Monday, June 5, 2017

News From The Front Of The War, On Weather



The dull rumble of thunder fills the air like the opening salvos of artillery on the Qatari front, and rain crashes down in sheets as lightning flashes across the sky. Harbingers of the Eschaton that has been unleashed by our ancient enemy, the Weather.


Cyborg Musk

You see, what has happened here is that the climate has changed and Texas, which failed so miserably to pay its weather tax, has been struck and struck hard. New York City, under the brave, resolute, socialist leadership of Mayor Bill de Blasio, net worth $1.5 million, are safe. 


Submission Merkel

The Weather won't attack Manhattan, San Francisco or Austin; they're sanctuary cities where everyone is safe because they obey their green globalist overlords. But in Texas, as opposed to Austin, that's not the case. This means sacrifice.


Snigger. Trudeau

There's no shooting because the range is a swamp. No fishing; who wants to get struck by lightning? And no riding; it's not fun to slosh around in a bog and get paralyzed when the horse falls over in the mud and snaps your neck. Does that mean we're defeated?


Di Caprio

No, it doesn't. We refuse to kow-tow to Macron, Trudeau, Merkel and their transnational elitocrat puppetmasters. We won't submit to millionaire green socialists like Di Caprio, Bloomberg and Elon "I'm Not A Cyborg" Musk. 




No sir. Come hell or high water, we stand for freedom and Texas.

Weather, bring it on.

LSP

12 comments:

Mattexian said...

Is that second pic of "durka durka" Merkel?

I've got a shot of my own Texas flag, wet, then frozen, from several months ago. The ice glaze looks about the same as just being wet.

LL said...

You definitely need a boat to get around in Hillsboro.

Meanwhile in Phoenix, the skies were clear as they are in Los Angeles. Texas has clearly been singled out as an enemy of progressiveness. Witness the rain sheeting down on what was supposed to be summer.

LindaG said...

Glad to hear it, Parson. We are supposed to be out of the rain by tomorrow or Wednesday at the latest. Unless we get more because we didn't pay our tax...
The front may actually bring us some slightly cooler weather. Which will be nice for painting outside.

G. Tingey said...

Very funny
And total bollocks

Adrienne said...

North Idaho didn't pay their tax either. We're expecting more rain after two fairly hot days. I try not to complain since usually by this time I'd be hauling around mega-hundreds of feet of hose to water stuff.

How come all the socialist leaders (Macron,Trudeau, et al) look so effete?

LSP said...

It does have that icy look, Mattexian. Good point.

LSP said...

LL, one thing, at least, is clear. We need a maritime component, and "60s".

LSP said...

Good luck with the painting, Linda. Supposed to be doing that here, too, but the crew persistently fails to turn up. You'd think they'd want the money...

LSP said...

Tingey, it's all a larf until you wake up and there's a demon gnawing on your elbow.

LSP said...

Good observation, Adrienne. Trudeau looks especially, ahem, alpha. Note that Herr Merkel is their leader.

Adrienne said...

Trudeau looks like pajama boy. Never in my wildest and deepest dreams would I ever be attracted to a "man" like that. I'll take real alpha any day over these wimps.

LindaG said...

I know how that goes, Parson. They promise to do the work, then never show up at the door. :-|

Hubby says I need to let the house dry a day or so before I start painting again. It's a OLD wood house that is slowly being repainted.

Have a great week!