much, just a gentle walk and trot down a dirt road, maybe a few bursts of canter/gallop. What did she want? To be back in her pasture with her horse friends. Any of you that ride will know the scenario and the ensuing contest of wit and will; it's just not any fun if all you're after is an hour or so of healthy horseback enjoyment in the Texan countryside.

ready to go?

With that in mind I wasn't expecting any kind of good performance on Thursday; I knew I was dealing with a herd-bound horse. Still, we moved off out of the pasture and down the road. Fine, until we passed an alluring herd of Quarter horses in a neighbouring field. JB's horsemind did the math and came to the obvious conclusion, viz. far better to fraternize with these Quarter Horses than be ridden by LSP.

I love the herd...

Being a smart animal, JB figured the best plan of action would be to  surreptitiously swerve left towards the enticing herd. That didn't work so she thought, "I know, I'll just back up into the herd!" which I let her do until she nudged a hotwire with her rear. A look of equine bafflement later and horse and rider were on their way into a large mown field and pointing away from the Quarter Horses.

Off we galloped along the circumference of the field; I got the forward movement and the enjoyment of the gallop, she got to go in the direction of the herd, albeit by a circuitous route. Wisdom says "use what the horse wants to training advantage, LSP." Which I did, going at it several times, changing directions, till it was time to cool down and walk. Then we did it all over again, this time going at angles across the field, followed by gallops along the perimeter.

all about the herd

I tell you, it's a good feeling to go full(ish) tilt across a big field on a horse that's bred to run. JB liked it too and was rewarded with a cooling shower. She promptly rolled in the dirt, a happy horse.

Bonnie laughing at Schori

In other news, Bonnie Anderson, President of TEC's House of Deputies, has apparently tired of rolling in the dirt of General Convention and announced her resignation following this year's  Convention in Indianapolis. She thanks TEC's "system of governance" for acknowledging that the Holy Spirit "blows where she pleases."

alien space creature

Since when was the third Person of the Trinity revealed to us as "she"? Nothing like making it up as you go along, is there.

Stay on the horse,

LSP

Liturgical Dance

southern orders

I know, this is mostly a gun and horse blog, but sometimes you need the exception to prove the rule. So here's some interpretive liturgical dance to brighten up your Sunday night. See if you can spot which ones are catholic and which ones aren't.

catholic or protestant?

Here's another.

a catholic?

And another!

a protestant?

Well, nothing like a good bit of liturgical dance to brighten up the evening,  I always think, especially combined with a healthy dose of poetry from the Episcopal Women's Caucus. This one's entitled "Sister Spirit" and it goes like this:

Sister Spirit

lift us up on angels wings

fill our

hearts

minds

spirits

bodies

with hope

that we might respond to God's call

with joyful song and praise.

God bless us with your love,

this day

and every

day.

Amen.

Beautiful, isn't it.

The Episcopal Church is losing 50,000 members annually.

Keep dancing,

LSP

I am the Good Shepherd

Jesus tells us in today's Gospel that He is the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep, unlike the "hireling" who runs away from the "wolf."

I waxed fiery during the sermon about the apostate hirelings who have either run away from the demonic beast or sided with him in order to lead the foolish sheeple to perdition. Western Anglicanism serves as a handy case study. Under its current gang of heretical pagans pastors The Episcopal Church (TEC) is losing 50,000 annually and its lesser cousin, the diminutive ACoC (Anglican Church of Canada), well, where is it? Mars?

some kind of joke?

After the first Mass we discussed the text a little further over coffee, noting that Christ is both sheep and shepherd, sacrificial victim and eschatological Lord. This prompted the following:

Countryman 1:  "I used to raise sheep, Father."

LSP:                 "Ah hah."

Countryman 1:  "They're dumber than a box of hammers."

Countryman 2: "I was showing a sheep and it ran right off into a  moat. I had to use a lariat to haul it out."

LSP:                  "I see."

Here endeth the Lesson.

LSP

Steenson Loves Schori.

