Beware the Boar

Escape from New York

Team LSP NYC had to escape the summer rigor of 'the Isand' for Turkey and stumbled upon the ruined temple of Artemis (Diana). It was one of the Wonders of the classical world but not much remains today after successive earthquakes, fires and looting. 

Artemis could be difficult at times and wasn't above alliance with wild hogs. Here's an excerpt from Ovid:

"‘This shall not pass unpunished. No!’ she cried, ‘I may be seen unhonoured, true, but never unavenged!’

"The smarting goddess sent a giant Boar, huge as the bulls that grassy Epiros breeds, dwarfing the bulls of fertile Sicula (Sicily); his eyes ablaze with fire and blood; his neck solid and steep; his bristles long and sharp, rigid as spearshafts; his broad sweeping flanks flecked, as he hissed and snorted, with hot foam. His mouth flashed lightning and his burning breath seared the green leaves. Now the young growing corn he trampled in the blade... The people fled..."

And who can blame them? Then up springs Ancaeus:

"‘Learn how far the weapons of a man surpass a girl’s and leave this task to me! Even though Latonia [Artemis] shields him from the blow, despite Diana [Artemis], mine shall lay him low!’ Such was Ancaeus’ braggart brazen boast, and raising in both hands his double axe he balanced on his feet and stood tiptoe. Brave and bold! but the beast struck first and plunged both tusks high in his groin, the shortest road to death, and down he fell and, disembowelled, his guts gushed out and soaked the ground with gore."

Moral of the story? Kill the hog with the first shot and don't disrespect women. Or something like that.

Cheers,

LSP

PS. Why Piers must go back from whence he came - see Guido.

Piers Morgan - Please send him back.

Twister

Hailed at Crack.com as "one of the most unpopular journalists working in the UK," Piers Morgan was once editor of Britain's left-leaning Daily Mirror, until he was fired for running fake pictures of British troops abusing Iraqi prisoners.

But he had made lots of money through shrewd investments in the stock market, and moved to America, where he interviews Oprah on CNN and does Simon Cowell impersonations on America's Got Talent. 

Now it seems as if the media mogul's past is catching up with him.

James Hipwell, a former journalist at the Mirror during 'The Dark Lord's' tenure, has claimed it was "inconceivable" that his old boss didn't know about 'phone hacking at the tabloid.

Morgan has vehemently denied the accusations, stating, “I have never hacked a phone, told anyone to hack a phone, nor to my knowledge published any story obtained from the hacking of a phone. I am not aware, and have never seen evidence to suggest otherwise, that any Mirror story published during my tenure was obtained from phone hacking.”

Dark Lord

But Piers seems to have said something different in 2009 on the BBC's Desert Island Discs, "...people who rake through bins for a living, people who tap people’s phones, people who take secret photographs, who do all that nasty down-in-the-gutter stuff... How did you feel about that?

"Mr Morgan replied: 'To be honest, let’s put that in perspective as well. Not a lot of that went on. A lot of it was done by third parties rather than the staff themselves. That’s not to defend it, because obviously you were running the results of their work.

'I’m quite happy to be parked in the corner of tabloid beast and to have to sit here defending all these things I used to get up to, and I make no pretence about the stuff we used to do,' he told the programme's host, Kirsty Young.

'I simply say the net of people doing it was very wide, and certainly encompassed the high and low end of the supposed newspaper market.'"

"I simply say the net of people doing it was very wide..."

Maybe "The Mad God" will be summoned back to England by its masters?

You can read all about it in the Telegraph and Guido.

Cheers,

LSP

Come on. Move to Detroit.

Detroit

It's tempting to write something about the crazed Norwegian Templar(?!) and the Jihad, or Amy Winehouse, or the peculiar speech delivered by Barak 'He's less of a man than Putin' Obama last night. 

Evil Madman

But the recent 'cash incentives to live downtown' caught my eye.

'Cash incentives to live downtown?' you ask, 'Where?'

Motor City

Detroit, of course. Under a new $4 million scheme to revitalize Motown, first time home buyers will get a $20,000 forgivable loan and renters a grant of $3,000 spread over two years. That's not all, existing owners living in Detroit's post-apocalyptic urban wasteland will be eligible for a $5000 'exterior improvement' grant.

Tempted? Neither am I. Though my old friend 'Red'  (why didn't he get in trouble for firing off a shotgun in an abandoned house last year - why?) might think of applying for the 'home improvement' money.

I'll suggest it when I visit next week before crossing the river to Canada and the comparative safety of Windsor.

Pray for rain.

LSP

Evil, Satanic Dinosaurs!

Buck-Toothed Evil Spirit

Normally I reserve Alien Head Awards for Bishops, like Sean Manchester, Desmond 'little rascal' Tutu, or Jefferts Schori. But the net's been widened.

You see, there's a whole new class of off-world tomfoolery doing the ecclesial rounds; evil dinosaur theorists. Their theology goes a bit like this:

Dinosaurs aren't mentioned in the Bible, they were fierce, bloodthirsty and strange looking. Satan was a snake, similar to a dinosaur, but smaller. Satan created the dinosaurs but God got fed up with their wicked antics, so He destroyed them. That's why they didn't get a place in the Ark, obviously.

Here's an excerpt from Royce & Zolot's seminal work, "Did God Destroy the Dinosaurs?" 

