Who is this Man?

Who is this man?

Why is he orange?

Why is he in charge of anything?

Is it some kind of Umpa Lumpa shill?

Answers, please.

LSP

An Advent Story

As a celebrity pastor, I sometimes have to go to Arlington, Texas. I did that yesterday and visited with a church person whose Mother had died. I took Blue Eschaton along for the ride and dropped him off at Dallas HQ.

Edgehill

He liked that, until I strolled out under the leafy boulevards of Winnetka Heights for a a glass of the right stuff. I was no sooner gone than HQ Coy was calling in, "Your dog is whining and howling!" I hate having to micro-manage but I quick marched back to base to find Blue Crybaby curled up in the back hallway, protecting the door. 

Well, man's best friend and all that, and you may be interested to know he's being fitted with titanium teeth by a canine security professional in California. This doesn't come cheap, but I feel it's worth it.

Dallas HQ

Then today I drove to Home Depot to buy a Christmas tree. The Hispanic woman who trimmed and bagged the tree told me it was a good one.

"I got one of these bad boys," she said, showing me a picture of her tree. "That's a real good tree," I replied. "Yeah it is," she grinned. "Put this in the truck?"

"You bet."

And that's just what we did. Loaded the tree in the truck, right there and then. It'll look good when it's up.

All For Christmas

Puritans hate Christmas and think it's pagan. Their Godless, comsymp, NWO, atheist cousins hate it too, because it's Christian. When Blue Apocalypse has his titanium implants up and running that crew had better watch out.

Blue Howler is snoring. For now.

LSP

Rev. Al Sharpton Spotted, in Zimbabwe!

World-famous celebrity pastor and justice advocate, Rev. Al Sharpton, has been spotted by schoolchildren at an elementary school in Ruwa, Zimbabwe.

According to multiple witnesses, Sharpton disembarked from a strange craft, wearing a "shiny black and silver suit." Described as a "small man," the pastor proceeded to terrify the schoolchildren.

"Many of the smaller children were terrified and began crying for help," said one observer, "The 'little man' evoked memories of African legends they had heard about demons and ghosts who ate little children." 

After delivering a telepathic message "with his eyes," Sharpton left Zimbabwe. He will be appearing at the White House on Monday for a meeting with President Obama.

You can support Al Sharpton by clicking on this link.

LSP

Advent 2014

It's Advent now, which means I have to at least attempt to be serious and positive on this lame excuse for a "blog." But I'm not sure this is possible without help; so I enlist Austin Farrer, who described the season like this:

"Advent brings Christmas, judgement runs out into mercy. For the God who saves us and the God who judges us is one God. We are not, even, condemned by his severity and redeemed by his compassion; what judges us is what redeems us, the love of God. What is it that will break our hearts on judgement day? Is it not the vision, suddenly unrolled, of how he has loved the friends we have neglected, of how he has loved us, and we have not loved him in return ; how, when we came (as now) before his altar, he gave us himself, and we gave him half-penitences, or resolutions too weak to commit our wills? But while love thus judges us by being what it is, the same love redeems us by effecting what it does. Love shares flesh and blood with us in this present world, that the eyes which look us through at last may find in us a better substance than our vanity."

Judgement runs out into mercy.

So Money

Maybe there'll be some for Bishop "Dick" Harries who thinks England should have a Muslim coronation ceremony. "Dick" once wrote a book called Is there a Gospel for the Rich? which featured him grinning on the front cover.

Go figure,

LSP

Happy Saturday

One of the very few people that look at or read this hot dog stand on the information superhighway, set me a challenge. "LSP," they said, "try and post something, anything, that isn't negative. Go on, give it a go, be uplifting!"

With that in mind, I won't describe the 100 or so white people I saw protesting outside a Walmart yesterday. Or the way their white leader was telling a black cop that "black lives matter."

No, I won't bang on about that, but I will leave you with some Obama magic.

Is that ever neat or what?

LSP

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a great Thanksgiving.

God bless,

LSP

Katharine Jefferts Schori Racist

The leader of the Episcopal Church, Katharine Jefferts Schori, has stated that ghetto thug Michael Brown's death might become a "sacramental offering."

Racist

According to Schori, "Michael Brown's death was and is a tragedy, and has become a powerful witness to those divisions between human beings in this nation. His death also carries the potential to become a sacramental offering - if it continues to challenge us to address our divisions and the injustices in this nation that are far more than skin deep."

Racist

Jefferts Schori appears to be saying that Brown's death should be seen as a sacrifice that will encourage America to stop being racist. 

Racist

Maybe the top bishop of the Episcopal Church should leave her multi-million dollar 5th Avenue (?) penthouse apartment and live in Germantown, Philadelphia, or Detroit, or Baltimore, or even St. Louis. Or any one of any number of urban ghetto hellholes that are a festering sore in this nation.

Perhaps she'd learn enough to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem. Or not.

#pullpantsup

LSP

Martyr Saint Hero?

Holy civil rights martyr?

Victim of endemic racism?

Or just another ghetto thug who rushed a cop and got shot? And an excuse to loot and burn your neighborhood.

And then there's Al Sharpton.

LSP

Why is Anglicanism Declining?

Anglicans in the West are baffled. Why isn't anyone coming to church, why are congregations declining? It's a great mystery.

Except that it isn't.

LSP

No Indictment

Presented without comment.

LSP

Big Sky Open Carry

People say that Texas has a big sky. I won't disagree, it does. Maybe soon it'll be a Big Sky Open Carry (BSOC) state too, as the Mississippi Rebel reports.

But after looking at the enormous sky, I went for a quick spin around Malone. It doesn't have paved streets, but it does have a smoker in the form of a pistol.

I like that.

Malone was prosperous, once, but not anymore, even though it has has several saloons.

God bless,

LSP

Busted!

I know. They're still at large in Washington DC, along with all the other clowns and crooks. But maybe the impossible will happen and one day that will end, just like Lois Lerner's missing 30,000 emails were miraculously found.

Busted?

Hope, we're told, is a virtue.

LSP