Friday, September 20, 2019

All The News That's Fit To Print

What a blizzard of news. Where to begin? Let's start with a superstar celebrity actor who identifies as female, millionaire socialist Megan Fox.

She's dismayed that her son's being bullied at school, which is why she persists in sending him there dressed as a girl. Smart or what, Megan, but that's not all. Canada's Premiere has been exposed as a serial blackfacer. 

Will Justin "Minstrel" Trudeau be dethroned from the Great White North's rainbow dais only to become Governor of Virginia? Time will tell.

Further afield, the US Navy, in a rare moment of candor, has admitted that three videos of UAPs (Unexplained Aerial Phenomenon) are real. Like no joke, here are these craft the Navy can't explain performing gymnastics in front of fighter pilots, and it's real. 

So where are they from? Good question, as is this. Will the comet that's approaching our solar system slow down when it gets here? If it does we might be glad of a powerful Space Force.

All this to say nothing of millions of children being taken out of school across the globe to have breakdowns about The Weather. Some call it child abuse, others wonder why the organizers love abortion, just think of the children. But here at the Compound we wonder how many weather strikers are boys, miserably forced to wear frocks by their witch mothers.

But not to worry, Biden's interests in the Ukraine are safe as leaking houses, the Wall's being built, and there's a rumor of rain in Texas.

Please, God, let this last thing be true.

Your Old Friend,



Jules said...

Love the first one! Hahaha! Tosser. Talking of tossers Captain Blackface screwed up there! Again. He was on BBC news floundering his apology. I must say it made my cocoa pops taste much nicer!
It is a primal instinct for humans to bully that which makes us uncomfortable and seen as a threat to... gender? Get a grip, Megan Foxtrot.

Jim said...

Need rain? You may have ours. We had our normal annual precipitation total reach in June and have gone way past it since. It's supposed to rain all weekend and we're under a flash flood watch again.

Kid said...

Parson, good luck on the rain. I also wish for rain here in Cincinnati.

The news flow is so absurd I don't even know much what to say about it anymore.

In the UK, The NHS, which can't even take care of sick people has been tasked with mandatory gender reassignment - surgical- for people 3 yrs old and up. And they already have a 2 year waiting list.

Imagine being a parent willing to think a 3 year old has the slightest concept of gender. I hope most of them do some payback on the parents when they're old enough to realize what has been done to them.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Climate change. Imagine if the Mafia had gotten hold of it? they would make the current crop of grifters look like the fools they are.

LL said...

Houston floods out EVERY SINGLE YEAR. How does that count as climate change?

LL said...

You didn't discuss Slow Joe Biden vs Corn Pop in a cage match. You didn't cover ALL of the news that's fit to print.

Old NFO said...

Raining up here.

LSP said...

Juliette, we badly need a column in the Sport, because awesome. Let's get on that. Then there's Justine and Megan. For goodness sake, are these people Trumpist double agents?

Might as well be. Cocoa Pops are racist, btw, badly racist. Report yourself.

LSP said...

Oh Jim, please send it our way. In the meanwhile, be careful.

LSP said...

Kid, you know it's gonna happen. How's that tolerance going to look in the face of a generation of suicidal Nazis?

LSP said...

Odd you'd say that, WSF. I was thinking Mafia and Cartel. Hmmmm.

LSP said...

Dammit, LL, you got me there. Attention to detail. But here's the thing.

Houston's notorious for a lesbian Mayor, so they don't get climate change, and Corn Pop's going to be our, ahem, next President.

LSP said...

Wish it was here, NFO. Parched and waiting for the storm.