Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Tax The Robots

Bill Gates, the richest man that has ever been and the co-founder of Microsoft, has hit on a novel way to reverse the declining fortunes of the once great Church of England. Tax the robots.

The Church of England is currently plagued by automatons who robotically repeat the slogans of popular culture, leading to shrinking membership and deficit budgets.

The Mind of Synod

"The robots are killing us," stated one General Synod insider, "They won't shut up until the entire Church is gay married, or trans, or both. So normal people don't come anymore and giving is right down. With the Gates plan maybe we can turn the robots into profit centers."

The First Law of Robotics

Robots in the Church of England's General Synod recently decided that marriage wasn't confined to men and women. However, the shrinking denomination stopped short of affirming artificial intelligence marriage equality (AIME).


Rumors that the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justsin Welby, is a DAARPA manufactured AI are currently unconfirmed.

God bless,



LL said...

I am not speaking of myself here, but would C of E sanction a marriage between a person (man or womyn) and one of those lifelike sex dolls? It's true that at present neither man nor womyn could have children with a sex doll, but I'm sure that they could adopt either a doll or a human child - because that's incredibly progressive.

It's not the robot thing, but there may be a third way for those members of the congregation that aren't prepared for a lifelong commitment to a robot.

Jules said...

The numbers in church are declining rapidly and therefore acceptance of all is a necessity or more churches will be turned into pubs or rave houses or possible luxury apartments. On one hand I think that religion must be steadfast and true to its word but the essence of what it is means tolerance, acceptance and love.
By the way, what's a "normal" person? Please define..

Adrienne said...

I am completely unable to wrap my head around any of this stuff. What the hell is wrong with them?

Mattexian said...

Thankfully, the HillaryBot didn't get to the White House again.

Ol' Billy Gates might've had a few bright ideas, but taxing robots isn't one of them. Until such time as the robots are self-controlled AIs, any taxes on them would be paid by the businesses that own them, and as anyone who passed a semester of Economics 101 would know, the companies will pass that business expense along to the consumer by raising prices on their goods and services.

Mind ya, it's not like companies were going to pass along the savings of having robots to replace real people anyway, that just counted as more profits for them, just like when they moved the factories overseas, no longer paying an American $10-15/hr and instead paying a Chinaman that much *per week*.

LSP said...

It's hard to believe, LL, but I understand that there's a lifelike Hillary sex doll. Is it Synod approved? Good question.

LSP said...

Jules, "normal" in this instance means marriage is between a man and a woman. Aside from any ethical aspect it's simply normative across history. There's exceptions, like the crazed, ahem, artist Nero, or Stephen Fry, but they break the rule. And for sure, let's have less churches becoming rave clubs but we can't throw the baby out with the bathwater or the buildings will end up as rave clubs anyway, or gay discos.

But maybe it's OK to turn an old Methodist or Plymouth Brethren chapels into houses?

LSP said...

I think the devil's got into them, Adrienne, and turned them mad.

LSP said...

I read the ZeroHedge piece on it, Mattexian, and agree. But I'm a bit confused by an aspect of it -- if robots replace workers on a big scale, who's going to buy the goods produced?

LL said...

When Juliet opens her clown church in England, most of these people will migrate there because what's more fun than a pie in the face?

Jules said...

Right, Larry. That'll teach the to enjoy themselves! And in the meantime put on your emergency red nose and think about what you've done! Ha.

Jules said...

LSP - I don't like abandoned churches being used for anything nefarious or unseemly but if they are used for something useful and/ or of value to the community then I would rather that than them being demolished and replaced by an apartment block. So, yes. Buy one.

LSP said...

I'll get right on it, Jules.