Rev. "Meth" Flowers, a Sordid Tale of Criminality and Vice

Rev. "Meth" Flowers

It can't be easy being a Labour Councillor, a bank boss and a Methodist clergyperson, so what do you do? You know, to relieve the stress? For Rev. "Meth" Flowers the answer was apparently simple, party on down in an orgiastic haze of coke, ketamine, rent boys and speed.

Speed

According to U.K. press, "Meth" Flowers used company email while he was Chairman of the Co-op bank to hook up with male prostitutes that he took on expensive dinner dates, before  drug-fueled gay threesomes. 

Coke

The paunchy moneyman was certainly up for it, "I knew what he did for a living and couldn't believe how debauched he was," stated one rent boy, Ciaron Dodd, 21.

"Special K"

While "Meth" was boss of the Co-op, the bank merged with the Britannia Building Society, taking on multi-million pound bad debt that came to light during its recent abortive attempt to acquire 632 Lloyds bank branches. 

Fail

The Co-op's debt rating has been downgraded to "junk" status, and the failed bank now stands to lose 70% of it's business to a consortium of buccaneering U.S. Hedge Funds, including Aurelius Capital and other investors. 

"Meth" 

"Meth" has been downgraded too and was suspended from the Labour Party, despite giving the improbably named Ed "FiddyK" Balls, Labour's Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer, a donation of 50,000 pounds. 

FiddyK

Rev. "Meth" Flowers, who is under police investigation, is currently in hiding. You can read all about this sad and sordid tale of sleazy skulduggery here, here, here, and here.

Cheers,

LSP

Get That Franchi Instinct

Franchi Instinct L

GWB tipped up at the compound yesterday and before you could say "Archbishop Justin Welby's an Oil Shark!", there was an over and under on the mahogany. My philisophical friend had cleverly gone out and bought a Franchi Instinct L 20 gauge, and who can blame him?

Young Sharky

We took it out for a test drive today, rambling about in search of rabbits, who sensibly stayed under cover, and then slinging a box or so of skeet, country style. Just a lot of explosive fun and good practice. 

Old Sharky

I shot reasonably well, once I remembered to aim... and GWB was knocking the clays out of the air like a good 'un. But how did the Franchi perform? I took a couple of breaks from my cheap, but hey it works, Mossberg 835 Ulti Mag pump to find out.

Prince of Wales grip

I enjoyed shooting this gun; it's light, at 6.5 Ilbs, and comes quickly to the shoulder and to target.  I thought it looked good too, with traditional styling, case hardened finish on the receiver and no gaps between metal and wood. That said, the wood of the buttstock sits proud to the receiver by a millimeter or so, but I felt this was balanced out by well-defined, deeply cut checkering and A grade walnut furniture. Not a bad looking gun, but did it work?

dove feast

For sure, the Instinct functioned flawlessly over several hours of pretty much continuous shooting, with no misfires, failure to eject or mechanical problems. So that's alright then, but would I buy one? If I was looking for an over and under shotgun that costs $1149, yes, I think I would. 

The gun looks good, handles well and if you don't get carried away and forget to aim, it's perfectly capable of knocking the opposition out of the sky. Granted, it's not a $2000 plus firearm, but whoever said it was?

Shoot straight,

LSP

Borth

Borth

You may not know it but there's this small town in Wales called Borth. It's a short drive from Aberystwyth and seems to be pretty much controlled by older hippies who run all these overpriced junk antique shops, "galleries, and novelty cafes. Hippies are known for their thieving.

relaxing after a hard days thieving 

Borth also has sand dunes, which puts me in mind of Sting. Some people think that Sting's greatest cinematic performance was in Dune, others feel that he was even better in Brimstone and Treacle. But I won't judge, decide for yourself!

the genius of Sting

So go and visit Borth; it's just this little strip of hippie go-downs and a couple of pubs in a line facing the sea, right there on the Western edge of the Island.

edge of the world

Cheers,

LSP 

Brit Spy Found Dead in Bag

go on, try it at home

A British spy, Gareth Williams, was found dead inside a padlocked sports bag in an MI6 apartment in London. U.K.Police have ruled the death accidental. "Most probably it was an accident," stated London Police Deputy Assistant Commissioner, Martin Hewitt.

Gareth Williams was on secondment to MI6 from Government Communications Headquarters (GCHQ), and lived in MI6 provided housing in London. 20,000 pounds of unused women's clothing and shoes were found in Williams' not-so-safe house. 

The spy's DNA was not found on the locked sports bag in which he died.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

LSP

South London Pikers

South London Pike

I used to live in South London, a very, very, very long time ago, in what the English romantically call a "Tower Block", in a place not so far from Peckham. Hipsters live in Peckham now, strangely. Regardless, last week I overcame the psychic barrier that is the Thames and travelled South of the River to Lewisham.

Looking South

Before I knew it I'd RV'd with some old friends, climbed into a "motor" and was speeding(ish) towards Catford. We stopped on the edge of a tranquil pond as the sun was setting and the fish were starting to jump; country life, right there in the metroplex. Beautiful; a couple of rods later and we were casting for Pike and they were striking -- on my friend's lure anyway.

R with Pike

Thanks, R, for the rod and reel action.

Fish on.

LSP

Halloween

Skullmug

A church person once told me that Halloween was Satan's birthday. I tried to explain that it's just the Eve of all Hallows, the first night of the Triduum of All Saints, when Christians remember the faithful departed and the Saints. She wasn't buying. For her, Halloween was just a paean to Old Scratch.

This goof supports gay marriage because he's conservative, apparently.

Others think that Halloween isn't about the faithful departed, God, Satan, or anything else. They think it's Celtic. Some people have convinced themselves that the Celts were all about gay marriage, a bit like David Cameron but more tribal.

Scary As You Like

I won't comment, but I will leave you with a picture of a famous witch stateswoman; people are saying that she'll be President one day. Pretty scary, eh?

God bless,

LSP

Where's The LSP?!?

Good Old KLM

"Where's the LSP?" I hear you ask, in that worried, angsty kind of way.The answer's simple, Nairobi, London and now... Aberystwyth! "Aber" is a Welsh seaside town and a member of the famous rock band, the Scorpions, had a mansion here. He had to sell it when he started running out of ready money.

All Saint's Cathedral, Nairobi

Nairobi was interesting and made me want to go on a horse safari in the Great Rift Valley, which is the stuff of legend, mystery and adventure. You can do that for around the price of two return tickets from Calgary to Toronto, so I'm saving up. I liked the Anglican cathedral and the coffee, which was absurdly strong; useful if you're slaving away over a hot computer in the press room. 

Truculent

Then it was back to the endurance test that is modern air travel. When we got to Heathrow, via Schipol, the pilot announced that there'd be a delay while "Military Police" conducted a "security check." Two cops in flak jackets and machine guns boarded the plane; one stationed himself aft while the other advanced down the craft. He took an African woman off the plane. Hey. Welcome to England.

Someone, please, invite me on a horse safari.

That said, London was huge fun. The city's now home to all these novelty skyscrapers, which the comedic Brits have  given pet names to, like the Gherkin, the Shard, the Walkie-Talkie and so on. 

The Shard, built by Robot Hesse

The Walkie-Talkie's a menace and apparently caused fires during the summer by reflecting sunlight onto cars and trash, like a massive laser. Who knew that mad Sci-Fi Nazis had taken over Britain's architectural establishment?

Aberystwyth

Two days later I got to Aber. It was raining. I stood by the lighthouse and watched the waves crash into the pier.

More later.

LSP