They Hunt Democrats With Dogs

The Democratic National Committee's Robert Zimmerman told Fox News listeners that in some states Democrats were hunted down with dogs.

"I mean governor, they hunt Democrats with dogs in these states," stated Zimmerman on Huckabee, and it's true, we do.

Hunt Zimmerman Down With Dogs

Speaking of dogs, there's been a lot of helpful suggestions as to a name for the new-found Heeler: Banjo, Rustler, Bubba, Clarence, Erasmus, Bebble, Frankie (& variations), Zeke, Mac, Blue, Hans, Zebedee, Abednego, Bonza and more besides.

I'm leaning towards Banjo and Rustler.

Good hunting,

LSP

No One Can Catch Ebola

See, the thing about a deadly airborne virus is that it's really hard to catch. Almost impossible to catch; in fact, it's hardly a disease at all.

That's why our soldiers who were sent to Liberia on a stupid Demoncrat PR stunt are being quarantined on their return home, and why the CDC has ordered up how many thousands of "body bags," and FEMA's busy storing coffin liners against a catastrophe that won't ever happen.

I hope I'm wrong. And I hope that not quarantining countries with an infectious, non-curable disease like Ebola, makes sense, and that all those CDC Hazmat suits have been ordered just 'coz, you know, the CDC thinks they won't be needed.

Respirators on, advance to contact,

LSP

What Should I Call This Dog?

A couple of days ago a Blue Heeler tipped up on the porch and he stayed. I fed him; maybe that helped. So have various church people, who like him a lot.

And I had this resolve, "He's not coming inside the house," I thought grimly to myself. But he has, as far as the kitchen, until I get a doghouse for him to live in outside. I'm obviously getting softheaded.

But here's the thing, what should I call him? Here's the suggestions so far:

Blue
Welby (heh)
Zebedee
Abednego
Rudel (as in Hans)

I need a name for this dog. Help, please.

LSP

Halloween Scary

Have fun trick 'r treating and remember. Halloween isn't Satan's birthday.

Pretty scary demoncrat pumpkin, eh?

God bless,

LSP

Dog on the Porch

I got back from Mass yesterday and sure enough, there was a dog on the porch. A Heeler. No collar. So I gave him some food and water, expecting him to be on his way after he'd had some scoff.

This Dog Hates Libs

But no, he was there this morning, sleeping on the doormat. I fed him again, on the porch, and he followed me to  the store, and back, to his home on the porch. And that's where he's staying. Outside.

Rural Idyll

Obedient dog, sits, heels (obviously) and likes running after the pickup, just like he's supposed to do. A church lady saw him this afternoon and I asked what she thought of the beast. "That's a cow dog," she said and she'd know.

Your Home is Outside

He can stay on the porch and I'll feed him when he's not foraging; he can add an extra tier of defense to the operation, if he chooses to stay. 

Every bit will help in the coming collapse.

God bless,

LSP

Spaceman

U.S. Secretary of State, John Kerry, is like an out of control astronaut who is lost in space, say White House officials.

According to the leftist New York Times, White House staff say Kerry is like the astronaut in the film Gravity, somersaulting through space, untethered from the White House.

Out of Control

This isn't the first time that Kerry has been described as an out of control spaceman. Israel's left-leaning Haaretz newspaper described him as a space alien.

Spaceman

"It's as if he isn't the foreign minister of the world's most powerful nation, but an alien, who just disembarked his spaceship in the Mideast," wrote Barack Ravid, the paper's diplomatic editor.

"If he gets rubbished by Haaretz it means he really goofed up," said one foreign policy expert.

Limo Lib Comsymp Millionaire

Comsymp limo-lib socialist John Kerry's net worth is an estimated $194 million. His Illuminati wife, Teresa Heinz, owns assets of approximately $750 million. 

They have a prenup.

LSP

I Went to West and Got a Haircut

Typical West Street Scene

Like the song says, I was born to have adventure, so I climbed in the truck and drove to West for a haircut. They have a barber there.

