Saturday, March 21, 2020

Silver Linings




It's dark, wet, and cold in the bucolic haven that is this small Texan farming community meets industrial theme park. That, and the Chinese Plague or "Red Death" is a looming threat from the nearby DFW metrosprawl.

Still, behind every dark cloud there's a silver lining. To name several: Drag Queen Story Hour's been cancelled and no one seems to care very much about preferred pronouns. It's almost as though the "greatest civil rights issue of our time" (Joe Biden) wasn't so very important after all. But of course the Mass is.




Question. Should the Parsons be livestreaming Private Masses or not? I'm inclined to say it cheapens the Sacrament of the Altar. Here's Adrienne:

At first (in a rather paganish way) I thought, "Cool - don't have to put on makeup, fix my hair, dress up. I can sit in front of my computer and think holy thoughts."
Reality. Prayers at the foot of the altar = Erica kitteh demanding breakfast. The Introit = Frankie doggie having to go out and pee. The epistle and gospel = I have to pee. And on, and on.

Good points. Whatever the case, I'll be posting links to the Mass tomorrow.

Be safe and as always...


LSP

Friday, March 20, 2020

Trooping The Colour


You might think this stupid and irrelevant. Maybe you should think again.

Your Pal,

LSP

Majestic Melania Addresses The Nation



America's First Lady offers the nation timeless words of advice and consolation at this time of crisis, as the storm is upon us. Melania's love of children, life, and country are as self-evident as her majestic, elegant simplicity.


Elegant Simplicity

Here at the Compound we join with loyal Americans everywhere in giving thanks to God that patriots are in control. You can imagine, perhaps, what the outcome would have been otherwise.


Behold Satan

We will, as America's popular and glamorous First Lady reminds us, survive this ordeal and emerge stronger, more unified and better able to face the threats that beset our constitutional democracy. 


A Beautiful White Hat

And they're manifold, not least a transnational cabal of sociopath, corrupt, venal, alien, consumed by greed, nihilist traitors who care nothing for God, country and people.




Stay strong, keep the faith and thank you, First Lady for doing your not inconsiderable best to keep America and by extension the West, great. 

God bless,

LSP

Thursday, March 19, 2020

Don't Fear The Reaper



Helpful, right?

LSP

Snowflake & Safespace



You may have noticed we're experiencing some turbulence lately, thanks to the ChiCom Bat Bug or "Red Death." So let's thank the higher power for Marvel's new line of Superheroes, Snowflake and Safespace.

Snowflake and Safespace spring from the mind of Emmy nominated Daniel Kibblesmith. Here's Marvel:

"Safespace is a big, burly, sort of stereotypical jock. He can create forcefields, but he can only trigger them if he's protecting somebody else. Snowflake is non-binary and goes by they/them, and has the power to generate individual crystalized snowflake-shaped shurikens. The connotations of the word 'snowflake' in our culture right now are something fragile, and this is a character who is turning it into something sharp.


Faggy Mountebanks

"Snowflake is the person who has the more offensive power, and Safespace is the person who has the more defensive power. The idea is that they would mirror each other and complement each other."

But that's not all, there's the morbidly obese, rubbish sidekick Trailblazer, who has a quantum backpack as well as a whole lotta weight. Ghetto stereotype, clever irony, fried chicken or something else again. But here's my call, for what it's worth. 


Hmmm. Fried Chicken

It's as though we're sitting on a bomb right now and we don't know if it'll go off; it might, it might not, it has in Italy. Whatever the case, we're being forced to reflect on our mortality, remember O man that thou art dust and to dust thou shalt return. A Lenten theme and with it, be not afraid.

So bad call, Marvel, you're exposed as a purveyor of degenerate irrelevancy. Take stock, not that you read this tiny kebab stand on the *net superhighway, and provide us with real heroes. We need them.

God bless,

LSP

Spiritual Communion



Just got the call from the diocese instructing all clergy to cancel public worship, so that's what's happening in the missions.

I'll say a Private Mass sine populo, because it's important, but people can and should make frequent Spiritual Communion. Here's a short form:

My Jesus, 
I believe that You
are present in the Most Holy Sacrament. 
I love You above all things, 
and I desire to receive You into my soul. 
Since I cannot at this moment
receive You sacramentally, 
come at least spiritually into my heart. I embrace You as if You were already there and unite myself wholly to You. Never permit me to be separated from You. Amen.

God bless,

LSP

Wednesday, March 18, 2020

High On A Mountain


Uplifting, what? Wager the monkey on Ms. Lynn; Devil take the hindmost and twice as fast.

Stand Steady,

LSP

St. Patrick's Prayer



I was going to post this yesterday but The Band got in the way and Adrienne beat me to it. Still, here's some power from St. Patrick's Breastplate:

I summon today
All these powers between me and those evils,
Against every cruel and merciless power
that may oppose my body and soul,
Against incantations of false prophets,
Against black laws of pagandom,
Against false laws of heretics,
Against craft of idolatry,
Against spells of witches and smiths and wizards,
Against every knowledge that corrupts man's body and soul;
Christ to shield me today
Against poison, against burning,
Against drowning, against wounding,
So that there may come to me an abundance of reward.
Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ behind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity,
Through belief in the Threeness,
Through confession of the Oneness
of the Creator of creation.

What a mighty prayer and you can read the whole thing at Adrienne's Corner.

God bless and be safe,

LSP

Monday, March 16, 2020

The Canadians Arrive


Word has it that Justine Trudeau's "self-isolating" to "flatten the curve." We can but hope. In the meanwhile, we hope you find this infovideo as uplifting as we do and Fort Gordon, take note.

Your Pal,

LSP

Walmart Wipeout




Reports were coming in of raiders out of Austin moving north in search of food, so I launched a recce patrol at the local Walmart. What a wipeout, as if a horde of locusts had swept through devouring all in their path.




Meat? Beef, pork? No.




Bye-bye rice and pasta.




Alas poor bacon, we knew you well.




You want milk? Forget about it, and the same goes for eggs, bread, flour, tuna, spam, beans, water, dried noodle snacks, luncheon meat, orange juice and cheese. And don't even think of buying chicken nuggets, fish sticks, potatoes, loo roll (TP) and cleaning products.




Now picture handfuls of dazed, shell-shocked shoppers slowly pushing their carts through the deserted aisles, their carts as empty as their stunned eyes and the very shelves. Yes, like a scene from one of the virus series we're binge watching at the Compound.

Still, there was plenty of wine, tomato paste and Vienna sausages. I bought all three and left, mission accomplished. Moral of the story?




First, never forget things can turn on a dime and before you know it there's no more food, so be smart and stock up. That way you won't have to fight over the last pack of chicken nuggets with some chancer hippy out of Austin. Second, don't buy all the bacon, it's rude and stupid.

Be safe, 

LSP

Sunday, March 15, 2020

CONFEDERATE TIME TRAVELER?!?



Brainiac boffins believe time travel may be possible thanks to "quantum entanglement," and shocking new evidence seems to prove them right. 




Nineteenth century pictures of a Confederate firing line show a bearded soldier calmly reloading his musket in the face of a Yankee charge. 




Amazingly, a photo has emerged of the same soldier in central Texas in the 21st century, a leap of over 100 years.

Is time travel now a possibility or are objects in the mirror more right wing than at first appears? As always, you, the reader, be the judge.

Deo Vind.

LSP