It's a Dog's Life

It's raining, here in Texas, and my canine ally, Blue Marmaduke, is back from his country exeat. What would he be like, I wondered, after a few weeks away from the chain of command?

Just fine, as it turns out. He's better behaved, if anything, and seems a little more obedient. Not that he was bad before. Apparently he was good around horses while I was away, though I'm not quite sure what that means.

Still, it bodes well for a cavalry mascot, as does his fearless approach to bullets and gunfire. But he has to learn that it's a mistake to try and catch the bullets. Until he has his titanium refit.

That is all.

LSP

Well That Was Fun

It felt a bit strange returning to Texas from the land of ice and snow but drive-bys notwithstanding, it was good to be back in the Lone Star State. And it was especially good to meet up with a very old friend who was passing through, to conduct some "business."

What was this business? Good question. It was something along the lines of "communications systems security and interception consultancy," or CSSIC, and it helped to be an Israeli, living in Jakarta. Obviously.

I was impressed by my pal's CSSIC expertise and hope he triumphs in the marketplace, but that aside, the years rolled back over several dinners, as we caught up on our various adventures. "What's the most important thing about a tank?" asked my friend, who had helped crew one at the end of Peace in Galilee. "Reverse gear!" The reason being, he explained, is that reverse is crucial after you've pulled over a ridge to take your shot and have to get back into cover. CSSIC had driven a Centurion, which astounded me. 

It had been updated but still, the hull of the metal monster dated from 1949 and there it had been, getting into fights in Lebanon, in the '80s.

Then he was gone and I drove back to my rural idyll in the land where cotton used to be king. I'll be picking up Blue Exocet tomorrow.

Cheers,

LSP

Jihad at Charlie Hebdo

Religion of Peace? Tell that to Charlie Hebdo.

But at least one thing's for sure, if Mahomet cartoons weren't popular before, they are now, and in case you're wondering if Islam is like a desert version of Woodstock, think again.

LSP

Dallas Drive By, Stephen Fry

There I was, just a few hours back from Canada and enjoying a glass of wine at the Dallas "local" with my philisophical friend, GWB. Then bang! Six shots were fired, right outside the restaurant.

"Did you hear that?" asked my Wittgensteinian ally.

"I certainly did."

"Gunfire."

"Yes. Let's check it out."

So out we went and I noticed a punter taking cover behind a wall in the car park, so I walked over and asked what had happened. "They drove by, real slow," he said, "shooting that way. I figured I should get behind this wall." I asked him if there'd been any return fire and he said no, which was precipitate, because another shot was fired from a block or two away. Probably the enemies of the drive-by gang asserting themselves.

And that was that. Fortunate that the restaurant wasn't shot up and that no one was hurt.

In other news, the fruity old English thesp, Stephen Fry, has announced that he's going to "marry" some boy.

Try to keep your dinner down.

LSP

A Short Walk in the Snow

"I am just going outside and may be some time," I said to no one in particular, as I left our shelter in search of beef broth.

The snow had intensified, making it hard to see, but in the distance I could just make out the Cult Collective, rising out of the drifts. I knew there was a shop nearby that sold broth, but would I make it?

I did, barely, and sensibly managed to detour out of the wind to a pub, where I drank a pint and watched the snow.

Later on we ate a standing rib with roast potatoes and Yorkshire pudding. It was delicious.

Stay warm,

LSP

Ice Station Zebra

I got up this morning and it was snowing, but not the Christmas Carol, Tiny Tim, figgy pudding kind of snow. This was harsher, with a subzero wind driving particles of the white stuff, like tiny pieces of icy grit.

Sensible creatures, like bears, go to sleep in warm caves when the weather gets like this but, out of respect for Captain Scott, I went for a walkabout.

This took me to a new building that advertised itself as the Cult Collective. I immediately summed this up as a crew of marketeers, out to make a buck by cult status brand building. Customers, complain the Cult, "usually buy things because they have a need, not a burning desire." The Cult exists to reverse that and bank some tin.

As I parsed this in terms of idolatry, mammon and Keynesian, debt-driven growth, a woman paid her parking fee in the driving snow. "God it's cold!" she said. 

"It is a bit chilly," I replied.

"Just obscene."

I don't know if the woman was part of the Cult.

Be careful out there,

LSP

Rainbow Messiah or Monkey?

Thanks to the Associated Press, all the world knows that President Obama was greeted by a rainbow on the 12th day of his vacation in Hawaii.

"Obama started a sunny and breezy morning with a workout at a gym on a Marine Corps base near the oceanfront home he's renting. A faint rainbow appeared in the sky along the route to the base from Obama's rental home in the small town of Kailua outside Honolulu."

A faint rainbow. How very lovely.

The rainbow loving leader of the free world has been called a monkey by the North Koreans. "Obama always goes reckless in words and deeds like a monkey in a tropical forest," said an unidentified spokesman from North Korea's National Defense Commission.

