Saturday, May 26, 2012

Fighting Monkey

Back in the 18th Century and "the earlies", when being a Company Man meant something altogether different than sitting numbly in front of a monitor in a cubicle, people weren't adverse to putting the odd monkey in the ring.

Here's an excerpt from The Sporting Magazine, 1799.

A quite unusual fight between two animals was staged in Worcester. The wager stood at three guineas, according to which the dog would kill the monkey in at most six minutes. The dog's owner agreed that the monkey would be allowed to defend itself with a stick about a foot long.
Hundreds of spectators gathered to witness this fight and the odds stood at eight, nine and even ten to one in favour of the dog, which could scarcely be subdued before the fight. The monkey's owner took a stick, about twelve inches long, from his coat pocket, tossed it to the monkey and said:
"Now Jack, pay attention, defend yourself against the dog!"
The butcher cried: "Now, get after the monkey!"
He let the dog go and it sprang at the monkey like a tiger. The monkey was amazingly nimble, jumped about three feet high in the air and when it came down landed directly on the dog's back, bit firmly in the dog's neck, grabbed his opponent's left ear with his hand thereby preventing the dog from turning his head to bite him. In this totally surprising situation the monkey now began to work over the dog's head with his club and he pounded so forcefully and relentlessly on the dog's skull that the poor creature cried out loudly. In short, the skull was soon cracked and the dead dog was carried from the ring. Yet, the monkey was only of medium size."
two people pretending to be something they don't believe in anyway

I'm not a betting man, but I'll wager my fighting monkey against any three of your priestesses that Schori's Episcopal Church will accelerate its long slide into transexual oblivion. And while we're at it, you might also care to explain why borrowing more money will see us clear of debt.

The challenge is on.



bluesun said...

"people pretending to be something they don't believe in anyway" neatly sums up pretty much all the issues occurring trans-denominationally (or would it be Pan-denominationally? Either way, I think I just made up a new word).

LSP said...

It really does, Bluesun.

I like "trans-denominationally" and might just have to use it. Shortens, unfortunately, to "transdom", which has a strangely Episcopalian ring to it...

Silverfiddle said...

You are an artist. I'm still laughing so hard I can hardly type...

Give 'em hell, Reverend!

LSP said...

Nothing quite like a fighting monkey to quicken the pulse and get the guinea wagers going.

Have a blessed Pentecost, Silverfiddle.