Rebel Son - Bury Me In Southern Ground

Dixie. Carry on.

LSP

A Sign

Presented without comment.

LSP

That's Pretty Country

This sure is country, I thought as I looked at the machinery in the back of someone's rig in Walmart's famous country car park. Perhaps I should set up a chapel at this particular super-center and doubtless do a roaring trade. 

But seriously, what's happened to all the country pursuits that LSPland is famous for; shooting, fishing, riding, armed walkabouts in the bucolic mesquite groves of Olde Texas. What's happened to all of that? 

Getting a 17 year old into the hallowed halls of rural academe is what's happened, and I tell you this. It's not necessarily easy transferring a kid from the Canadian system into the Texan one, at least academically. By contrast, the football part wasn't hard at all; come on in and join the team was their motto.

Still, the High School enrollment evolution is almost over, which means the horizons of sporting life are starting to open up again, thank God. Must get back in the saddle, catch some fish and see if I still know how to shoot.

Look At All The Great Guns I've Bought!

Speaking of shooting, I'm tempted to do two things. One, buy an over and under shotgun and two, a .357 Magnum revolver. But all that's hypothetical. After Hurricane Harvey, Texas may have ceased to exist, sinking, like Atlantis, under the waves of a tumultuous sea.

Thunder is heaving across the sky as I write this fascinating entry, and that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP

Is Taylor Swift A Nazi?!?

Some see singer-songwriter pop legend, Taylor Swift, as the hottest performer to ever grace the recording studio. Others think that the millionaire songstress has migraine-inducing eyes and a mean little face. But whatever your opinion, shocking new evidence has emerged showing that the super-talented diva is, in fact, a Nazi.

According to one expert, "It is also an established fact that Taylor Swift is secretly a Nazi and is simply waiting for the time when Donald Trump makes it safe for her to come out and announce her Aryan agenda to the world. Probably, she will be betrothed to Trump's son, and they will be crowned American royalty."

The remarkably talented star has been hailed as anti-communist icon and even has a Facebook page, Taylor Swift for Fascist Europe, which has over 18,000 likes. 

"Only through the destruction of Marxism can Europe be restored to its former glory, and only fascism can ensure this destruction," stated one Swift fan.

However, the musical genius' lawyer insists that Swift is not a far-right Nazi:

The association of Ms. Swift with Adolf Hitler undisputedly is 'harmful,' 'abusive,' 'ethnically offensive,' 'humiliating to other people,' 'libelous,' and no doubt 'otherwise objectionable.' It is of no import that Ms. Swift may be a public figure or that Pinterest conveniently now argues that the Offending Material is mere satire or parody. Public figures have rights. And, there are certain historical figures, such as Adolf Hitler, Charles Manson and the like, who are universally idocententified in the case law and popular culture as lightning rods for emotional and negative reaction.

Taylor Swift, Nazi icon or innocent pop genius. You, the reader, be the judge.

Quo Vadis,

LSP

The Great Nazigasm Of 2017

It was a beautiful, stirring vision. America, by 2017, was going to be a rainbow-hued, sushi-eating transutopia, all under the beneficent gaze of the country's first ever woman President, Hillary herself. Like Sweden but better and bigger. Then disaster struck, the nation elected a man who put ketchup on his steak and lived in a golden tower.

Staring in thwarted infantile agony at their field of shattered dreams, libs everywhere fell into an irrational, hysterical frenzy. Someone or something, anything but themselves, had to be at fault and there it was, Russia! Putin hacked the election, putting a Kremlin spy into the White House but Russia frenzy could only last so long under the burden of no proof whatsoever. 

That sad little unicorn wasn't going to fly despite the best efforts of Blitzer, Maddow, Waters & Co; something else was needed. And lo and behold, boom! Nazism. It was Hitler's fault!

Hitler made Donald Trump a Nazi. And we know this because Trump doesn't think statues of Confederate generals should be smashed but does think that Nazi racists and Anarcho-Marxist revolutionaries are both wrong. That's pretty National Socialist, eh? And we've always known that General Lee was a time-travelling member of the Waffen SS. Columbus, Washington, Jefferson? The Constitution? All Nazi.

The police? Nazis. Gender binary bathrooms? Nazi. Freedom of speech? Nazi. Having a border? Very Nazi. Small government and lower taxes? Disgustingly Nazi. Saying no to Islamic terror? Yes, hideously Nazi.

