Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Rise of the Robots

Scientists are predicting that robots will soon take over many of the jobs now held by humans and the U.S. is ahead of the trend, deploying state of the art war droids to the world's troubled hot spots.


The Biden Mk.2 Teeth is currently in the Ukraine, where military strategists hope the replicant will serve as a badly needed NATO force multiplier. Teeth replaces an earlier robot, the Kerry, who was known affectionately to its controllers as Wooden Top.

Wooden Top

According to Andrew Anderson, CEO of the artificial intelligence (AI) company Celaton, robots like the Tooth and Wooden Top represent a technological breakthrough in processing power. 

Processing Power

“The artificial intelligence can read and understand the meaning of the whole documents with the help of patterns of words and phrases," stated Anderson in an interview with the Daily Mail.


Russian President Vladimir Putin, who is often referred to as a New Constantine, has responded to Wooden Top and Tooth by annexing the Crimea and sending troops to the border of the Ukraine and Russia. 

It remains unclear if a more deadly AI, the Witch, will be sent to the conflicted region.

Rumours that the Witch wants to become President of the United States are, unfortunately, true.



LL said...

They need to send the witch over to be the bullet sponge - the Russian tripwire.

LSP said...

We can but hope! Nasty bit of kit, the Witch.

LL said...

The Biden Robot seems to walk and talk on its own but the computer brain is that of a trained chimp.

LSP said...

Right, it's apparently autonomous but, well, put it this way, more than one operator has been heard to mutter "monkey-bot"... as for Wooden Top, what a dismal failure. DAARPA, back to the drawing board!