Russians aren't convinced by Obama's rainbow rhetoric either, and beamed a laser image of the Commander-in-Chief onto the American Embassy in Moscow. The image shows Obama wearing a party hat and eating a banana. Foreign policy experts believe that this was an attempt by the Russians to portray Barack Obama as a monkey.

So what's it to be? Rainbow Messiah, or Monkey? The vote is out.

You, the reader, be the judge.

LSP

New Year's Day in Inglewood

What will 2015 bring? Will the cold war against Russia get colder and then hotter? Will mainstream Western Anglicanism continue its downward spiral into sexually induced apostasy? 

Who knows, and rather than consult an Angelic Alphabet to scry the answers, I stepped out into the pleasant streets of Inglewood.

I like it here and enjoy the Edwardian architecture, which dates from Calgary's days as a Northern outpost of Empire.

Now the shops are mostly the kind of artsy boutiques you find in places like Austin, or San Francisco, and they're not cheap. Still, it's neat to look in the windows and congratulate yourself on having the good sense to be immune from the lure of their pricey wares.

There's restaurants too, and a deli called Spolumbo's. Spolumbo's sells delicious European and English sausage. If you like bangers and mash, Spolumbo's is your shop. You can get beer on tap there and drink it as you congratulate yourself on a fine purchase of excellent sausage.

Then there's the Minh Chau, which pretends to serve Vietnamese food. I'd avoid that, if I were you, and go to the Swan instead. The Swan is a pub, where you can drink beer and eat food.

Typical Canadian House. Note Antler

Maybe that's where I'll go later, to celebrate New Year's day.

Have a great New Year!

LSP

New Year's Eve

What's New Year's Eve without a visit to a gun shop? With that in mind, I made my way to Proline Shooters, in Inglewood, Calgary. This gun shop is remarkable for having a barber on the premises, which means you can get your hair cut and look at the guns. 

Calgary Capital

Some time ago, the resident barber, Doug, was a cadaverous old communist, who liked to demonize Calgary capitalists as he snipped away at your hair. You'd see him, up into the early hours, talking with the owner of the shop over a bottle of whiskey. Doug died of cancer a few years back; may he rest in peace. 

CarolPeter, Father of One

In other news, you'll be interested to know that the Church of England's first trans clergyperson has died of cancer at the young age of 60. Rev. Carol Stone started off life as Peter Stone and decided to get a sex change in 2000. The Bishop of Swindon, Lee Rayfield, stated, "She was a really true priest who overcame a huge amount in her life."

Alien Hybrid Expert

But CarolPeter wasn't a woman, more of a hybrid man/woman, or as someone put it, "A blasphemous parody of a woman." So I'd argue against calling CarolPeter "she." Still, I hope he/she sorts it all out with the Creator.

Rumors that Justsin Welby's Church of England has become a pansexual pantomime are entirely true.

Cheers,

LSP

Bad Bishop

You have to feel sorry for Thomas Palermo. It's not every day that you go out for a bike ride and get killed by a hit-and-run woman bishop, but that's what happened in Baltimore on Saturday.

Assistant Maryland bishop, Heather Cook, knocked Palermo down in her SUV and didn't play the Good Samaritan. She did drive to her gated community residence, where she was followed by Moncure Lyon, who was determined to get the offending driver's license plate. Perhaps Heather had a guilty conscience, or maybe she saw that she'd been followed. Who knows; she did, however, return to the scene of the crime.

Palermo, a married father of two children, died of his injuries. Cook has a prior DUI conviction.

You can read all about it here.

LSP

Silent Running

One of the reasons I like Calgary is that it's like a science fiction movie. It even has a domed habitat with a tropical forest in it. Like on Silent Running.

The domed arcology is called the "Core," and you could shoot a movie there. Why do the people who walk through this place, shopping, eating, and reading books in a simulated rainforest, seem so content? 

Are they programmed that way? Is their nutrient system enhanced with mild euphorics? Or are the people here simply happy?

I don't know the answer, yet. But I do know that I like the Core and its inhabitants. I hope they reach their mission destination, wherever that it.

To the stars,

LSP

Sunday Snow!

Sometime during the night it began to snow and it hasn't stopped, yet. I'd forgotten what snow was, so I got up to have a cup of coffee and look at the wonder of it. All very magic of Kwanzaatide and they're predicting a lot more tomorrow, which is exciting to me, and a good incentive to look out on the winter wonderland from the fiery comfort of the Hyatt bar. A glass of something warming will be part of this.

But that's for the future. In the meanwhile, I enjoyed myself taking pictures of Stephen Avenue and Calgary's famous Tower, in the snow.

The Tower was lit up for Kwanzaa, which was a nice touch, I thought. I also noticed that the young Canadians who were ordering coffee at the hotel seemed diffident, as though they were apologizing for troubling the Croatian cashier with their purchase. That reminded me of being in England, where there's a tendency for people to cringe, bow and scrape before shopkeepers.

Of course Napoleon said that the English were a nation of shopkeepers and got soundly thrashed for his efforts.

I love the snow.

LSP