Monday, October 8, 2012

Space Alien Bishop Held In Catholic Basement!

The Roman Catholic Church moved swiftly to protect itself from space alien attack when a prominent off-worlder, the Andrus, attempted to infiltrate the installation of Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone at St. Mary's Cathedral in San Francisco on Thursday, October 4.

After arriving at the cathedral, the Andrus, who refers to itself as "Bishop of the Diocese of California," was detained by security in the church's basement, preventing it from joining an entrance procession of religious leaders. 

Just goofing off
According to the Andrus' account of its experience in the basement, the alien confronted its guard saying, "I think I understand and think I should leave." The space creature then left the building in what some witnesses have called a "quiet rage."

On October 1, the Andrus attacked Cordileone and made an appeal for Roman Catholics to join its gay-friendly space community.

"I will not change my course with regard to the full inclusion of all people in the full life of the church. I hope that public disagreements can be handled respectfully and that criticisms of public statements may be met with mutual respect. Some Catholics may find themselves less at home with Salvatore Cordileone’s installation and they may come to The Episcopal Church. We should welcome them as our sisters and brothers."

It makes Yewkrist.
In contrast with the Andrus, Archbishop Cordileone defends the human point of view that marriage is between a man and a woman and claims that this is sanctioned by God.

Sunday attendance in the Episcopal Diocese of California declined by 15% from 2002-2009, its parent body, the Episcopal Church is currently losing 50,000 members a year.

Ad Astra!


1 comment:

Silverfiddle said...

Another brilliant piece, Parson.

Salvatore Cordileone, the man has a name that just oozes Italian papist Mafia, doesn't he?