Perhaps you don't think that makes much sense, that it's the kind of thing someone suffering from dropped-on-head-as-infant syndrome might believe. Well then, racist, you're a Nazi  and maybe you need to change your name to Martin Bormann and stop being such a Gauleiter.

In fact, everyone who isn't a Democrat and a member of Antifa is a Nazi. And that's just the way it is in the great Nazigasm of 2017.

Let's see how long this fit of infantile rage lasts.

LSP

The West And Europe Reacts To Jihad Terror

Another day, another murderous atrocity by the religion of never-ending peace. How will we, the West and Europe, react?

Like a roomful of adorable rainbow ponies or with something stronger? A response that gets its head around the baffling concept that, you know, there might be a correlation between Mohammed's religion and the behavior of his followers.

Jihad Runs From Peace Signs

So far things look promising in Spain, where they've laid floral tributes and made a giant, living, candlelit peace sign. That'll stop the Jihad; Moslem fanatics run from flowers and peace signs every time.

Moslem Head-Choppers Don't Like Teddy Bears And Candles

They're doing well in Denmark too, with their new "hug a jihadi" program. ISIS quakes and who can blame them. After all, who wants to be hugged by a safe-space Dane? Terrifying.

A Typical CNN Dream Catcher

Of course here in America, CNN's busy getting to the root of the problem, which is clearly white supremacism, the Klu Klux Klan and statues of nineteenth century generals. Bye-bye Lee, bye-bye Jihad. And note this, there aren't any statues of Stonewall Jackson in liberated Mosul. Problem. Solved.

But We're Bored Of Jihad! Time To Sleep.

All this aside, the West could do the unthinkable and... no, that would be racist because as everyone knows, Islam's a race.

Behold The Genius Of Yoko, And John

So stay tuned for more daily Jihad terror as the West and Europe in particular, continue to ride the rainbow with gay abandon. And that's just fine until the Sharia Police throw you off the top of the nearest building. 

John and Yoko forever,

LSP

Tales of Country Life in Texas

It was a day much like any other day, triple digit heat bouncing off Walmart's car park and you could feel the nuttiness as soon as you got inside the store. 

There it was, no sooner through the automatic doors and people were acting weird, off-hand and unbalanced, as though things could spin out of control. Maybe it was the heat.

Random SMLE

I took a cart and pushed on to stock up, milk, bread, wine, cheese and for some reason, root beer. It seemed good to me, I don't know why and it wasn't easy to get, there was too much random motion.

As I pulled the 4 pack of IBC into the cart, a weather-beaten woman slid across the aisle in front of me in dirty socks. No shoes, just socks; I guess it's easier to skate over Walmart's vinyl floor in socks, shoes have too much traction. I dodged out of the way but didn't get far.

Furries

A grinning, white haired giant loomed out of the freezer aisle into my path. "Say," he growled, "What's the only room in the hospital where they'll notice you?" I wasn't feeling quick and told him I didn't know. That satisfied him, after all, this was his joke. "I'll tell you, Emergency. They have a sign, says I... C... U..." 

We locked eyes and a grin creased his already lined, tan face. I told him that was pretty funny and he nodded. A moment of understanding. In the meanwhile, sock-skater had disappeared into the depths of the store and I checked out, passing the old men sitting on the bench outside the hair salon, looking brown as nuts under their veterans hats and not doing much at all except regarding the spectacle of the place unfold. This was their afternoon; I noticed one had been in Korea, but don't stare, it's rude.

Note The 12

I loaded my groceries into the rig and there, across the melting asphalt, were two young guys playing show-and-tell with a pump action twelve gauge outside their truck. Hey, why not, it's Walmart in August, there's no rule. 

Back home, Eduardo and Maria were slaughtering chickens in the back yard and getting it on to some Mexican music. They're good people and I like them; sometimes they bring me fresh eggs, which taste better than the things you buy in stores.

And that's country life.

In Texas,

LSP

Is Putin A God?

According to Sputnik he may well be.

Unlike all these characters, Putin... is omnipotent and omnipresent, moving unseen and appearing without warning, performing a variety of evil deeds and vanishing without a trace.

Sputnik certainly has a point but evil deeds? Like stopping Hillary from getting elected and doing so without any sign or proof of doing so. Pretty godlike, for sure, but evil? Hardly.

