Artificial Intelligence

 

Note incorrect salute -- oh, maybe the RSF is Navy... hmmmm

Have you heard of these new supercomputer mind brains, artificial intelligences?  If you have or haven't, they're terrifyingly there and I asked one tonight, a Chatbot, "Write a story about the British Empire's expansion to the stars, Openai Chatbot."

What a sensible request and the happy bot replied:

Once upon a time, in an alternate reality, (ahem) the British Empire was not content with its earthly conquests. Its leaders and scientists were determined to expand their empire to the stars.

In the year 1875, a team of British scientists led by Professor James Rutherford unveiled their latest invention, a spacecraft capable of traveling beyond Earth's atmosphere. The spacecraft, named the HMS Victoria, was equipped with advanced technology that allowed it to withstand the harsh conditions of space travel.

Excitement and anticipation ran high as the British Empire announced its plans to launch the HMS Victoria on a mission to explore the solar system. The ship was manned by a crew of brave and skilled astronauts, led by Captain William Anderson.

As the HMS Victoria blasted off from Earth, it marked a new era of British dominance beyond the planet's surface. The ship journeyed through the asteroid belt, passed by Jupiter and its moons, and explored the depths of the Kuiper Belt.

The crew of the HMS Victoria encountered new life forms and planets with untold resources that could fuel the British Empire's expansion further. They made contact with aliens who welcomed them with curiosity and hospitality.

The British Empire's expansion to the stars was not without its challenges, as they also encountered hostile alien races and uncharted territories that threatened their survival. However, with their advanced technology and British ingenuity, the crew was able to overcome these obstacles.

As the HMS Victoria returned to Earth, the crew were hailed as heroes, and their achievements were celebrated by the entire British Empire. The British Empire's expansion to the stars had become a reality, and it marked the beginning of a new age of exploration and expansion beyond the boundaries of Earth.

With this new frontier, the British Empire had secured its place in history as the greatest empire that ever was, spanning not only the globe but the stars as well. And they looked to the future, knowing that there were still many more worlds and civilizations to explore, conquer and exploit.

 

Yes, there were giants in those days

Well done, Chatbot! See you at #1 Whitehall.

Ad Astra,

LSP

The Erebus Diamond - Intro

 

We landed on a shelf of rock selected by autopilot, got out, planted the flag and cried, “For God, Harry, England and St. George.” Helliwell Axe.

"I would annex the planets if I could." Cecil Rhodes.

Being a series of narratives on space exploration and conquest.

As Lady Devonshire urged the grav bike to a throaty roar, she gave Brolly, her obsequious Welsh butler, a high-spirited swipe with her crop, "Hold on tight!" He was drunk, as usual, and hardly noticed. “Yes, Milady!” And so the sun rose over Phobos and Devonshire's Triumph Spectre lifted into the thin air of the recently terraformed Martian moon.

Fast wasn’t in it, and Brolly held on for dear life whilst the bike sped over rocky Phobian desert, arms tight around the driver's fur-clad waist. Beneath them, the sixteenth Erebus expedition toiled up the slopes of a towering mountain, a jagged remnant of the cataclysmic Jovian War. “Why walk when you can ride,” remarked Devonshire, glancing down at surly Venusian Sherpas. Brolly clenched his teeth against the biting cold. At this rate he’d soon be sober.

Sobriety aside, Phobos is the larger of the Martian moons but only some eleven miles in diameter, so it wasn’t long before the Triumph touched down on the parade square of the Residence. Neatly ranked sepoys stamped to attention and Major Hardman offered a brisk salute.

“Time for breakfast, Major?” enquired Devonshire, already striding to the plasteel dome of the Mess in her burnished Lobb's top boots. “Do keep up, Brolly,” snapped Devonshire as Hardman struggled with the door. In fairness, it wasn't every day that he was fortunate enough to welcome the heroine of Olympus Mons to his particular outpost of Empire. 

“Come on, Major, this air lock won’t open itself,” and then they were inside and seated at gleaming mahogany, battle honors hanging overhead like the triumphant standards they were. Nonplussed by regimental glory, Devonshire turned smartly to Hardman, “Major, about this diamond.”

“Diamond, Devo?”

“Yes, diamond. You know the matter exactly, don't play the fool.”

Hardman thought back to desperate scrimmages in the lava tubes of Mars, “We lost a lot of good men.”

“So, all the more reason to get it back.”

“But the Tongs, hardly pacified, eh?”

Yes, the terrorist Tongs of New China had been in a state of Huawei driven holy war since an Anglo-US expedition burned the Celestial Kingdom's vaunted Summer palace to the ground. "Bamboo burns quick," remarked Force Commander, Lord Kitchener VI at the time of the raid, and he wasn't wrong. Rice paper met Rods from God and all the incandescent fury of the British Lion and American Eagle combined. A bad day for the mandarins, indeed.

While Hardman reflected on the fight, he had seen the elephant, data streamed across Devonshire's eyes and she flashed the Major an enchanting smile. He knew that no was not an option. It was then that the bomb exploded. An Orderly, Corporal Tighe, was vapourized instantly, and the room sprayed with a deadly shrapnel of molten Mess silver.

Major Cornelius Hardman stood, the veteran of a thousand psychic and literal wars, brushing invisible lint from his immaculate dress blues. “No disrespect, Ma’am, but did I mention the Tongs were restless?” Lady Devonshire raised a perfect eyebrow of sheer artistry, “Quite. And I intend to have that diamond. Brolly! Coffee. Now.”

Thanks to nano second force deflectors, both Major and Devonshire were unscathed from the blast and proceeded to breakfast in the wreckage of the room, ignoring hustling servitor bots who busily repaired the splintered chaos and slaughter around them.

“I say, Devo, old girl, best meal of the day, what?”

“So they say, Major. I must and shall have that diamond. Would that be marmalade?”

Such is the indomitable spirit of Britannia’s far-flung Empire, an Imperium upon which the sun never sets.

With apologies to everyone who isn't mentioned in this short.

Ad Astra,

LSP