He was in his 70s and had a dyed blond "fauxhawk." Pretty sharp, and I told him, "I'd like a haircut please." He replied, "Like you're 16 again and all the girls like you! Gets to where they don't even notice you if they're under 35. Yessir. Medium." So out came the clippers and off went the hair, almost all of it.

Where's Your Hair Gone, Buddy?

He wasn't very happy about being in the Korean war and thought it was pretty much "bullshit." He was even less happy about having to clean planes that had been part of the hydrogen bomb tests.

"But you look alright," I said as I paid him his clipper fee.

"I am not, internally," he replied.

Next year, when my hair's long enough to cut again, I'll go back to that barber.

If you get the chance, go to any of the bakeries in West. They're outstanding.

God bless,

LSP

Country Life in Texas

Country life in Texas is alright. Sometimes it means doing a little bit of porch 'smithing to fix a recalcitrant trigger on a Marlin 981T. Fortunately the job was simple; tighten the screw, LSP.

Add caption

At other times it's all about cleaning some rimfires after Evening Prayer. I use a bore snake, or "pull-through," as we used to call them in what was once Great Britain. 

Ruger American

Don't get me wrong, I love England, even if it is a pathetic comsymp nanny state run by a crew of corrupt and sinister Old Etonians. Good luck with that.

Justsin

Speaking of England, a recent survey (via Breitbart) reveals that 2% of CofE clergy don't believe in God and another 9% think that it's impossible to know what God's like.

White Chicken

How many of those are bishops?

Big white roosters have setup in my yard. Make of that what you will and God bless Texas.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Government Is Your Friend

Remember, don't forget, that Government is your friend.

That's why you should give it your money.

To spend wisely, on your behalf.

OK?

LSP

Episcopal Church Bishops Terrorize France

Long known as a gang of evil clowns, Episcopal Church bishops are terrorizing France, randomly attacking unsuspecting pedestrians and motorists.

In Montpelier, an Episcopal Church bishop was seen attacking a man with what appeared to be an iron bar and in Bethune, one of the scary bishops was seen chasing children with a stick.

A Couple of Clowns

In a similar incident, gangs of "clowns" were reported to be "wandering around" the port of Agde. 

"These 'bishops' have been mostly spotted outside schools, but also on public roads, in bushes, in a square. Their targets are often young children or teenagers, but also adults," said a police source in northern France.

Terrifying

The recent spate of attacks by sinister Episcopalian clowns has been met with some resistance, as citizens band together for protection against the creepy marauders. French police have appealed for calm.

Smile!

Fear of Episcopalian Bishops is known as coulrophobia.

It is entirely justified.

LSP

Justin Welby Was Bronski Beat?

Rumors have surfaced that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was a driving force in Great Britain's first ever "gay band," the Bronski Beat.

nasty

Long-lost photos of the 1980s pansexual trio appear to show an already balding but blond Welby posing with members of the smash-hit, gay-wonder pop group.

grinning

Others dismiss the claim. "Justin wasn't hanging out at the bathhouses with Barack and the Communtards," stated one expert on the 1980s, "He was busy 'taking' Africa for its oil. Everyone knows that."

Bronski

Was Welby, Anglicanism's top decision-maker, a member of the boy-band, Bronski Beat? or was he just a New World Order Illuminati shill for Elf Oil?

Rough Trade

Kick out the Jams.

LSP

Anglican Communion Spotted?

Startling footage reveals what appears to be the Anglican Communion, hovering over the sea off the coast of Turkey.

The mysterious object was captured on film in 2008 and 2009 and seen by upwards of 20 people. Thanks to the footage being recorded by a camera capable of filming at 200 times optical, the Anglican Communion appears in great detail and seems to show what may be one or two occupants.

Turkey's National Council for the Study of Science and Technology analysed the video and determined in a report that the images of the strange craft were not a hoax.

"The objects observed on the images have a structure made of a specific material and are definitely not any kind of CGI animation or in any means a type of special effects used for simulation in a studio or for video effects. So the conclusion of this report is that the observations are not a model, marquette, or a fraud."

Dobby

Fraud or not, the Anglican Communion has been missing, perhaps lost, since the 1970s.

Has it been found, at last?

LSP