Speaking of which, you may have noticed that the faked-up Russian hacking frenzy has mysteriously died down only to be replaced with a new frenzy, statue smashing. That's obviously worth far more air time than, say, the insignificant news of Debbie Wasserman Shultz's IT aide getting indicted.

Could it be that shadowy Russian double agents within the very fabric of the US intelligence community are conspiring, yet again, to expose Democrat corruption; all thanks to the sinister machinations of the Kremlin's godlike strongman, Vladimir Putin himself?

Who knows, maybe Mr. Assange will finally put the so-called collusion story, sorry, lie, to bed. Thus proving that it was Putin all along who thwarted Hillary's ambition to be the most powerful woman in the world. No proof is clearly proof itself.

In the meanwhile, Gettysburg isn't removing Confederate monuments, inspiring ISIS everywhere to persist in its reign of savage terror.

Cheers,

LSP

Barcelona Jihad

I was getting ready to leave the leafy boulevards of Olde Dallas when the news struck. No, not the bizarro call by Vice News to blow up Mount Rushmore because it's so racist, but the Jihad atrocity in Barcelona.

It seems a couple of Muslims rammed a van into a crowd outside a kosher restaurant, killing 13 and wounding 100. Two followers of the religion of never ending peace have been arrested and a third is apparently at large.

Why would three peace-loving followers of the most peaceful religion the world has ever seen do such a thing? Obviously not because they were following the example of Mohhamad,who never did a violent thing in his life, like head-chopping, enslaving, waging war; no, nothing like that. So why? Islamophobia? Racism? Maybe a bit of all of that and more.

According to CNN's acclaimed genius reporter, Wolf Blitzer, the Barcelona attack was inspired by white supremacists in Charlottesville. So now you know.

Islam didn't have anything to do with the latest in a string of murderous Moslem truck Jihad terror attacks, it was the Klan.

And of course, Mount Rushmore has to go.

ISIS laughs,

LSP

Rebel Yell Impeach Trump

Why? Because he told the lying, sly, venal, corrupt, elite, millionaire socialist elite media that violence on both sides of the Charlottesville spectrum was wrong.

Oh. What. A. Nazi.

Presumably because he didn't adopt the the culturally ascendant, media-driven rhetoric of the Left and endorse the feces throwing, Soros-funded Antifa protesters. That, he said, was wrong and so were the risible antics of the Klan. 

I'd call that common sense instead of  fascism and I'd bet my fighting monkey that most Americans would agree. However, the debate does spur on the urge to enlist creative people to make up life-size street art images of Confederate Generals. Three for every statue taken down. At least.

In the meanwhile, sorry, BLM and friends, you lost the election and lost hard. The country doesn't like you.

Best,

LSP

The Assumption

Listen up, heathen. It's the Feast of the Assumption, so here's a prayer:

May this hallowed feast shower us with saving grace, O Lord; since today the mother of God underwent the death of the body yet could not be held in deathbonds, as having brought forth Your incarnate Son, Our Lord; Who lives and reigns...

And here's the Latin, for all you trads out there, from the Dominican Breviary.

Veneránda nobis, Dómine, huius diéi festívitas opem cónferat salutárem, in qua sancta Dei Génetrix mortem súbiit temporálem, nec tamen mortis néxibus déprimi pótuit, quae Fílium tuum Dóminum nostrum de se génuit incarnátum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat...

I think the Latin's better, but that's just me.

God bless,

LSP 

Smash The Statues!

The best thing about removing statues of honorable Confederate generals is that it's going to eliminate poverty, injustice and oppression everywhere. 

No longer will persons of color and feminist theater study majors have to trudge in slavery under the baleful glare of General Lee, Stonewall Jackson and Jeb Stuart. Smash the statues! Strike off the manacles of fascism! And by the way, eliminate borders so that everyone can be controlled by our unimaginably wealthy transnational elite at slave labor wages.

To coin a phrase, what a crock. So come on, Sabo et al, let's see some life size Confederate street art, everywhere. As I pondered this on the Compound's southern values porch, my son came out, looking suspiciously sharp. 

"A friend's coming to get me," he announced cheerily. "Well that's nice, kid," I replied, like a member of Parson's Brigade and before you could whistle Dixie, up pulls the friend in a brand new, gleaming white F250.

Not My Rig

I tell you, it made my rig look like child's play.

Ride on,

LSP