Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Operation Tree


 

The drive to Dallas was easy. Roadworks, three lane to one lane traffic jams, and being stuck behind a Commie Jeep with COEXIST on its bumper. COEXIST? Idea being that all people of all religions can just agree to get along. Good call, sounds so reasonable.




But what if you worship the Owl God, Mictlāntēcutli, what then? Or Kali? What about that? Of course they never stop to ask the question, and so we drove on to Dallas.




Its towers were shrouded in mist, like the Andes, and so was the 'sprawl itself. I made it to Ma LSP's place by instinct. Right, left, forward, get to the objective. Which we did, and  the mission? Get a tree. Easier said than done. Hardly a fir to be found.




Still, we found one and set it up. It's gleaming now, like a colonizer. 

Friendsgiving Forever,

LSP

12 comments:

drjim said...

We put ours up right after Thanksgiving. Since my Sweet Little Wife was out of town for the first half of December, she wanted it up so we could decorate it, and not have to worry about it being so close to Christmas.

We have a very nice artificial tree with built-in lighting, that she found on some community site for $10. SLW being SLW, she looked it up and found the tree originally cost several hundred dollars.

This our third year of use, and it's going strong! Took some time to sort out the wiring and fix a couple of broken connections, but it looks like new, and should be good for some years to come.

Ed Bonderenka said...

Is that your tree and topper in the photos?

SgtBob said...

Years ago when working full time with the Texas Army National Guard, I decided to get the Best Christmas Tree Ever for my family. That tree was somewhere within the boundaries of Camp Maxey, not too far from the Red River. I called the facilities manager to ask permission to cut one of the 1,000 cedars on post. The LTC in charge said, “Hell, Bob, as far as I’m concerned you can cut down every one of the SOBs.” The cedars were invasive species.

The next afternoon I got one of the company’s M35A2 trucks and drove the 50 miles to Camp Maxey. (Yes, I took a military vehicle for personal use during duty hours.) After checking in at the HQ building, I drove around, looking for the Best Christmas Tree Ever. I found that tree between the rifle range and the machine gun range. With ax and limb saw, I cut the three-inch trunk and then backed the deuce and a half into the nearby ditch and dropped the tailgate. With a good grip on the trunk, I pulled the tree to the truck, stepped into the cargo area and pulled. And pulled. The tree would not fit into the back of the truck. The perfect tree was larger than the cargo area. Plus, I figured out, if I got the tree in the truck, there was not room for me to get out. Ditch that perfect tree.

I drove around a few more miles and found a slender cedar all by itself. That one I quickly determined would fit in the cargo area. With tree in truck, I checked back at the HQ building so they would know I was gone. Facilities operating rules said gates were locked at 1700 hours. Too bad if somebody was inside at that time.

I drove home and parked the deuce in my front yard, pulled the tree from the truck and into the house. And discovered my 10-foot-tall cedar was a couple of feet taller than the living room ceiling. Not a problem. Top the tree, put on a star, we're good to go.

Adrienne said...

You're a good son, LSP.

Kid said...

There is little more annoying to me than a coexist sticker. Minds of 2 yr olds. If that.

Old NFO said...

Nice tree!

LSP said...

Glad you had success, drjim! I was worried, it was starting to look like we'd have to go down the artificial route, but found a tree in the end.

LSP said...

It is, Ed. Well, my mom's/family's. I like the wax angel, I think my parents bought it in Milwaukee in the '60s, still going strong.

LSP said...

Sgt, great story!

I was beginning to think we'd have to go down the Cypress path because there WEREN'T ANY TREES. Found one, just, and it fitted into the bed of the rig. A bit too comfortably...

LSP said...

I try, Adrienne. But I like helping to put up Christmas at the homestead. So that's all good.

LSP said...

Kid, it makes me want to reach for a gun(s).

LSP said...

It turned out alright, NFO, but it's not as big and remarkable as I would've liked. Which, I think, pleased Ma LSP. Hmmmm.