Terrifying Clowns

Terrifying

A mystery clown has been terrifying the unpleasant English town of Northhampton. Taking his cue from prominent U.S. Klowns, the anonymous British jokester doesn't appear to have a coherent agenda, other than standing around, grinning and staring inanely.

Stop Scaring People

This angers some victims: "You've been spotted now get out of the clown suit and start acting like a grown up," said one Northhampton resident, "and stop scaring people as some people do have real fears of clowns and you are terrorising them despite what you may say."

Terrorising

People in America, Britain and around the world are often terrified of clowns. Symptoms include feelings of dread, increased heartbeat, sweating, nausea and anger.

At Large

The Northhampton Clown and its U.S. counterparts are still at large. Experts have written off U.S. foreign policy as "largely a joke."

LSP

Loaded For Bear

Klown Swallowed Alive

Who knew that Russia, (remember Soviet Russia, where Christianity was pretty much not allowed?), would someday be the only power to stand up for the Faith publicly.

Far-fetched I know, but that's what's happened; Vlad Putin is the only world leader speaking out in defense of Christianity. The only one.

Don't Flinch!

America, England, France and the rest of the West, especially their rulers, hate Christianity. Why? Because it isn't gay, for a start and that's curiously threatening to them. Islam's O.K., of course, and we can ponder the reasons for that.

Bear growls, Klowns Blink 

Meanwhile, Russia has said no to bombing Syria, leaving our limo-lib socialists scrabbling for something meaningful to say and do other than standing around, looking dumb.

Who knows, maybe the war's off.

LSP

Excuse Me? Schori, Stop Klowning Around!

Krew of Klowns Chaplain, Jefferts Schori

Everyone, even the White House, admits that Putin "now owns" the Syria question, everyone that is except the Krew of Klowns famous boy bishop chaplain, Katherine Jefferts Schori. 

A Couple of Clowns Goofing-Off in Church

She thinks her team's floundering antics are due to far-sighted bravery on the part of Klown Kommander Obama. From Anglican Ink:

The situation in Syria continues to evolve. The death and violence that have been wrought on the Syrian people are a humanitarian tragedy of the first order. I do not believe further violence is likely to end the tragedy, but rather seems likely to increase or prolong the disaster. I applaud President Obama's restraint and willingness to look for diplomatic solutions -- changing position requires courage of the first order. It is a sign of profoundly care-filled leadership both to test the possibility of other, more creative and life-giving solutions and to put the needs of vulnerable populations ahead of one's own image or reputation.

No Fooling

No, Schori. The Klowns aren't going to war for cannibal Jihadi savages in Syria because they're "care-filled" but because they were spanked by Putin. Even your favorite newspaper, the toxic New York Times, admits as much.

So stop clowning around.

LSP