Space Alien Bishop Held In Catholic Basement!

The Roman Catholic Church moved swiftly to protect itself from space alien attack when a prominent off-worlder, the Andrus, attempted to infiltrate the installation of Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone at St. Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco on Thursday, October 4.

Busted!

After arriving at the cathedral, the Andrus, who refers to itself as "Bishop of the Diocese of California," was detained by security in the church's basement, preventing it from joining an entrance procession of religious leaders. 

Just goofing off

According to the Andrus' account of its experience in the basement, the alien confronted its guard saying, "I think I understand and think I should leave." The space creature then left the building in what some witnesses have called a "quiet rage."

Cordileone

On October 1, the Andrus attacked Cordileone and made an appeal for Roman Catholics to join its gay-friendly space community.

"I will not change my course with regard to the full inclusion of all people in the full life of the church. I hope that public disagreements can be handled respectfully and that criticisms of public statements may be met with mutual respect. Some Catholics may find themselves less at home with Salvatore Cordileone’s installation and they may come to The Episcopal Church. We should welcome them as our sisters and brothers."

It makes Yewkrist.

In contrast with the Andrus, Archbishop Cordileone defends the human point of view that marriage is between a man and a woman and claims that this is sanctioned by God.

Sunday attendance in the Episcopal Diocese of California declined by 15% from 2002-2009, its parent body, the Episcopal Church is currently losing 50,000 members a year.

Ad Astra!

LSP

Women Love Putin, Obama's Not So Hot

It's official, Russian presidential strongman, Vladimir Putin, is about to turn 60 and the women love him. According to the U.K's left-leaning The Independent newspaper, 1 in 5 Russian women want to marry the animal loving head of state. But not all of the former Communist country's women are smitten with their virile premier.

Female punk band Pussy Riot, who screamed out "Mother Mary, please drive Putin away!" in Moscow's Christ the Savior cathedral, are currently incarcerated for hooliganism driven by religious hatred. 

Former Ukrainian Prime Minister, Yulia Tymoshenko, is also in jail. Tymoshenko, who rose to political power through her leading role in the Ukraine's Orange Revolution, is married to a businessman. She has not expressed a desire to marry Putin, despite his statements that she is innocent.

U.S. President, Obama, was described in The Nation in 2008 as "so cool he's hot" has lost his sex-appeal following an empty suit performance during his Thursday debate against Republican rival Romney.

Unlike Putin, Obama shows no interest in guns and horses.

LSP

Piers Morgan, Illuminati Dupe Sycophant

I know everyone's talking about last night's debate and the way high altitude messed up the President's performance. But my mind strays to Piers Morgan. In his own words:

"Wake up and smell the cappuccino everyone... But let's not fear this new world order, let's embrace it."

What a willing Bilderberger, Illuminati dupe sycophant.

Sorry, old news. Just had to get it off my chest.

So kick out the Jams. In this case, all the way back to England.

LSP

US Debt Soars. Now What?

As of the first day of fiscal year 2013, US debt stood at an outstanding $16,159,487,013,300.35, or 103% of GDP and rising at a handy 1.5% per month. You can read all about it on ZeroHedge if you've a mind to.

But what happens when you spend more than you have and end up massively in debt? Detroit happens.

Which reminds me of a time, long ago, when I was taking an English friend across the river from Windsor to visit the Motor City and its suburb, Troy. We reached the US border and the usual questions.

"Where you headed?"

"Troy, officer."

"Anything to declare?"

"Just me and my wooden horse, sir," quipped my English friend.

"What?"

"Nothing, officer."

There's a moral in that, if you care to draw it.

But carry on, nothing to worry about here.

LSP

Pius XII and the Lee Enfield

Pius XII said this:

“We belong to the Church militant; and she is militant because on earth the powers of darkness are ever restless to encompass her destruction. Not only in the far-off centuries of the early church, but down through the ages and in this our day, the enemies of God and Christian civilization make bold attack on  the Creator’s supreme dominion and sacrosanct human rights.”

I like that. Here's a picture of a Lee Enfield.

I like that too.

LSP

Sioux Nation Sucedes

Just learned via Drudge that the mighty Sioux Nation has left the Union. Well, what can we say?

Come on Texas, get a move on.

Cheers,

LSP

Anglican Church of Canada Declines, Members Sing and Dance!

Faced with over 50 years of continuous decline, graying membership, a second quarter deficit of 900,000 "loonies" and a mere 320,000 pewsitters per Sunday, dioceses and parishes across the Anglican Church of Canada (ACoC) are being forced to take drastic measures.

Justice Camp. That'll pack 'em in!

The Diocese of Toronto is advertising Justice Camp, where the people sing. Here's an excerpt, to the tune of My Favorite Things, apparently:

Meeting with Linda, with movers & shakers,
Activists, greenies, and health-and peace-makers,
MP’s and editors, right on the ball,
Help us respond to our fai-aithful call.
Postcards and letters and online petitions,
Rallies and sit-ins with local musicians,
Scripture reminds us to take care of all-
Working for justice can be such a ball!