"... Satan turned Earth into a freakish, hellish nightmare world drenched in the blood and gore of violence, death and destruction, an obscene parody of what God had intended. ... His bloodlust became insatiable. Lucifer abused his creative powers by creating a planet with a steamy, wet, tropical climate, a planet populated by dinosaurs, sea reptiles, flying serpents and other abnormal, grotesque creatures and monstrosities. ..."

Who knew? Now we do.

Royce, Zolot, you get an outstanding ten Alien Heads - so do your catholic friends in DFW, but I won't name names.

Well done. Carry on.

LSP

x10

Bishop, Alien, Monkey?

Ingham

Villagers in China have made a shocking discovery, a strange creature that could be one of the long lost Bishops of ACoC. (Anglican Church of Canada) 


Mrs. Mao Xiping thought it was a harmless rabbit until she noticed that the creature had an 'alien face'. Her neighbours agreed it was like nothing they had ever seen before and thought it acted 'a lot like Bishop Ingham, gobbling up everything in sight.'

Space Aliens

After devouring cucumbers, peaches and local churches, the creature was caged in a washing basket and taken to police, who arrested it.


'It has a voracious appetite,' said Mrs. Mao, who remains convinced that she caught ACoC's litigious Bishop of New Westminster.


But experts aren't convinced. 'It could be a Canadian Bishop, or an alien, or a monkey,' said one scientist, 'It's hard to tell.'

Monkey

When last seen, the tiny ACoC was heading into the icy vastness of deep space.


Archbishop Fred Hiltz was unavailable for comment.


LSP

Honestly

Yatesy

Drudge via Reuters:


"Is Britain more corrupt than it thinks?


No, never.


LSP

LSH

Strathcona

Too hot to do much except post an important picture of Lord Strathcona's Horse parading through Calgary. I understand the men, tanks and horses of that outstanding unit are well behind the popular movement to Give Kate Canada.

Loyal

Just sayin'.


Try not to melt.


LSP

Scorcher

Incredibly hot, something like 107 by 10 am this morning, but that didn't stop a drive over to JB's new pasture and a ride.


A few months ago she would have regressed back to being flighty, hard to catch and generally difficult, which was what I expected.

Not at all; JB was easy to catch, saddle, bridle and ride. We got up to some simple walk, trot, canter exercises until the heat got even more searing than it already was. So I was pleased with that, had a good shoot afterwards too, never mind the heat.


On a less sanguine front, unless you happen to be a gold investor, is this (from the Daily Telegraph via Drudge). It's a statement from Peter Hambro, chairman of the U.K's biggest gold listing:

"One of the big US banks texted me today to say that if QE3 actually happens, we could see gold at $5,000 and silver at $1,000. I feel terribly sorry for anybody on fixed incomes tied to a fiat currency because they are not going to be able to buy things with that paper money."


We're all doomed.


Stay on the horse.


LSP

Preston Benediction - Remarkable.

Rarely post videos because I find it a nuisance, but I was struck by this one. Sent from GWB, linguistic philosopher and all round sportsman.

God bless,

LSP

Putin v Obama

Vladimir Putin rides, shoots and likes to hunt whales, from a Zodiak, thank you very much.

Our leader likes to 'get out in the field' too.

Putin has his own cult, which worships him as the reincarnation of a Tsar and St. Paul. 

Of course we're immune from that sort of thing, here in the States.

Cheers,


LSP

Good Arabs

I know it's odd, but both LSP missions are heavily populated by shooters and riders, which means I get to combine pastoral visits with guns and horses and, lately, drive off to Waco where a member of the congregation has a stable of Arabians.

Arabs

They're fine, well trained, intelligent animals and a real pleasure to ride; I took off on Saheem the other day - walk, trot, canter, gallop, run! We sped along, fast and flat. Exhilarating. 


Then it was off to Lake Waco at a more relaxed pace, interspersed with the odd theology conversation.


Rider 1: "So, LSP, are you a Plato/Augustine man, or an Aristotle/Thomist?"
LSP: "Aristotle/Thomist, old chap."
Rider 1: "Thought so."
LSP: "But both are good. Unlike Hauerwas."
Rider 2: "He's bad. Got it all from Yoder."
Rider 1: "Yoder? They worship him at Duke."
LSP: "Useless. Saheem - canter!"

Saheem

And so on. Got into an informal race on the way back, chasing after my Platonist friend, "Rider 1". He has a book out on Just War Theory - sure to be a hit in LSPland.


A big vote of thanks to Miltown Arabians for the pleasure of a great ride - hopefully the first of many.


Stay on the horse,


LSP

Hippy Witches

Albion and Raven

Before settling down to the serious task of travelling backwards in time to meet a "go to press" deadline, I had a quick gaze at the All Seeing Eye's excellent blog. Two witches, Albion and Raven, have been terrorising a Warwickshire town with their scary seances and attempts to communicate with the dead. They've even opened up a "witch shop", the "Whispering Witch".


It seems the terrified locals aren't too keen on this experiment and have taken to using the "Whispering Witch" as a kind of outdoor "privy". You can read about it here.


The All Seeing Eye thinks they're "running" from something/somebody; perhaps they are, but then again, maybe the unholy duo are simply run-of-the-mill Episcopalien clergypersons.


Spark up the fire.


Hope your 4th of July was fun,


LSP