Amazonian Guard - Update

Despite being friends with just about everyone, The Colonel is now dead, after being pulled out of a sewer and shot. 

Here's some of The Colonel's friends.

But the question is, what happened to his elite female fighting force, the famous Amazonian Guard?

Some speculated that they would die to the last woman, like fanatical "last-ditch Nazis" and that special Navy SEAL commandos would be tasked to take them out. That wasn't necessary.

It seems the Amazons mostly melted away, though some fought and others were taken prisoner. According to the Daily Mirror several of them were forced to do the unspeakable with The Colonel, his sons and various henchmen. 

They're gone now, and so is their Leader.

I guess that's progress.

LSP

New Pastures

God bless Texas

After our 18 mile Trek - don't take it lightly - JB's now fairly well at home in her new pasture. We rode out today, Western style. I like that because it makes for a safer seat on an unpredictable horse. For example, JB could be going along at a steady trot, then she picks up a fast canter or a hand gallop. Fine, you think, all going well. But then she stops dead in her tracks and surges forward in a new direction, all of her own making. Ducking out, or something like that. If you're riding English the danger is that you'll go "over the handle bars" when the horse stops. You're going forward, she's not. With a Western saddle your forward momentum is stopped by the pommel. Shouldn't be necessary, I know, but better safe than sorry.

I'll go as fast as you like

With that in mind, we had a good ride, after some bronc, kick an offending dog out of the way adventure.  In other news, everyone knows that The Colonel is now dead, shot on the hood (?) of a pickup.

Amazonian Guard - Excelsior.

But, but, wasn't he our friend?

Stay on the horse.

LSP

Well that didn't take long...

where's the laptop?

Thieves and hustlers are having a field day at New York's Zuccotti Park, ripping-off expensive Mac computers, donations and even pillaging the makeshift freak encampment for beds and umbrellas while unsuspecting hippies doze.


“I had my Mac stolen -- that was like $5,500. Every night, something else is gone. Last night, our entire [kitchen] budget for the day was stolen. I had umbrellas stolen, a fold-up bed I brought because my back is bad -- they took that, too! The worst thing is there’s people sleeping in the kitchen when they come, and they don’t even know about it! There are some really smart and sneaky thieves here," said Nan Terrie to the New York Post.

dozing hippies

That's strange. Thieves and hippies? Together? Surely not.

And what's an anti-corporate greed protester doing with a five and a half thousand dollar computer anyway. Maybe Macs are somehow "against the man." Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of apologist for Mammon but if you go down to the park tonight...

Keep your valuables locked up.

LSP

Front Office Rodeo

Not that you'd know it from browsing through this "site" but Lonestarparsonism does involve some work. There's the pastoralia that any clergyman should be about and the daily affair of running two missions. I say Morning Prayer ('28 BCP) then set up on the front porch with laptop, phone, coffee and gun. Then streams of people come by; I find that far more gets done that way than by skulking off, out of sight, at a desk. A lot of priests seem to do that and I'm not sure why. Perhaps they're scared of the people which is unfortunate, given the nature of the calling.

But it's not all about taking care of business on the front porch office. Sometimes it's about going to Waco for rodeo events.

Catch

These pictures didn't come out too well but maybe they give an idea of the speed and intensity of the thing. I enjoy the broncs and barrel racing - remarkable to watch the women run around the barrels then fly for the finish. 

Bronc

Then there's bull riding. A whole different level of dangerous and mad; there's that moment when the rider's on the ground and the bull's surging like fury. Where are the hooves going to land? Get away! Jaw dropping. 

Champion Team Ropers

Big thanks to Bud for the box tickets. Makes me want to ride Western. 

God bless,

LSP

New Hippies, Same Old story

Harmless?

It begins simply, almost harmlessly. First they find a "cause" to "stick it to the man" with love. Perhaps they draw stuff.

Fingerpainting

But not for long.

Kick that tarp!

Soon they find a park to live in, which they trash. 

It's Wall Street's fault

After a while they take their clothes off. Then it turns into this.

Undead

And this.

Apocalypse

Loyal Americans, you have been warned.


LSP

I Like Malone Texas

No Rent?

Now that I have a horse out by Malone I thought you might enjoy some pictures. The place was founded by Germans and is named after William Malone, President of the International Great Northern Railroad at the turn of the last century. The town owed its existence to the intersection of the of the IGN and the BVR (Brazos Valley Railroad) in 1903 and did well, in a small way. Success seems short-lived, as the town declined from  the '30s on. 279 people live there, according to the 2000 census. Read about it here.

Post Office & the Frog

I like Malone, it has a Post Office and many Saloons.

Pair O'Dice

But why the saloons? I counted the Whiskey River, Pair O'Dice, and The Frog. All of them seemed like pretty useful places but how did they get there? Maybe the Germans stopped the place going dry and held the Temperance beast in check.

Walling Owned

Why is it that Christians, of all people, would try and ban drink? Especially "Bible Christians" -- what about the Last Supper, or that awkward Miracle in Cana bit? They say, of course, that our Lord turned the water into non-alcoholic grape juice. 

Mesquite & Hickory Street

Out of loyalty to the Gospel I must find a designated driver and check out Pair O'Dice, the Whiskey and the Frog. 

Cheers,

LSP

Move the Horse

I hate trailers

My "time to move the horse" deadline fell on Monday, so we made several more attempts to load JB on the trailer, but it was no use. It was going to be a cold day in hell before she climbed aboard. That left several options; tranq the horse, ride her to her new home, or lead the beast with the help of a handy F 150. The tranquilizer route didn't seem wise and we didn't have any anyway. Riding seemed attractive, but JB wasn't used to being ridden on roads and who wants to risk being thrown under a truck hurtling down 171 as your horse bolts away to perdition. I reckoned there was an 85% chance that everything would be OK but think, that still leaves a solid 15% of not OK, with each percentile being a potential death point. That left leading her, which we did.

