Tom Sawyer

 

Do you like the awful Canadian(?) pop band, Rush? I don't, especially, but I do enjoy Tom Sawyer. Good work, boys.

Cheers,

LSP

The Erebus Diamond - Intro

 

We landed on a shelf of rock selected by autopilot, got out, planted the flag and cried, “For God, Harry, England and St. George.” Helliwell Axe.

"I would annex the planets if I could." Cecil Rhodes.

Being a series of narratives on space exploration and conquest.

As Lady Devonshire urged the grav bike to a throaty roar, she gave Brolly, her obsequious Welsh butler, a high-spirited swipe with her crop, "Hold on tight!" He was drunk, as usual, and hardly noticed. “Yes, Milady!” And so the sun rose over Phobos and Devonshire's Triumph Spectre lifted into the thin air of the recently terraformed Martian moon.

Fast wasn’t in it, and Brolly held on for dear life whilst the bike sped over rocky Phobian desert, arms tight around the driver's fur-clad waist. Beneath them, the sixteenth Erebus expedition toiled up the slopes of a towering mountain, a jagged remnant of the cataclysmic Jovian War. “Why walk when you can ride,” remarked Devonshire, glancing down at surly Venusian Sherpas. Brolly clenched his teeth against the biting cold. At this rate he’d soon be sober.

Sobriety aside, Phobos is the larger of the Martian moons but only some eleven miles in diameter, so it wasn’t long before the Triumph touched down on the parade square of the Residence. Neatly ranked sepoys stamped to attention and Major Hardman offered a brisk salute.

“Time for breakfast, Major?” enquired Devonshire, already striding to the plasteel dome of the Mess in her burnished Lobb's top boots. “Do keep up, Brolly,” snapped Devonshire as Hardman struggled with the door. In fairness, it wasn't every day that he was fortunate enough to welcome the heroine of Olympus Mons to his particular outpost of Empire. 

“Come on, Major, this air lock won’t open itself,” and then they were inside and seated at gleaming mahogany, battle honors hanging overhead like the triumphant standards they were. Nonplussed by regimental glory, Devonshire turned smartly to Hardman, “Major, about this diamond.”

“Diamond, Devo?”

“Yes, diamond. You know the matter exactly, don't play the fool.”

Hardman thought back to desperate scrimmages in the lava tubes of Mars, “We lost a lot of good men.”

“So, all the more reason to get it back.”

“But the Tongs, hardly pacified, eh?”

Yes, the terrorist Tongs of New China had been in a state of Huawei driven holy war since an Anglo-US expedition burned the Celestial Kingdom's vaunted Summer palace to the ground. "Bamboo burns quick," remarked Force Commander, Lord Kitchener VI at the time of the raid, and he wasn't wrong. Rice paper met Rods from God and all the incandescent fury of the British Lion and American Eagle combined. A bad day for the mandarins, indeed.

While Hardman reflected on the fight, he had seen the elephant, data streamed across Devonshire's eyes and she flashed the Major an enchanting smile. He knew that no was not an option. It was then that the bomb exploded. An Orderly, Corporal Tighe, was vapourized instantly, and the room sprayed with a deadly shrapnel of molten Mess silver.

Major Cornelius Hardman stood, the veteran of a thousand psychic and literal wars, brushing invisible lint from his immaculate dress blues. “No disrespect, Ma’am, but did I mention the Tongs were restless?” Lady Devonshire raised a perfect eyebrow of sheer artistry, “Quite. And I intend to have that diamond. Brolly! Coffee. Now.”

Thanks to nano second force deflectors, both Major and Devonshire were unscathed from the blast and proceeded to breakfast in the wreckage of the room, ignoring hustling servitor bots who busily repaired the splintered chaos and slaughter around them.

“I say, Devo, old girl, best meal of the day, what?”

“So they say, Major. I must and shall have that diamond. Would that be marmalade?”

Such is the indomitable spirit of Britannia’s far-flung Empire, an Imperium upon which the sun never sets.

With apologies to everyone who isn't mentioned in this short.

Ad Astra,

LSP

Just Taking a Break

 

Unlike Satan, I try to take some time off after Christmas and usually fly to Calgary, which is fun but wasn't on the cards because of the China Virus. So I pointed the rig at Dallas and went there instead. Big fun, presents, dogs, and family, and a delicious rib roast. 

The roast became a beef and mushroom pie on Boxing day, but that was after a haircut at Ramone's and a pint of Guinness at Cannon's.

Cannon's advertises itself as an Irish Pub and serves Irish style food, like bangers and mash, chicken curry and an "Irish Breakfast." The breakfast costs $18. 

We all went to Mass at St. Matthias on Sunday, and it was good to sit in the pew as incense rose like the prayers of the saints. I like that church and its Rector, and we made plans to go skeet shooting in the next week or so. Always fun to get out and blast away at the clay adversary.

And that, punters, is the story of that.

Cheers,

LSP

Dance Music

 

Your Pal,

LSP

Adeste Fidelis

 

Adeste Fidelis from the Front, and from KCC, which somehow still allows Christian music in its midst, bizarrely.

Hope you've all had the best of days. Here at Dallas HQ it was all about roast beef, Yorkshire Pudding and General Merriment.

Speaking of ranks, the PFC called in from Korea and was having fun, his team had a Christmas BBQ, involving ribs, and all was well.

God bless,

LSP

Merry Christmas!

 The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light.

O God, you have caused this holy night to shine with the brightness of the true Light: Grant that we, who have known the mystery of that Light on earth, may also enjoy him perfectly in heaven; where with you and the Holy Spirit he lives and reigns, one God, in glory everlasting. Amen.

