Monday, July 25, 2011

Evil, Satanic Dinosaurs!

Buck-Toothed Evil Spirit

Normally I reserve Alien Head Awards for Bishops, like Sean Manchester, Desmond 'little rascal' Tutu, or Jefferts Schori. But the net's been widened.

You see, there's a whole new class of off-world tomfoolery doing the ecclesial rounds; evil dinosaur theorists. Their theology goes a bit like this:

Dinosaurs aren't mentioned in the Bible, they were fierce, bloodthirsty and strange looking. Satan was a snake, similar to a dinosaur, but smaller. Satan created the dinosaurs but God got fed up with their wicked antics, so He destroyed them. That's why they didn't get a place in the Ark, obviously.

Here's an excerpt from Royce & Zolot's seminal work, "Did God Destroy the Dinosaurs?

"... Satan turned Earth into a freakish, hellish nightmare world drenched in the blood and gore of violence, death and destruction, an obscene parody of what God had intended. ... His bloodlust became insatiable. Lucifer abused his creative powers by creating a planet with a steamy, wet, tropical climate, a planet populated by dinosaurs, sea reptiles, flying serpents and other abnormal, grotesque creatures and monstrosities. ..."

Who knew? Now we do.

Royce, Zolot, you get an outstanding ten Alien Heads - so do your catholic friends in DFW, but I won't name names.

Well done. Carry on.




All Seeing Eye said...

Didn't God create the Leviathan in Job 41? And the Behemoth in Job 40 which was "chief of the ways of God"?

Dunno...just sayin'

And I don't think I'll click on your link to their stuff if it's all the same.

LSP said...

Excellent Leviathan, Behemoth points, ASE. They didn't think of that, did they?

Don't blame you for not clicking the link -- it's just more of the same errant abductee knavery.

But the weird thing is the number of otherwise respectable types who believe the Royce/Zolot 'metaphysic'.

Beats me.

darlin said...

This sounds like a cult, one I've never heard of and I'll keep my head in the sand I'm thinking... mind you it might make for some interesting research which I could incorporate into my Native Lit. course and the storytelling aspect. :-) Nah, that's too much like work! I'll stick to the basics and hope for the best.

LSP said...

It is a bit cultlike, Darlin.

Quite popular, too. You'd be surprised -- news to me...

Greg Tingey said...

No loopier than the YEC brigade, whooare supposed to be strong in the USA, I'm afraid...

And, of course, most dinosaurs were quite small, since they were the dominant life-type in the Cretaceous.

LSP said...

It is loopy, Tingey.

And to think, 'they're all out there, driving cars...'

You know I'm not some kind of lib when it comes to religion, or guns, or horses but... Satan made the dinosaurs? Really?

For goodness sake. You'd think the off-worlders would implant better thought processes in their abductees.