Steenson

The United States now has an Ordinariate in which Anglicans can convert to the Roman Catholic church while keeping elements of their heritage. The newly minted leader of the U.S. Ordinariate is Geoffery Steenson, former TEC (The Episcopal Church) Bishop of the Rio Grande.

In a recent article in The Living Church, Steenson had this to say about his former boss, litigious abortion advocate, Presiding Bishop Katherine Jefferts Schori.

“One of the people I’m still very grateful for is Katharine Jefferts Schori. She was absolutely wonderful... I could not have asked for better pastoral care from my presiding bishop.”

Absolutely Wonderful!

Resisting the urge to say "let's all break out the cuddly toys and go hug a tree while trying not throw up," I congratulate Fr. Steenson on his new appointment. 

Someone's Parker Hale awesomness

All you need is love and a custom Lee Enfield.

I love Lees.

LSP

The Smallest Church You Never Saw In Your Life

In an interview with the Washington Post, The Episcopal Church's newly promoted leader, Dr. Budde (pronounced Budd-ee) had this to say:

“We’re like a boutique. We’re the most inclusive church in the world that’s the tiniest church in Christendom. . . . I’m not interested in being the leader of a boutique church.”

If the shoe fits... Budde.

LSP

A Handful Of Tack

Picked up a handful of tack and headed off for an episode of ride and shoot, only to discover that JB has Pigeon Fever, which is a nasty disease resulting in an abscess. Curable, fortunately. I rode Bebop instead and we had a good old gallop along the edge of a couple of large fields.

I loved that; Bebop can fairly fly along and we had plenty of space for it. Picked up a dog too and that was fine until he decided it'd be a neat trick to bite the horse's back legs while we were running. Bebop wasn't too keen on that game and made several good efforts to kick the dog out of existence -- stay in the saddle LSP! -- but no one, horse, hound or rider came to harm. 

I like a gallop, clears the head.

In other news, Jefferts Schori, boy bishop leaderene of The Episcopal Church, has written a book. She thinks that Our Lord was like a Hell's Angel who took toys to poor people, when not "messing about in boats" or being a "party animal." Well, nothing like a bit of christology to get the mind working...

Stay in the saddle,

LSP

Invasion Of The Pod People

The Episcopal Church's (TEC) Executive Council released a statement this afternoon, which included the following:

"We are living into a new season of weaving our threads of interdependence together in the spirit of ubuntu – you in me and I in you, the theme of our last General Convention."

weavers

TEC's communique was punctuated by lyrics from the "Weave Song" by Rosemary Crow, previously famous for her song "You Can Be a Heretic, Too." Weave goes like this:

Weave, weave, weave . . .
Weave us together in unity and love.

We are many textures, we are many colors,
. . . we are entwined in one another in one great tapestry

We are different instruments playing our own melodies. . .
But we are all playing in harmony in one great symphony.

Weave, weave, weave...

What does it mean?

ascend the pod

I'd say that was obvious. The Pod People have landed.

According to latest statistics TEC lost around 2000 members a month from 2009 - 2010. Perhaps the off-world weaving wisdom of the Pod will reverse this interesting trend.

God bless,

LSP

Bishops Pt. III - Sunni, Shia, Sufi, Schori?

Goofy

 

 

In a recent visit to All Saints of the Desert church in Arizona, Jefferts Schori, leaderene and "Boy Bishop" of The Episcopal Church (TEC) spoke out in favor of Islam.

Scary

“There are many strands of Muslims that share a great deal in common with the Episcopal Church. God will use us if we are willing to work closely with each other. There are great possibilities,” stated Schori to parishioners.

Zany

Great possibilities - for what? Interfaith pilgrimages to Mecca? Joint basket weaving workshops? Shared disbelief in the divinity of Christ? And just who are these multiple "strands of Muslims" who have so much in common with Schori's TEC? Would they be the ones that do the beheading, or the ones attacking Christians in Egypt and throughout the Middle East?

Violent

After her enigmatic comments on The Religion of Peace, Schori told listeners that, "Weapons of violence should not be freely available to just anyone who wants them.”

Evidently Arizona is a free firearms distribution zone. Who knew?

Well done Schori, you get a robust eight Alien Heads.

LSP