Make His Paths Straight

Being a Parson, I get to preach every Sunday and I tend to stick to the Gospel, while occasionally lashing out at pansexuaists, Libs, Hippies, Marxists, Hitlerites, Illuminati pagans, big government, Bilderberger NWO shills, and assorted progleft enemies. Sometimes General Lee gets an honorable mention, along with Charles Martel and other heroes. Go figure.

Blue Tours

But there was none of that today. I just stuck to the Gospel, which featured John the Baptist, crying out in the wilderness against wickedness. Like Isaiah, preparing the "way of the Lord," making "his paths straight."

But what are the ways by which a thing makes its "path" to us? I suggested that the basic paths in question were fourfold. Viz. Senses, Affections, Intellect, Actions, and when these are blocked and twisted by evil, God can't reach us. So, we have to hear the Baptizer, and clear and straighten the paths through repentance in order for God to make his home in us.

I used lots of examples to illustrate the theme; I thought it was pretty clear. Nothing deep, or even controversial, although I did blast adultery. Then during the Peace, my MC, who's a former rodeo star (world Bronc Champion several years running), asked, "Padre, was there a point to that sermon?" 

Ride More, LSP

He's a good BS barometer and a great horseman, so I looked him in the eye and said, "I think you need to repent." I rode one of his horses the other year around some barrels only to learn afterwards that the animal was worth... a lot. It was like being on a living Ferrari.

In other exciting church news, the ladies of one of the Missions have taken to feeding Blue Armageddon kolaches at Coffee Hour. I rebuke them but they pay no attention.

Things are obviously spinning out of control.

LSP

Something Nasty This Way Cometh

Nasty, in this case, being the repellent Eric Anderson, Professor of "Sport, Masculinities and Sexualities," at the UK's Winchester University. Leaving aside the viability of Winchester U as a place of higher learning, Anderson is famous for obscene language and advocating underage sex.

Speaking at Oxford University in 2011, Anderson stated, "damage that’s caused by child molestation is socially constructed by the western world".

As one reader put it, "Well, that's one up for the West, I think."

The group Because Children Matter has written Winchester University, asking for Anderson to be removed.

LSP

Pumpkin Shoot.

Exhausted by the seriousness of First Things, I headed off to the range with some rifles, a pistol and some pumpkins. Nothing complicated; set up the pumpkins and shoot them with the guns. That was my plan.

And that's what I did. I was going to name the pumpkins, Old Tory, Little Lib, Rural Dean, etc. very funny. But I didn't.

I just shot them with an AR 15, a .45, a .22 and a 30-06.

The 06, an old Remington 700 ADL, dealt out furious damage, blasting great chunks out of the hapless Halloween ornaments and I was pleased to see my scope was pretty much dead on. The other guns worked fine too, but for sheer drop the pumpkin down power the 30-06 was a stand-out winner.

So I learned something today. If you go up against pumpkins, take a 30-06 to the fight. You'll win.

Shoot straight,

LSP

Why Christians Care About Sex

I know. This blog seems to have become a cheap storefront for shallow blasts, rips and tears against Transgender Warriors, Austin, Katy Perry, and associated mountebanks. So here's some serious thought from First Things, about sex:

"The Bible calls for a sanctified sexuality, a sexual system brought under the authority of God. While there’s some level of disconnect between beliefs about sexuality and the actual practice of sexuality that’s seen in the study, the trend lines in America paint a picture of very divergent beliefs about the purpose of one’s sexuality and how it should be ordered. The implications from this are legion, one of which is the impact on religious liberty. What’s happening in America’s disputes over religious liberty are often at root basic disagreements about sex.

"The Relationships in America study reaffirms a central truth in the Christian narrative: Marriage, the dignity of the body, and sexual telos are meant to drive us to the Gospel, one pictured in the marital imagery of the Christ-Church union. Christianity has always taught that our sexual desires are primal and wild; and something to be used according to the Creator’s purposes. When humanity mistreats the good purposes of sexuality according to both reason and revelation, we neglect the purpose and complementarity of sexual design and all the corresponding realities that issue from it."

You may disagree and feel free to do so, but I'd say that was right on the money. See the rest of the article here for some interesting stats.

Now I'm heading off to the range, to shoot some pumpkins.

LSP

Season of Mists and Mellow Fruitiness

You may have missed it in, you know, a fit of fascistic transgenderphobia, but November 15 was the National Transgender Day of Remembrance. And who did Integrity USA, the famous LGBTQ advocacy group, remember? Leslie Feinberg, of course.

Sam Peterson, Integrity's Development Director, writes about Feinberg's influence:

"Leslie Feinberg’s seminal memoir Stone Butch Blues changed the lives of many of my friends. They were excited to read a book about the experiences of someone whose gender was resolutely masculine, despite the seeming conflict of their body; it was their experience."

I'm sure it was. Sam gets all spiritual in the end, as you'd expect from a spokespirsin of a religious organization like Integrity USA.

"To be transgender can mean being loving, lively, creative, and connected. To be transgender in situations that diminish our worth is painful, depressing, and soul-destroying. All of us know this—as gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans*gender, as intersex and as queer people we’ve all experienced some flavor of the diminishment of who and what we are. On this day of gravitas and difficult reality, I’m going to remember those who came before me, who made my new life possible through their lives and work. I renew my commitment as a transgender spiritual human—a Transgender Warrior, in the language of Feinberg--to speak up and out, and to share the love that was so generously given to me. Our strength comes from that absolute understanding: we are a part of God, and therefore magnificent and holy beyond human reckoning."