Maw of Hell

I walked her for the first 7 or 8 miles down dirt roads and some fairly deserted blacktop. After a bit of exhausting pulling, rearing, and acting up, she went docile. Thank goodness, probably wouldn't have made it otherwise. We picked up a German Shepherd who seemed to enjoy herding the horse. Most definitely a help.

Herding

The next 8 mile stretch, from Bynum to Malone, was along busy 171. JB didn't seem remotely spooked by the roaring trucks, which surprised me, and there it was, pickup, LSP, horse, dog, in procession down 171, in the blazing sun. At around the 13 mile point we stopped and I decided to climb onto the tailgate and lead from the truck. JB was fine with that once she got used to the idea, and trotted along at a respectable 5 or 6 mph.

None of this would have happened if you'd got on the trailer

After a pitstop at Malone's filling station, "What y'all doin'? Puttin' gas in th'horse?" "No, no, she's got plenty of that already." Har! Har! be safe." "God bless." we pushed through the last 5 miles or so to our destination. I was tired, the horse was tired, the dog was tired and the pickup moved along sedately, though I wasn't on it as JB had decided she wouldn't move unless I walked along with her. 


It was just getting dark as we arrived at the pasture, all safe and accounted for, though my sense of humour was beginning to dim. 


Moral of the story? Train your horse to load or face The Trek. It may be "character building" but... 


Cheers,


LSP

Bearded Head

It's not easy, living in the frozen North of our continent, so the head of LSP Research Canada has decided to grow a beard. It has a touch of gray, which I think is fine, and he assures me that it's going to grow till after Christmas, because of the extreme cold that you face while working on the Canadian railways.

He also has bikes, which I like but won't get. Why? Because I have enough on my hands dealing with a trailer-shy horse and have to save the stipend to get a 4x4 pickup. 

Back in the olden days my motorcyclist friends thought I should get a "Beeza", though I never did. I like old Brit bikes.

In other news, Hippies are trying to take over Wall Street. They're living in a park, evidently, and can't be evicted because it's private, which strikes me as odd.

According to CBS New York, "sanitary conditions" in the hippy's park "have reached unacceptable levels."

Well go figure.

Cheers,

LSP

Consecrate! Consecrate!

humane

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, has suggested that consecrating women as bishops in the Church of England will "humanise" the priesthood, put a stop to "creeping bureaucratisation" and "box ticking." 

seriously?

Williams, who is known for his trademark "full set" beard, also questioned whether an all male episcopate was able to read the the Bible properly. Is it "possible for bishops to read the bible adequately if they're an all male group" wondered the hirsute prelate at a private meeting.

credible

Outspoken "wimmin priest" spokesperson, Hilary Cotton, went one step further than the bearded Anglican Supremo stating, "It will be a disaster for the credibility of the Church if this legislation (to consecrate women bishops) does not go through."

what a monkey - thanks Samizdat

Credibility? Women bishops are sure to solve that knotty little dilemma. But in the meanwhile, I'll wager my fighting monkey against any two of your priestesses that even more Anglicans will head to Rome.

The challenge is on.

LSP

Your Money or your Life!

Anyone following the slow-moving(ish) train-wreck that is the Sovereign Debt crisis, will have noticed that France and Belgium have pledged to prop up Dexia, one of several rotten franchises in the heart of Europe. Presumably taxpayers will come to the rescue, but in the meanwhile, Dexia dropped a miserable 22 points on the Brussel's 'change. You can read about it in the SF Chronicle, if you like.


Belloc wrote somewhere that the Roman Empire was plagued with periodic financial crises brought on by usurious bankers. Interest on non-productive loans (his definition of usury) would mount up over the years until the burden became unsustainable, leading to financial collapse and ever higher tax burdens. Odd how history seems to repeat itself.

Jefferson had this to say about the banks:


"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered..."


Prescient, that Founding Father.


LSP

Beards...

A member of Team LSP has been shipped off to the Front and tells me that he's been having exciting helicopter rides. He also feels like "Abraham in the desert". This makes me suspect that he has grown a beard, which is fast becoming a disturbing trend amongst certain sectors of this site's readership. Not being a Capuchin, I remain clean-shaven. Some people say that "a beard is nothing other than cry for help." JEB Stuart might disagree with that.

In other news, JB is still waiting to "get on the trailer" but she is eating off the back of it. We should have taken a more patient approach first time around. But more on  that later.

Say a prayer for everyone stationed overseas.

God bless Texas.

LSP

Horse Attitudes

Because Bonnie isn't boarding horses anymore, the day came to move JB to fresh pastures. So off I drove to meet a parishioner with a trailer and load up the horse. Did JB want to get into the trailer? Not a bit of it.

After rearing, pulling away, falling over, you name it, we decided to tie her to the entrance of the trailer. Maybe she'd get used to the idea and walk on in. Instead she foolishly attempted to jump over the trailer, pulled loose of the halter and trotted back to her pasture. At least she didn't run off like an out of control  Exocet into the countryside.

Now she's in a round pen, the trailer's backed up to its gate with food and water in the back and the horse has a choice. If she wants to eat and drink she can walk in and get it, or she can go hungry. We'll see how that tactic works. If it doesn't, it'll be time to make a 'chute' out of panels and try to funnel her into the trailer.

JB's trailer treason has taught me several things. Wear gloves when loading a recalcitrant horse, otherwise you won't have any skin left on your hands. More importantly, train your horse to get in the trailer, which  probably seems to the uninitiated animal on a par with the gates of hell.

Horses are evidently less intelligent than dogs but you can ride them. That is a great bonus.

Cheers,

LSP