Refrain 

When our greed strikes,
When our fears roar,
When we’re feeling proud,
We simply remember our fai-aithful call -
And then we can speak out loud!

Catchy, isn't it.

Some churches have turned to liturgical dance in a desperate bid to feel good, despite all those empty pews.

note the disgruntled 'subdeacon'...

And the circle just gets wider, unless you're a trad, in which case the Diocese of Huron evicts you and puts concrete blocks in front of your church so no one can get in.

Well done ACoC. Now no one gets to go to St. Hildas's. 

ACoC looks set to continue on its current trajectory away from earth and into the stellar void of deep space.

Thanks, Samizdat, for the stats and pics.

God bless.

LSP

Dialing in the Lee Enfield Sporter

It's all very well restoring a rifle but the question is, will it shoot? With that in mind I took the newly minted sporter to the range, only to find a tree blocked the path. I moved that and set up at 25 yards to dial in the scope, bore-sighting the old fashioned way, because I've been too parsimonious to buy a laser, and using the tailgate as a rest. Must get some kind of sled to put the guns on in future.

warrior on the edge of the tailgate - note cloak of invisibility

I was nervous as I took the first couple of shots. Would the gun blow up? Would the lovingly shaped and polished forestock splinter into a deadly hail of wooden shrapnel on bearing the shock of the mighty .303 Brit? For that matter, would the thing shoot straight at all after my expert gunsmithing...

getting there...

I needn't have worried. The rifle got on paper quicly, which is a good testimony to peering down the bore with the bolt removed and shot some reasonablegroups from 50 and 75 yards. Performed well offhand at a steel ram at 100.

Due to time and ammo constraint I cut the exercise a little short but I'll return with a few boxes of the right stuff and finish the job. But not a bad result at all.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Sporterizing the Lee Enfield Porch Project -- All Scoped Up & Ready To Go

It took some time, a little patience and an amount of sanding, but the venerable SMLE is finally ready to shoot.

getting ready for bed

The ATI scope mount was easy to install along with 1" medium Weaver rings from Walmart, it's topped off with a Burris Fullfield that I found second hand at a local gunshop for $50.

Now I won't bore you with the rationale behind the project other than to say that  SBW put me up to it and it seemed like a good idea -- get a beat up old sporter with some fine Empire history behind it and turn the rifle into a handy shooter with 10 rounds of .303 power. A custom gun on a budget, sort of thing.

apply the safety, for goodness sake

So how much did it cost? Less than something plastic from Walmart, with the added satisfaction of having a hand in its making.

I'll dial it in at the range tomorrow.

Thanks, Bushwacker, for the inspiration and Lukeya for chivvying me on...

Cheers,

LSP

Modern Art, Some Kind of Joke?

Aluminium Road

It's not all about guns and horses in LSPland. There's church, obviously, and trucks. But let's not forget Art and a sister that drove me away from the sensible task of weapons cleaning to visit something called the Nasher, which is a kind of modern art museum in Dallas.

sister playing about in the art

Off we went and there was modern art in all its glory. I especially liked "Aluminium Road" which evidently "captured the essence and quality of road" in a series of cast aluminium ingots placed stairwise, as though ascending to something that wasn't defined. Who knows, we ask, where the "stair" will take us as life's road climbs higher into the ineffable Other.

Such rubbish..

So here's a picture of some Selous Scouts to set things right.

Selous

Dove hunting later followed by birds on the grill and some rabbit.

God bless,

LSP

Snap Back to Reality

Some people, from England, feel that I've lived in Texas for too long and have lost touch with reality.

some kind of hat

That's absurd. You can't live too long in Texas.

put the guns in the truck, LSP

It has trucks.

defend that laptop!

It has guns.

just taking it easy in the arena

It has horses.

Sounds pretty real to me.

In nanny state England you can't even own a pistol.

Just sayin',

LSP

From Here To Qeternity

descent of the damned

Acting in solidarity with those unfortunate enough to have money deposited in Spanish banks, I decided   to cash out my spare change box, while the pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters it held still had some kind of value.

LSP savings and loans

I'd use that money, I figured, to buy some epoxy and blue tape to bed the barreled receiver of my Lee Enfield Mk. III sporter. But quickly! Before tape and steel putty cost a bergan full of worthless magicke currencie.

With a sense of fiscal cliff urgency I drove to the local supermarket, box of change in hand, and loaded it into Coinstar, which turns your metal money into a redeemable IOU, for a fee.

how much does it cost?

I didn't care about the fee. I just wanted the money, fast, while it could still buy something. So I emptied the box into the machine. Clang, clunk, went the cash. $53.65 went the Coinstar, on its screen, and then it stopped working. "Sorry, I've seen your money, but I can't give it to you," stated the mechanical thief.

"Customer Service" was no use because the talent was busy talking to a policewoman about a picture on his CCTV (close circuit television) and I began to panic. Would I ever get my money? Will I get arrested for asking? I got the cash and avoided prison, in the end, and by some miracle Coinstar Currency still had fractional buying power.

oh. dear.

But don't worry. If we print enough money then everyone will become rich!

Just like in Rhodesia Zimbabwe.

LSP