Friday, November 30, 2012

Russians Force Madonna to Cover Face!

Bear Cav

Aging pop icon, Madonna, has been given the thumbs down by outraged citizens of St. Petersburg, Russia.

Illuminati Witch?

Provoked by the threat of the once youthful singer revealing her time ravaged body, angry Russians took the Material Girl to court in an attempt to prevent her from appearing on stage. 

"I heard at the concerts on this tour she pulled off her tights, and we will not have that here. We warn the organizers of the concert so that everything goes well. Otherwise they will face the harsh laws of St. Petersburg," said a concerned member of the public, Vitaly Milonov.

Forced to hide her face

Described by some plaintiffs as a "degenerate Illuminati witch", Madonna failed to appear in the closet sized St. Petersburg Court and was acquitted by Judge Vitaly Barkovsky after a 5 hour hearing.

Mistress Chronos frowns upon Madonna

However, the pint-sized former beauty was forced to wear a balaclava to cover her face during her performance. 

It is unclear whether further charges will be brought against the Michigan born singer.

Kick out the jams.


I Hate Strip Malls

our new town center

In the olden days, when the Cause was living memory, the trains went to Hillsboro and business flourished in the center of town. Then things changed. Passenger rail went out of style as people took to the highways in their motors and business moved out of town, leaving it a hollowed out, semi-derelict wreck.

another town the yankees wrecked

But look, all's not lost! We have a new town center, sprung up strip mall style on either bank of I35. That's going out of business too.

the old station, now a "visitors bureau" whatever that is.

I like to escape our merry little rural dystopia by driving out of town a short way to see my horse and go for a ride, preferably at great speed.

Powerful therapy and, you never know, maybe a useful skill.

Happy Feast of St. Andrew. 


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

The Bishop's Father

Gavin Welby, born Bernard Weiler

According to some newspaper(s), the new Archbishop of Canterbury's father was a Jewish feather merchant from Ruislip, which is a kind of London suburb, who emigrated to New York during World War I. He reinvented himself as a liquor salesman while hinting at a fictitious aristocratic pedigree. Then, during the evil days of Prohibition, he prospered as a kind of bootlegger and made his way back to England where he had several adventures, including marriage to Winston Churchill's secretary. He was sued by a Baronet, apparently, and died pretty much alone in an apartment in Kensington. 

grey space creature

His Archepiscopal son thinks his father was "alcohol dependent" and claims to be shocked at the revelation of his "secret life."

anglican bishop

Well look, Welby's Guv'nor was a rogue but at least he wasn't possessed by the spirit of a Grey Alien space creature. And he was interesting. And he managed to send his kid to Eton.

Eton was a seminary of sorts, before the protestants got their mitts on it.

I'm off for a ride now. Carry on.


Saturday, November 24, 2012

Tree Hippies

One of the things that hippies like to do is live in trees. They want to get away from the "Man" so they climb up trees and make these shelters, where they live.

shake the hippie out of the tree

French police are trying to shake the hippies out of the trees because they're making a mess. When the hippies are gone the French will build an airport and the forest will be gone, as will the hippies.

dancing hippies

I like the last part of that equation.

Here in Texas we're working pretty hard to transport the hippies out of Austin and into California. San Francisco, to be precise, where they belong.


Friday, November 23, 2012

Black Friday

Being in a mood to live out my own small slice of the American Dream, I figured I'd better go out and buy something on Black Friday. I wasn't sure what to expect, maybe there'd be fierce Drudge inspired mobs of people in a shopping frenzy, getting ready to "kick off", as some of my English friends might say.

So I went to the local Dallas Best Buy to find some action and sure enough, there were plenty of people buying things. No riots though, even the cops standing guard at the door seemed full of good spirits, as were the shoppers. I tried to find a Digital Audio Converter (DAC) and failed, then browsed around the hi-fi -- audio's really moved on in the past few years, leaving me sadly out of date. Maybe I'll save up the money and upgrade the stereo, I thought to myself, and didn't buy anything.

Puchaseless, I cruised around the barrio in the truck, wondering at the Lexus in front of me. Redistribute the wealth, yo.

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and, of course, Feast of St. Clement.



Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Mayflower Pilgrims were Calvinists, escaping from Stuart despotism in England in order to start a new life in a new world. I suppose they gave thanks to God on the first Thanksgiving for their escape from the evils of bishops and kings, perhaps too for their assurance of final perseverance and election to heaven. 

I abhor Calvinism and find it strange that Christians who believe God to be a loving and merciful Father should ascribe a wickedness to Him infinitely in excess of the worst imaginable human parent. Viz. From all eternity he chooses some for damnation and others for salvation. Nasty bit of work, the Genevan devil-god and so maybe we shouldn't be surprised that  the Pilgrim's New England descendants turned Unitarian within a century or so of landing in America.

That aside, have a great Thanksgiving. I'm off to the Dallas compound to beat up on some turkey. 



Wednesday, November 21, 2012


You probably think that LSPland is this spurious mix of aliens, apes, Cossack Bear Cav, horses, guns and not particularly subtle attacks on hippies, wimmin priests and their lib friends. Perhaps you're thinking "LSP is incapable of serious thought."

some goof in a bad miter

Well, you might have a point, but here's something different. An excellent description of priesthood which I've lifted from Fr. Michael Gollop's thoughtful blog, Let Nothing You Dismay. It's written by Fr. Alexander Lucie-Smith for the U.K.'s Catholic Herald.

