The dull rumble of thunder fills the air like the opening salvos of artillery on the Qatari front, and rain crashes down in sheets as lightning flashes across the sky. Harbingers of the Eschaton that has been unleashed by our ancient enemy, the Weather.
Cyborg Musk
You see, what has happened here is that the climate has changed and Texas, which failed so miserably to pay its weather tax, has been struck and struck hard. New York City, under the brave, resolute, socialist leadership of Mayor Bill de Blasio, net worth $1.5 million, are safe.
Submission Merkel
The Weather won't attack Manhattan, San Francisco or Austin; they're sanctuary cities where everyone is safe because they obey their green globalist overlords. But in Texas, as opposed to Austin, that's not the case. This means sacrifice.
Snigger. Trudeau
There's no shooting because the range is a swamp. No fishing; who wants to get struck by lightning? And no riding; it's not fun to slosh around in a bog and get paralyzed when the horse falls over in the mud and snaps your neck. Does that mean we're defeated?
Di Caprio
No, it doesn't. We refuse to kow-tow to Macron, Trudeau, Merkel and their transnational elitocrat puppetmasters. We won't submit to millionaire green socialists like Di Caprio, Bloomberg and Elon "I'm Not A Cyborg" Musk.
No sir. Come hell or high water, we stand for freedom and Texas.
Weather, bring it on.
LSP