Time Travel

 

Do you remember the days when we were able to afford meat? Yes, actual meat which we cooked on carbon footprint grills. Perhaps you recall that halcyon time and here at Dallas HQ we dialed back the clock last night to relive them.

After a brief dimensional shudder, a rip in the fabric of space and time, there it was, a grill with two New York strips sizzling above the charcoal.

Quick! Grill those bad boys before the Rainbow Time Cops bust down your door like so many SWAT teams ransacking Mar-a-Lago. Then let those steaks rest as you consider the future you've just escaped, a crazy timeline where America's run by a power mad gerontocracy, the Uniparty.

Can the future be changed by going back in time? And if so, where do we start? Perhaps with General Lee winning the War or Archduke Ferdinand's assassin apprehended before he took the fatal shot which set the end of Western civ in motion. But why stop there.

Portal through to the 11th C, stop the Eastern Schism, perhaps a saint speaks sense, turn the 1st Crusade into an allied operation against the Moslem horde and... Asia Minor would still be Christian, to say nothing of the Bosphorus. 

βασιλική Ἄννα Κομνηνή, Princess Anna Comena would rejoice.

Xαῖρε,

LSP

Time Travel!

It's Regency London, the Westminster Pit, some five years after the Corsican upstart met his nemesis at Waterloo. Candlelit faces gleam with anticipation, and it's on, "Gennellmen, place your bets!" 

A monkey emerges from shadow into the ring, club high, fangs barred, simian snarling. Yes, this is Jacco and he's not alone, a dog growls, ferocious, it is Puss, the favourite. Fight.

A flash of gold in the wings, of real money, "Wager a guinea on the monkey, eh? Devil take the hindmost." Hat, stock, cane and guinea purse agree, "Hindmost? Twice up and double on the ape, damme." And the monkey wins against the odds. Triumph. A short clip back to St. James, White's and...

It's North Central Texas, Anno Domini 2021, with a hot sun blazing from a blue sky. "How much you want for this pipe?" Silence is golden, "You tell me," and business concluded. Not as racy perhaps as the Pit, but no less good for all that. 

If you look hard enough, there's a frontier, country, equivalency between the two.

Time travel's weird like that.

LSP

Donald Trump, Time Traveler?

Is President Trump a time traveler, thanks to Tesla Tech which his family has kept under wraps for a generation? Research suggests that he is, due to a series of 19th century novels, featuring Barron Trump and his ally "Don."

Putin Traverses Time With Ease

In Baron Trump's Marvellous Underground Journey, the intrepid Barron, who lives in Castle Trump, makes a deal with the Russians to transport himself to "other lands." Sound familiar? Yes, because it is.

The author of the Trump novels also foretells the end of the US Presidency itself, “Mobs of vast size are organizing under the lead of anarchists and socialists, and threaten to plunder and despoil the houses of the rich who have wronged and oppressed them for so many years."

This causes the "upper portions" of the city to be "paralyzed with a nameless dread," which is partly on account of Don's consort, Malenia, a "Balkaan Beauty" who is described as "fearsome, ambitious, competent yet more glamorous than all of them. They were stricken with jealousy and died."

Interestingly, President Trump's Uncle, John Trump, was responsible for Nikola Tesla's effects when the pioneering scientist died.

Some faggy old fruit with a woman

Is Donald Trump a Time Traveler, thanks to Tesla Tech? And is it enough to drain the swamp? You, the reader, be the judge.

TL = mc^2,

LSP