Land of the Ice and Snow

It was a typical Christmas morning for me. Roosters crowing, dogs barking, Mexicans wearing Santa hats and getting in the Navidad spirit. I like all of that. Then I drove to Dallas, to spend Christmas with all the other ninjas in the DLC. I like that too.

And the table looks good, HQ style. I fly to the land of the ice and snow tomorrow. It's a tradition.

Have a great Feast and a Merry Christmas!

LSP

Felix Navidad!

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Navidad music fills the air, which is crisp and the stars are bright, and that's what it's like, here in Texas.

God bless you all,

LSP

Almost Christmas

While you're all recovering from Festivus and getting ready for Kwanzaa, I'm gearing up for the first Masses of Christmas, fortified by Huevos Rancheros, strong coffee, and corn tortillas.

Excuse me?

Here's some Austin Farrer to reflect on before Mass:

“WHEN Mary laid Jesus Christ upon her knees, when she searched him with her eyes, when she fed him at the breast, she did not study to love him because she ought, she loved him because he was dear: he was her Son. His conception had been supernatural, perplexing, affrighting; it had called for faith in the incomprehensible, and obedience beyond the limit of human power. His nativity was human and sweet, and the love with which she embraced it was a natural growth, inseparable from the thing she loved. She was blessed above all creatures, because she loved her Maker inevitably and by simple nature; even though it needed the sword—wounds of the Passion to teach her fully that it was her Maker whom she loved. The Son of Mary is the Son of all human kind; we embrace him with the love of our kind, that we may be led up with Mary to a love beyond kind, a selfless love for the supreme Goodness, when we too shall have climbed the ladder of the cross.”

I love that -- the Farrer, not the random dancing priestess, obviously.

God bless,

LSP

Protesters Shut Down Episcopal Church

Furious New Yorkers are protesting against the Episcopal Church (TEC). Rumors that TEC is richer than a trainload of Nazi gold are entirely true false.

Maybe NYPD will go out on strike. Yes please.

Festivus!

LSP

Festivus.

"Well, so-called LSP, how did you keep Festivus?" Good question and the answer's simple. I kept Festivus by eating BBQ.

But it was a sad celebration, because it marked the death of one of our Church Wardens. He was a good man. He'd been in the Army and was retired from Dallas PD; I used to greet him at church with a Brit-style salute and he'd always return a snappy American one. He loved guns too, especially Glocks, and I'd say:

"Look, you're Junior Warden, which means you're in charge of Buildings and Grounds."

"Yes, LSP, I am."

"Well then, I think we need to build a shooting house."

"Well I'll get right on it!"

We never did, sadly. Maybe memorial money can go towards that cause.

After the funeral Mass, an interesting looking older woman congratulated me on the service, so I suggested that she come to the Mission on Sundays. "No," she said emphatically. "Why not?" I asked. "Because I'm not an Episcopalian," she replied and I resisted the urge to say "neither are we," as she went on, "I am a Child of God." Her friend chimed in, "No you're not, you're a dam Hindoo."

Make of that what you will, and say a prayer for Loyd. He was an outstanding man with a kind and gentle spirit.

I do not say that lightly.

LSP

DeBlasio Must Go.

DeBlasio, you must resign. You are hated and despised. You have betrayed your civic trust and now you have to go. You are on the side of Jihad, of Ismaaiyl Abdullah Brinsley and Al Sharpton. There is no room for you here anymore. 

NYPD has turned its back on you and we have, too. You need to go while you can. There is blood on your hands. NYPD BA Patrick Lynch summed it up:

“We tried to warn it must not go on. It cannot be tolerated, That blood on the hands starts on the step of City Hall in the office of the mayor. When these funerals are over, those responsible will be called on the carpet and held accountable.”

Jihad Jackass

DeBlasio, you have been called. You must not be allowed to prospect for votes at the cost of lives. You must go.

We scorn and despise you.

LSP

Advent IV or Yule?

You have a choice today. You can celebrate the 4th Sunday of Advent or you can celebrate the Winter Solstice, which pagans like to call Yule.

Being a Christian, I celebrated Advent IV and reflected on the Virgin Mary, who some people think is "an ordinary Jewish girl," or maybe a dead Roman Catholic. I'd say she wasn't that ordinary and that she intercedes for us in heaven. That would make her catholic but not dead. Others, like Mr. Chick, think she's a Babylonian demon. That's stupid as well as blasphemous.

But that's just me. Some, perhaps many of you, would rather celebrate Yule today and dance around fires while praying to the Horned God.

Go right ahead, but don't say you weren't warned when you wake up inside a Wicker Man. And it's on fire.