"The priesthood is not a caring profession as such; it is a rather different line of work. In fact it is not work or a job at all. The priest exists for one thing and one thing only; all his other activities are icing on the cake; the priest is there to climb Mount Calvary and offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. He is there to say hoc est enim corpus meum (“This is my body”). That is his one purpose, though he may fulfill many others as well. But amid the multitude of tasks, the centrality of the Eucharistic Sacrifice must not be lost sight of."

"... the priest is there to climb Mount Calvary and offer the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass."

I'd say that puts it perfectly. You can read the whole thing here, if you like.

God bless,


Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Blood on the Floor of the Synod

It's not easy being a senior female clergyperson in the Church of England these days. You want power, real power, not the pale imitation that comes with being an Archdeacon, or even a Dean. No, you want the real thing, you want to be a bishop.


And it was so close, so very, very close. Friends were knitting presentation vestments, you've spotted that ring, the gold one that you've always wanted, and Watts has sized you up for a miter. The Episcopal Palace has been redecorated at least a dozen times, in your mind. You almost live there already!

living the dream

Then, today, the dream came crashing down. The Church of England's House of Laity said no. Maybe, in 5 years time, when the Measure resurfaces, you'll be retired and the Christian world will heave a sigh of relief.

a woman "bishop"

Well done, Laity. Bad show, Bishops and Clergy.

COE, you've dodged a bullet. But remember, Hell hath no fury...


On the Road

LSP drives into Town

It seems to me that Dallas was faced with a decision, probably after World War II. "How and where do we want to live?" the City Fathers asked themselves, "In a city, or on a road?" City, Road? That was the question and the answer came back emphatically. "Road!" they chanted and roads they got.

It came as a culture shock after England, where people still, I think, walk about their towns and cities. But regardless of the ways of what used to be Great Britain, I find myself spending an awful lot of time on the road. 

Speaking of which, Jack Kerouac was a Mass-going catholic, as was Andy Warhol. Apparently Warhol was a daily communicant, amongst other less pleasant things. I'd never have guessed.

Drive safe,


Monday, November 19, 2012

Gun Safety

I'm all for 2nd amendment rights, obviously. But some people shouldn't be allowed to have guns, or shoot them.

You see?


Horse Worship

One of the things I like to do, when not browsing Russian nationalist websites in search of Bear Cav pics, is to go riding. It's good for mind, body and spirit, provided, of course, that you don't come off at a full-tilt gallop and break.

Speaking of which, I've been working JB at the slower gaits, walk and trot, around mesquites and small trails  in the brush. The objective being to build her fitness, confidence, response to aids and overall unity with the rider after a couple of months of not being ridden.

spurious target photo...

The principle's simple enough -- make it easy for the horse to do what you want it to do and hard for the creature to do the opposite. I guess you could translate that into church terms.

Say a Solemn High Mass and get a reward.

Say a Clown Mass and ________ Well, fill in the blank.

The Western Church has a liturgy, it just needs to use it.


Saturday, November 17, 2012

Bear Cavalry

Some people have foolishly thought they could invade and conquer Russia.

Perhaps they thought they would win through their enemy's inclination towards hard liquor.

Maybe they didn't factor in Bear Cavalry.

Bad mistake.



Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Leave, Hippies.

State after state is joining the wildfire grass roots movement to leave the Union, and who can blame them? Texas is leading the pack, with over 90,000 people signing a petition to exit the United States.

Typical Austin "Street Art"

But one Texan town is holding out against the popular surge of anti-Washington sentiment. Austin, home to Texas' vibrant music scene and thousands of hippies, wants to stay put in the land of hopium. 

Austin Hippies Acting Up

According to the Daily Caller, Austin's hippies have signed a counter petition, threatening to leave the Lone Star State if it leaves the Union.

Fleeing Texas

Off you go then, hippies. Use the back door.

No exceptions.



I had to go to a place called Plano today, for a church meeting. The meeting was good, though I had to leave early to visit a man in hospital.


Plano has been described as, "Like Planet of the Apes but without the apes."

Laughing Ape Soldiers

In Planet of the Apes, humans are enslaved by apes in a post-apocalyptic world. Somehow that seems appropriate to far North Dallas.



Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Putting The Hurt On, Sorry, Petraeus

No one's talking much about a Benghazi cover-up anymore, they're too busy thinking about the Petraeus sex scandal, or "Cloak and Shagger" as the New York Post trenchantly announced to the world. For what it's worth, I think it's a tragedy for the former head of the CIA, his family and doubtless for Broadwell too. I wish, for their sakes, that it hadn't happened, but it did and notice the timing.

It's odd, isn't it, that Petraeus announced his resignation the same day Fox News reported that the Foreign Affairs Committee was going to call him to testify. 

Testify about what? About the Administration's actions, or lack of them, concerning its CIA annex and Mission in Libya. We were told repeatedly that it was "the film's fault." Not dissimilar, when you come to think about it, to a child confronted with a crime claiming that "a ghost did it."

In this case, the "ghost" was Mark Bassely and "white witch" Hilary Clinton was more than willing to use him as a scapegoat. “We’re going to have that person arrested and prosecuted,” she told Charles Woods, father of killed SEAL Tyrone Woods.

Lo and behold, Mark Bassely was duly rounded up and found to be in violation of a parole order forbidding him to use the internet. He's in jail for a year, unlike all those other people with minor parole infringements who aren't.

Or the government, who are notoriously free at large.

As the King James Version puts it, the whole affair stinketh.