This - That & Cooking With LSP

 

So what's it like in LSPland? all three of you ask with bated breath. Well I'll tell you. It used to be all about horses, guns and fishing but now it's mostly about driving between the Compound and Fort Hood Cavasos on account of an indigent soldier's broken truck.

This, bizarrely, ended up  in a guerrilla shop in between Millford and Italy where cash was king. And, to be fair, they did the work for a good price and the kid's Chevy is back on the road. Right on. Millford, readers, used to look like this:

Now it looks like this:

Well done, asset strippers, you've created a wasteland where we should have flourishing small country towns. Still, there's a Tesla Tower nearby so who knows what tomorrow brings. Good question, for us today's brought venison sausage pasta.

It's an incredibly complex recipe. Shoot a deer or get someone to shoot it for you. Turn the meat into sausage. Slice the sausages up into 1" chunks, brown them with onion, garlic and olive oil. Add diced tomato, I use Roma because cheap. Behold your culinary expertise and have a glass of cold wine, it's hot as Hades and you deserve it.

Then season your cheerfully simmering sauce with ground black pepper, iodized salt, basil, chili powder and a couple of bay leaves. I use Mex come-in-a-plastic-bag variety because, again, cheap and just as good. No rule, feel free to pay more for your bay leaves, your call.

Then, after an hour or so, when the hearty sauce has simmered down and its oil's begun to separate, fire up a large pan of salted water and cook up a pack of spaghetti. Serve the venison over the pasta with freshly grated parmesan and fall upon your scoff...

Like Warriors,

LSP

Cooking With LSP

Typical Cooking Kukri

Ah yes, cooking with LSP, that tired old trope. Tired! No, this is a recipe that's ever old and ever new, equally at home in the wintry wastes of Northern England and the oven intense heat of a Texan summer. (Stop it, I'm warning you. Ed.). OK, here it is, Cottage Pie, and it starts at the grill.

A Grill

You know how it goes. Grill up some 80/20 burgers, yes they're delicious, eat half, freeze the rest, repeat. A week or so later open the freezer and behold the frozen medium rare, seared patties. Defrost the icy offerings and chop up an onion, celery, and a carrot. Saute the veg for a few minutes until it smells and looks right. You'll know, then add a clove or more of minced garlic. I prefer more, you may not, no rule.

Add  Some Flour, It's Not Hard

Next add the meat, stir it 'round, break it up, and simmer on medium high 'til it looks right, as in browned. Perhaps you think that's a sly, racist, reference to POCs. It's not, we're just talking cooking. Meat and veg together as one, add 1/4 cup of flour. 

Chuck it in, don't be afraid, then mix in 4 tbs of tomato paste, 1/2 cup of cheap as you like red wine, 2 cups of beef broth, 1 tsp Thyme, 2 dried Bay Leaves, 2 tbs Worcestershire Sauce, salt, pepper and chili powder to taste. Alright, the chili's not trad, but I like it, and I'm willing to bet that dry English mustard wouldn't go amiss either. Anyway...

Simmer Down!

Simmer this beast until the sauce reaches desired consistency. I let it run on medium high, stirring occasionally, until the oil and sauce start to separate, as in Bolognese or curry. Your call, just don't leave off in a fit of weakness and find yourself with a watery sauce. That's an error.

Just Enough Potatoes

Sauce/gravy achieved, take it off the heat and let it cool down. This will, maybe, prevent the filling of the pie from seeping into its mashed potato top. Not a disaster if it does, but better if it doesn't; preserve the integrity of the pie, as we should the electoral process itself.

Most Awesome

Potatoes mashed, cover the sauce with the creamy spuds, sprinkle with Parmesan or some other cheese, grind pepper over the thing, add a tbs of butter or olive oil, and put it in the oven at 350 until golden brown. Perhaps you want to texture the mashed potato top, maybe add a slogan. Up to you, some say it makes for a better pie.

Cottage Pie

Kick back for 30 minutes, have a glass of wine, sharpen a kukri,  load magazines, clean weapons, whatever, then take the pie out of the oven, let it rest, and fall upon your scoff.

Like a Warrior,

LSP