God bless,

LSP

Liturgical Dance Will Build Your Church

It's not easy. You want to build your congregation and you know that Liturgical Dance is the way forward. But how do you get there? Simple, sign up for a workshop at Abbey of the Arts. This is what you get, for a mere $375:

"Together we will explore how the healing power of such tools as guided imagery, body awareness, dream work, ritual, poetry, journal writing, visual art, movement, song, and storytelling enrich our own spiritual lives and our work in spiritual direction by giving us access to another language with which to encounter the divine presence within. Participants will develop comfort and skills in using these tools."

Some people think that there's a lot of "dream work" and "story telling" in the church as it is, to say nothing of anything else.

Fascists.

LSP

The Curse of the Diocese of Gloucester

In today's fast-paced, equal opportunities church, there's nothing that breathes the sweet smell of success to a career clergyperson than being promoted to bishop. Well, unless you're unfortunate enough to become the Bishop of Gloucester.

Puritans Rigging up a Curse

That's because the ancient See of Gloucester has been under a curse since Laud, as Dean, dared to set up altar rails, provoking Puritan fury. 

The curse of Gloucester has apparently been active in recent decades. 

Bishop Michael Perham, a noted progleft shill and enthusiastic supporter of women's ordination retired from the troubled diocese after allegations of "indecent assault" against several young women in the 1980s. However, the case against him was dropped after police found no grounds for further action.

Perham's predecessor, Bishop Peter Ball, also had to leave the cursed See in 1993, after admitting to an act of "gross indecency" with a 19 year man. Ball was arrested this November over allegations of sex abuse with 8 boys during the 1980s and early '90s.

So we have to ask, what fortunate member of the Church of England's Talent Pool will get promoted to the poisoned See?

The bets are on.

LSP

Texas Open Carry

When people think of Texas they imagine cowboys, big skies and a Wild West, six gun spirit. Something like this:

"Nearly every man we met with in travelling was armed with a knife, seven-shooter, and double-barrelled shot-gun," stated Brigadier General W.E. Strong, after patrolling Texas with a cavalry force in 1866.

Unsurprisingly, this didn't sit well with the occupying Reconstruction government and Texans were disarmed by the Act to regulate the keeping and bearing of deadly weapons of 1871, leading to the following complaint:

"The police and State guards are armed, and lord it over the land, while the citizen dare not, under heavy pain and penalties, bear arms to defend himself, unless he has reasonable grounds for fearing an unlawful attack on his person, and that such grounds of attack shall be immediate and pressing. The citizen is at the mercy of the policeman and the men of the State Guard, and that too, when these bodies of men embrace in them some of the most lawless and abandoned men in the State, many of whom are adventurers--strangers to the soil--discharged or pardoned criminals..."

Make of that what you will and note that today's ban on openly carrying sidearms in Texas is based on the 1871 Act. Government, it seems, doesn't like to relinquish control over its subjects.

But that looks set to change, with 6 Bills up before Texas' state legislature proposing a repeal of post-Civil War disarmament. Governor Greg Abbott has pledged to sign open carry into law as soon as the relevant bill lands on his desk. Until then, here's Sam Houston, Commander-in-Chief of the Army of Texas, writing in 1835:

"[T]he Dictator required the surrender of the arms of the civic militia, that he might be enabled to establish, on the ruins of the Constitution, a system of policy which would forever enslave the people of Mexico. Zacatecas, unwilling to yield her sovereign rights to the demand, which struck at the root of all liberty, refused to disarm her citizens of their private arms. Ill-fated State! her power, as well as her wealth, aroused the ambition of Santa Anna, and excited his cupidity. Her citizens became the first victims of his cruelty, while her wealth was sacrificed in payment for the butchery of her citizens. The success of the usurper determined him in exacting from the people of Texas submission to the Central form of Government; and, to enforce his plan of despotism, he despatched a military force to invade the Colonies, and exact the arms of the inhabitants. The citizens refused the demand, and the invading force was increased. The question then was, shall we resist oppression and live free, or violate our oaths, and wear a despot's stripes?"

Gun rights,

LSP

Madonna, Illuminati Witch

Fabled pop icon, Madonna, has claimed that celebrity New World Order libs, like Oprah, aren't members of her secret occultist group, the Illuminati.

Of course.

They're not occultists.

Not for a minute.

Unlike Madonna, who is a well-known witch. Here's what she has to say in her new album:

"Teach me how to pray, and we can do drugs, and we can smoke weed, and we can drink whiskey. 'Yeah we can get high, and we can get stoned, and we can sniff glue, and we can do E, and we can drop acid," sings Madonna on her track 'Make the Devil Pray.'"

The Vatican is calling for more Exorcists. For obvious reasons.

Nice grill, Madonna. Vade Retro Satana,

LSP

Dog #2

This dog hates celebrity socialist millionaires and their progleft, Illuminati friends. He hates wimmin bishops, too.

Obviously,

LSP