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Buck-Toothed Evil Spirit |
Normally I reserve Alien Head Awards for Bishops, like Sean Manchester, Desmond 'little rascal' Tutu, or Jefferts Schori. But the net's been widened.
You see, there's a whole new class of off-world tomfoolery doing the ecclesial rounds; evil dinosaur theorists. Their theology goes a bit like this:
Dinosaurs aren't mentioned in the Bible, they were fierce, bloodthirsty and strange looking. Satan was a snake, similar to a dinosaur, but smaller. Satan created the dinosaurs but God got fed up with their wicked antics, so He destroyed them. That's why they didn't get a place in the Ark, obviously.
Here's an excerpt from Royce & Zolot's seminal work, "Did God Destroy the Dinosaurs?"
"... Satan turned Earth into a freakish, hellish nightmare world drenched in the blood and gore of violence, death and destruction, an obscene parody of what God had intended. ... His bloodlust became insatiable. Lucifer abused his creative powers by creating a planet with a steamy, wet, tropical climate, a planet populated by dinosaurs, sea reptiles, flying serpents and other abnormal, grotesque creatures and monstrosities. ..."
Who knew? Now we do.
Royce, Zolot, you get an outstanding ten Alien Heads - so do your catholic friends in DFW, but I won't name names.
Well done. Carry on.
LSP
x10