 

Merry Christmas!

LSP

Austin Goes Lock Down

 

Austin, Texas, twinned with Portland, Seattle, Chengdu and San Francisco has gone full Level Five Lock Down, with city authorities telling people to stay at home and businesses to go "contactless." The recommendations come after a staggering rise in COVID related hospitalizations.

The Level Five emergency advisory followed Monday's catastrophic surge of 56 people reportedly admitted to area hospitals with the China Virus, bringing the total of WuFlu hospitalizations to 333 persons, of which 84 were in intensive care.

Here at the Compound, numerologists have been hard at work on the data and note that 333 is exactly half of 666, the notorious number of the Beast in St. John's Book of Revelation. Does this mean that Austin, the capitol of the Lone Star State, is half way to becoming a satrapy of Antichrist?

Possibly so, in which case it makes sense for the City's rulers to lock Austin down and lock it down hard. Go further, build a wall around the city and forbid movement in or out. It's for the good of the state and the country as a whole. C'mon man, be safe, spread hope.

In the meanwhile, Austin Mayor Steve Adler has nothing whatsoever to do with China, at all. Don't say stench of treason, chicanery and corruption.

Cheers,

LSP

Playing in the Band

 

Here at the Compound we play requests, and here's one, Playing in the Band, by the indomitable Dead. That said, are you on the bus or not? The bus being your chance to #StopTheSteal. #Jan6. 

Your call, be a serf, or not,

LSP

Rise Up

Thanks to the STAR, Texas was bright, warm and sunny this morning as I drove about the country, getting the job done. Hey, someone's got to do it. Christmas tasks over, I fell back to the Compound and wandered into the church hall to scout about.

Behold, it was decorated for the great Feast of the Incarnation, candy-cane style. I couldn't help myself, "Good Lord!" only to notice the author of this tremendous effort sitting on a bench, exhausted from the sheer intensity of the thing. We visited, and I thanked her for working so hard, and she bought us a pizza. Half peperoni, half "meat lovers." Delicious.

Unlike the recent Covid stimulus bill, which shovels billions into foreign and special interests while putting Americans precisely last. What does this tell us about our elected representatives? That they hate, despise and scorn you, the dirt people who pay their salaries? 

Well, yes, of course. But more than that, their income, the millions of dollars which buy their mansions, servants, and private jets, doesn't come from the pathetic amount of money you give them. 

Which, let's be honest, couldn't make up mortgage on their faux Versailles. No, it comes from the grift they get in office, obviously. 

Pitch Forks and Nooses down the Mall, eh?

Your Friend,

LSP

The Great Oz Porkulus

Well here we are in the Land of Oz, and when the curtain's pulled back what do we see? Our elite Overlords getting ready to vote on a massive China Virus stimulus bill. Good work, millionaires, about time you decided to help out people whose livelihoods have been wrecked by your electioneering lockdowns and business closures.

That's why the second largest bill in US history includes $14 million for the suffering Kennedy Center, $10 million for "gender programs" in, please don't laugh, Pakistan, and cash for for HIV/AIDS workers in foreign countries, so they can buy and insure new cars. To say nothing of billions in foreign money laundering aid. But you, the American, get $600. And think yourself lucky, serf. 

You can read all/some about it at PJ Media. In the meanwhile, what heinous, brazen, literal disregard for the people. Even AOC scorns it, unlike, say, Mitch McConnell. Hey, can't pay your rent, foreclosed? Don't worry, peasant, the EPA gets $33 million for new buildings, so sleep easy, dirt person.

Gentlemen and gentlewomen, have we reached the point at which our governance is so utterly corrupt and in such blatant disregard of the people who pay it to exist that we have to take action? If so, what? Voting, apparently, doesn't work anymore and neither do the courts.

I'd say there's trouble brewing, but that's just me. What's your take?

January 6,

LSP

News From Korea

 

For those interested, the PFC's doing well in Korea keeping the ravening Bolshevik hordes in check and went snow boarding the other day, courtesy of his battalion. He described the adventure thus:

"Dad, the Battalion sent us snow boarding last week."

"Well that's awesome."

"It was, and we were pretty high up, on a 400 foot slope. I went down at the same time as the Sergeant and looked over at him. What happens is that you go where you look, so I beelined across the mountain like a missile."

"And hit the Sergeant?"

"Yes, right on target! But all cool. He laughed. They filmed it."

Who knows, maybe we'll get to see that video, stay tuned. In other news, we talked about Solar Winds, rioting, insurrection, civil war and all of that. His response? "Put a Bradley on the street and watch those fkrs go down."

He has a point, and LL commented on the soldier's words in a reply to a post I took down because it didn't seem fair to leave you, the reader, with House of Pain on a Sunday. And I quote: "Nobody can doubt John's eloquence or his positive mental attitude." Well said.

And well done, kid. Sorry you can't come home for Christmas because of the scamdemic.

God bless,

LSP

Fight For Trump

...FIGHT FOR TRUMP - Save America, Save the World pic.twitter.com/4uHNNPmjLY

— KAGWAR 😼 (@KAGWAR2020) December 17, 2020

I'd say this short infovideo speaks for itself, but to drive the point home there's this, the wildly popular Democrat candidate. Look, here he is, behold the 80 million vote enthusiasm.

C'mon man! We're supposed to believe this rich old crook won the presidency by many millions of votes, more than any other person in the history of US history?

Go on, you're having a larf,

LSP