Minnie

But how did Transgender Warrior Feinberg die? According to hir obit:

"Leslie Feinberg, who identified as an anti-racist white, working-class, secular Jewish, transgender, lesbian, female, revolutionary communist, died on November 15. She succumbed to complications from multiple tick-borne co-infections, including Lyme disease, babeisiosis, and protomyxzoa rheumatica, after decades of illness."

Written by hir spouse, Minnie Bruce Pratt.

Of course. But what God do you think these people are a part of?

You can read the whole thing hir, in case you think I'm lying.

LSP

Katy Perry. Illuminati Devil Witch?

Famous female pop icon, Katy Perry, has said that she's "praying for an equal America." But what God is she praying to, the dark deity of the New World Order, Illuminati devil cult? Evidence suggests that she is.

At the Grammy's, the wacky songstress performed what some described as an "Illuminati-themed occult ritual," complete with dancers with devil horns and a Moloch beast.

Note Pyramid

Recently, she told the mysteriously still-running Rolling Stone magazine that she'd like to become a member of the secretive occult Illuminati group.

"I guess you've kind of made it when they think you're in the Illuminati," stated Perry, "But listen, I believe in aliens, so if people want to believe in Illuminati, great."

Erwache!

Or not so great. Is Katy Perry an Illuminati devil witch, or just another NWO dupe of the Great O, masquerading as an entertainer? Interestingly, she wants to be "more of a Joni Mitchell."

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

Boehner, Servant of the Great O

I rest my case.

But what does that make Hillary?

LSP

Who is this Man?

Who is this man?

Why is he orange?

Why is he in charge of anything?

Is it some kind of Umpa Lumpa shill?

Answers, please.

LSP

An Advent Story

As a celebrity pastor, I sometimes have to go to Arlington, Texas. I did that yesterday and visited with a church person whose Mother had died. I took Blue Eschaton along for the ride and dropped him off at Dallas HQ.

Edgehill

He liked that, until I strolled out under the leafy boulevards of Winnetka Heights for a a glass of the right stuff. I was no sooner gone than HQ Coy was calling in, "Your dog is whining and howling!" I hate having to micro-manage but I quick marched back to base to find Blue Crybaby curled up in the back hallway, protecting the door. 

Well, man's best friend and all that, and you may be interested to know he's being fitted with titanium teeth by a canine security professional in California. This doesn't come cheap, but I feel it's worth it.

Dallas HQ

Then today I drove to Home Depot to buy a Christmas tree. The Hispanic woman who trimmed and bagged the tree told me it was a good one.

"I got one of these bad boys," she said, showing me a picture of her tree. "That's a real good tree," I replied. "Yeah it is," she grinned. "Put this in the truck?"

"You bet."

And that's just what we did. Loaded the tree in the truck, right there and then. It'll look good when it's up.

All For Christmas

Puritans hate Christmas and think it's pagan. Their Godless, comsymp, NWO, atheist cousins hate it too, because it's Christian. When Blue Apocalypse has his titanium implants up and running that crew had better watch out.

Blue Howler is snoring. For now.

LSP

Rev. Al Sharpton Spotted, in Zimbabwe!

World-famous celebrity pastor and justice advocate, Rev. Al Sharpton, has been spotted by schoolchildren at an elementary school in Ruwa, Zimbabwe.

According to multiple witnesses, Sharpton disembarked from a strange craft, wearing a "shiny black and silver suit." Described as a "small man," the pastor proceeded to terrify the schoolchildren.

"Many of the smaller children were terrified and began crying for help," said one observer, "The 'little man' evoked memories of African legends they had heard about demons and ghosts who ate little children." 

After delivering a telepathic message "with his eyes," Sharpton left Zimbabwe. He will be appearing at the White House on Monday for a meeting with President Obama.

You can support Al Sharpton by clicking on this link.

LSP

Advent 2014

It's Advent now, which means I have to at least attempt to be serious and positive on this lame excuse for a "blog." But I'm not sure this is possible without help; so I enlist Austin Farrer, who described the season like this:

"Advent brings Christmas, judgement runs out into mercy. For the God who saves us and the God who judges us is one God. We are not, even, condemned by his severity and redeemed by his compassion; what judges us is what redeems us, the love of God. What is it that will break our hearts on judgement day? Is it not the vision, suddenly unrolled, of how he has loved the friends we have neglected, of how he has loved us, and we have not loved him in return ; how, when we came (as now) before his altar, he gave us himself, and we gave him half-penitences, or resolutions too weak to commit our wills? But while love thus judges us by being what it is, the same love redeems us by effecting what it does. Love shares flesh and blood with us in this present world, that the eyes which look us through at last may find in us a better substance than our vanity."

Judgement runs out into mercy.

So Money

Maybe there'll be some for Bishop "Dick" Harries who thinks England should have a Muslim coronation ceremony. "Dick" once wrote a book called Is there a Gospel for the Rich? which featured him grinning on the front cover.

Go figure,

LSP

Happy Saturday

One of the very few people that look at or read this hot dog stand on the information superhighway, set me a challenge. "LSP," they said, "try and post something, anything, that isn't negative. Go on, give it a go, be uplifting!"

With that in mind, I won't describe the 100 or so white people I saw protesting outside a Walmart yesterday. Or the way their white leader was telling a black cop that "black lives matter."

No, I won't bang on about that, but I will leave you with some Obama magic.

Is that ever neat or what?

LSP